Roto Snips

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 7:18 am

'JaMarcus Russell balloons to 300 pounds'

I know this is a baseball site, but I couldn't resist. If anybody has seen Russell, they would probably say that 300 pounds came and went a year ago.

I try to be a little humorous for roto snips, but there is nothing funny in the way Russell has conducted himself, even before being signed to a professional contract.

Look for him under an overpass or bridge near you in 10 years.

' Jeff Suppan sent to the Bullpen'

After years of Brewer fans hearing 'innings eater', the Brewers FINALLY do the right thing. Well sorta, I don't see Suppan being much help from the pen either.

That is to say, until the Brewers meet up with the Pirates again. This way, Suppan could get a three inning save while mopping up with a 20 run lead.

'Josh Hamilton, Looking Sluggish, to get day off'

He's playing for the perfect Manager.

'Vicente Padilla joins Disabled List'

Both of Padilla's parents had a droll sense of humor. In English, Vicente translates to, 'hurry and drop me'.

Of course now, hurrying and dropping Vicente Padilla has a whole new meaning.

[ April 26, 2010, 02:33 PM: Message edited by: DOUGHBOYS ]

Gladiators · Post by **Gladiators** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 7:37 am

I heard JaMarcus saw they had signed Jason Campbell and took out his frustrations on a neighboring Krispy Kreme the next morning, in a scene described by spectators as "uglier then Russell orchestrating a 2-minute drill in a driving snowstorm."

In all seriousness, the Raiders are saying they are going to ask him to take a massive paycut from the near 10 million he is scheduled to make. Early reports (before his agent talks some sense into him) are that Russell is not pleased with the idea of a paycut. The real question is, if Russell declines and is cut....is ANYONE in the league going to pick him up?

Paging Ryan Leaf...

Joe Sambito · Post by **Joe Sambito** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 8:04 am

Could he play guard?

Dirt Dogs · Post by **Dirt Dogs** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 8:21 am

I think Russell is going to take the easy way out and just sit back and retire on his ridiculous amounts of money he has made before he ever threw one pass.

The contracts/signing bonuses these top draft picks get are enough for a smart man to sit back and retire on.

I dont know his finances but I would think with some good financial guidance he could just retire and go away happy.

Navel Lint · Post by **Navel Lint** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 9:20 am

Originally posted by Dirt Dogs:

I think Russell is going to take the easy way out and just sit back and retire on his ridiculous amounts of money I could only dream

Hawk · Post by **Hawk** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 9:38 am

Originally posted by Gladiators:

I heard JaMarcus saw they had signed Jason Campbell and took out his frustrations on a neighboring Krispy Kreme the next morning, in a scene described by spectators as "uglier then Russell orchestrating a 2-minute drill in a driving snowstorm."

If I was drinking anything, this would have had me spitting it out all over my laptop! OMG! Funniest thing I've read in a LONG time!

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Mon Apr 26, 2010 4:45 pm

On cue, Suppan is in the game with a 15 run lead.