Baseball Players?

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:06 am

Yesterday, I went through eight spring training games that were stored on the dvr.

After looking at these games through fantasy eyes, boredom set in, and looked at some players with a different focus.

Jayson Werth- Have you seen the dude this year? His beard and long hair screams Johnny Damon wannabe. But, it's not working, he looks more like the Unibomber.

Joe Blanton and Nick Johnson- These guys have never looked like ballplayers. If somebody had told me that either had played "Lumpy" on 'Leave it to Beaver', I'd have believed them.

Juan Pierre - "Huggy Bear" on 'Starsky and Hutch', right?

Edwin Encarnacion- Truly, this is not a good looking guy. He took fireworks to the puss over the off season....and nobody has noticed.

Prince Fielder- He is the only vegetarian I know of, that actually grows more each year. Before steroids, and wrestlers exuding massive muscles where there shouldn't even be muscles, there was a wrestler named Haystack Calhoun(I'm sure there is a picture somewhere). Prince Fielder is the Haystack Calhoun of baseball.

JD Drew- You know how old timers reflect on the elegance with which Joe DiMaggio moved? JD Drew has those same graceful tendecies. Watch him, without fantasy eyes for awhile. On the field he looks like DiMaggio, unfortunately, on your fantasy roster, he still looks like DiMaggio.

Tim Lincecum- Although now I will see him as kd Lang (Thanks KOQ!

). This kid could ride right by me on a skateboard and I'd tell him to knock it off and get a life.

Craig Counsell- The guy is 40 and probably still gets carded. He is the Dick Clark of baseball...well, pre-stroke Dick Clark, poor Dick looks every bit his age now. Counsell would be the guy that Edwin Encarnacion would want to "shotgun" with in trying to get lucky.

I know there are others, I didn't get to see some teams.

Thoughts for this list?

Ando · Post by **Ando** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 4:47 am

It's a good thing Derrick Turnbow wasn't on the mound yesterday!

Raskol · Post by **Raskol** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 5:48 am

Eight games in one day...that's the life, Dan!!!

As for nominations for ball players, I suggest anyone from the long hair days of the 70's. There were some cool (and weird) looking guys on the field.

King of Queens · Post by **King of Queens** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:28 am

Doughy, 8 games and you missed Clay Pflibson Zavada's appearance? Best moustache (and middle name) in the game today!

sportsbettingman · Post by **sportsbettingman** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:39 am

Originally posted by King of Queens:

Doughy, 8 games and you missed Clay Pflibson Zavada's appearance? Best moustache (and middle name) in the game today!

KILLER!!! I'm inspired!

I was considering getting a group together and growing hair/beard out...(like the Beardo's from Benetti's friends)...but this looks so much more fun! Not sure I have enough hair, though.

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:42 am

I didn't get to see Arizona, King.

That mustache goes along with his name though.

Clay Zavada.

That name just screams to be a gunfighter in a western. Some dirt make-up would have to be applied to that face to make him more 'grizzled'.

I think one of the many Doc Holliday characters had a similar mustache.

If Zavada ever becomes a closer, he'll have to pick out 'Hang em High' or the 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly as his entrance song.

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:44 am

Al Hrabosky comes to mind...

Edwards Kings · Post by **Edwards Kings** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:58 am

Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:

Prince Fielder- He is the only vegetarian I know of, that actually grows more each year. Before steroids, and wrestlers exuding massive muscles where there shouldn't even be muscles, there was a wrestler named Haystack Calhoun(I'm sure there is a picture somewhere). Prince Fielder is the Haystack Calhoun of baseball.Here you go, Doughy!

I actually saw him "wrestle" back in the day. Bruno Samartino, Big Bill Dromo, The Vachon Brothers (Butcher and Mad Dog)...now that was sports!

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:03 pm

Originally posted by Edwards Kings:

quote:Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:

Prince Fielder- He is the only vegetarian I know of, that actually grows more each year. Before steroids, and wrestlers exuding massive muscles where there shouldn't even be muscles, there was a wrestler named Haystack Calhoun(I'm sure there is a picture somewhere). Prince Fielder is the Haystack Calhoun of baseball.Here you go, Doughy!

I actually saw him "wrestle" back in the day. Bruno Samartino, Big Bill Dromo, The Vachon Brothers (Butcher and Mad Dog)...now that was sports! [/QUOTE]Great stuff, Wayne.

I liked the Vachon Brothers and Ray Stevens.

Watching other wrestlers trying to handle the Haystack was hilarious.

Ryan C · Post by **Ryan C** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 12:42 pm

Oscar Gamble's fro was the all-time best. I think he got a ball stuck in it once.

Not sure - but wasn't that the reason King George instituted the cleancut look in NY again.

Quahogs · Post by **Quahogs** » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:58 pm

Mister Fister and...

...Master Blaster !

Dirt Dogs · Post by **Dirt Dogs** » Fri Apr 23, 2010 2:05 am

Mr. Fister is off to a great start. If only we knew when his picture was posted.

JeffSeilhamer · Post by **JeffSeilhamer** » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:49 am

I have to nominate Jorge Cantu as the fugliest guy in Baseball currently playing...But he's having one heck of a start for the Marlins.

But here maybe the cream of the crop.

Does anyone remember the Street Fighter Character Dhalsim? This maybe Otis's twin brother.

Dirt Dogs · Post by **Dirt Dogs** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 2:56 pm

Tis the life

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Sat Apr 24, 2010 4:58 pm

Separated at birth:

Ben Sheets:

and Stifler:

And I'll nominate for ugliest man in pro baseball Texas Rangers reliver Warner Madrigal who looks like - and is built like - a troll living under a bridge:

The Mighty Men · Post by **The Mighty Men** » Sun Apr 25, 2010 1:17 am

Originally posted by Edwards Kings:

quote:Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:

Prince Fielder- He is the only vegetarian I know of, that actually grows more each year. Before steroids, and wrestlers exuding massive muscles where there shouldn't even be muscles, there was a wrestler named Haystack Calhoun(I'm sure there is a picture somewhere). Prince Fielder is the Haystack Calhoun of baseball.Here you go, Doughy!

I actually saw him "wrestle" back in the day. Bruno Samartino, Big Bill Dromo, The Vachon Brothers (Butcher and Mad Dog)...now that was sports! [/QUOTE]Dan - outstanding comparison to Fielder. lol He even has the little beard going!

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Sun Apr 25, 2010 4:15 am

Thanks Jack.

Warped sense of humor as a kid. The Three stooges and people trying to wrestle Haystack Calhoun....nothing made me laugh more.

I was a sucker for physical schtick.

Glenneration X · Post by **Glenneration X** » Sun Apr 25, 2010 5:23 am

Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:

Thanks Jack.

Warped sense of humor as a kid. The Three stooges and people trying to wrestle Haystack Calhoun....nothing made me laugh more.

I was a sucker for physical schtick. I don't really remember Haystacks too well, but I do have vivid memories of Andre the Giant.

I recall that they'd have three no-name wrestlers take him on at once and he'd throw them all around for a few minutes. Eventually he'd stack them on top of each other and lie on top of all three for the count out.

Sports entertainment at its best!!

Glenn