Being a Little Mean with RotoSnips...

[DOUGHBOYS]

'Victor Martinez will be placed on the paternity leave list following Thursday's game.
He will be excused from the club for a couple of days to welcome his third child. Martinez is starting at designated hitter and batting cleanup Thursday afternoon against the Orioles.

WELL, AT LEAST HE'S HITTING SOMETHING!

'Jayson Werth is out of the Nationals' starting lineup on Thursday against the Pirates.
Werth has been dealing with some minor groin tightness, so he'll grab a day of rest in the Nats' series finale versus Pittsburgh'

WAIT, DID HE JUST USE THE WORDS 'GRAB' AND GROIN' IN THE SAME SENTENCE?

'Emilio Bonifacio (illness) hit a pinch-hit RBI sac fly in the Braves' defeat of the Blue Jays on Wednesday.'

I OBJECT YOUR HONOR ON THE BASIS THAT THERE IS NO RELEVANCE HERE!
OBJECTION SUSTAINED!

'Albert Pujols was lifted early from Wednesday's game because of hamstring tightness, according to the Angels.
Pujols was 2-for-2 with two RBI and two walks before being lifted for a pinch-runner, though he was thrown out by about 30 feet when he tried to reach second on a shot to the wall in the fifth. The Angels don't play Thursday, so Pujols probably won't miss any additional time.'

AND WHERE, SON, DID YOU GET THAT MEDICAL DEGREE? or....
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT WHEN ROTOWORLD PLAYS 'DOCTOR'

'Christian Bergman shut out the A's for 7 1/3 innings and struck out nine to pick up his first win for the Mariners on Wednesday.
Bergman picked up his first win as a starter since going 3-5 with a 5.93 ERA in 10 starts as a rookie for the Rockies in 2014. We wouldn't read a whole lot into it, given the opponent tonight. Bergman earned himself another start tonight, but he has a better chance of contributing in middle relief than he does in the rotation.'

THREE WORDS, JUST THREE WORDS WERE NEEDED.....'HE STILL SUCKS'

Edit-
One thing missed by the roto News was this beauty of a comment by Eric O'Flaherty after Jose Bautisia bat flipped in a game with hard feelings AND his team down by five runs with the bases empty in the eighth inning....

"“I’m surprised he’s ready to fight again after last year,”

[Edwards Kings]

'Victor Martinez will be placed on the paternity leave list following Thursday's game.
He will be excused from the club for a couple of days to welcome his third child. Martinez is starting at designated hitter and batting cleanup Thursday afternoon against the Orioles.

WELL, AT LEAST HE'S HITTING SOMETHING!

Just like Boston, priceless....

[DOUGHBOYS]

Rougned Odor not available for quick trade so the Braves have signed Mike Tyson to a one-day contract for tonight's game with the Blue Jays

[Edwards Kings]

And the Braves had such a good shot at the World Series until now....damn.

Wonder if they still have Ryan Howard's number?

[DOUGHBOYS]

Replacing Freddie Freeman at first base with Ryan Howard is like renting Caddyshack, only to get home and see that somebody had slipped Caddyshack 2 into the package.

[ToddZ]

Called up Rio Ruiz and signed James Loney.

Hey, I'm just the messenger.

[Edwards Kings]

Oh...I am feeling MUCH better now....

[ToddZ]

Big City to the rescue!

[Edwards Kings]

Big City to the rescue!

"Number 32 in your program, Number 1 in your heart!"