Dolly Barton

[DOUGHBOYS]

Shawn Childs term 'Judy', for the speedster with little else going for him, is perfect. Calling any male a female name, cannot be construed any other way than as insulting.

Most drafters do not utter a judy's name with enthusiasm. Sometimes, even with disdain. In taking a judy, we are admitting that our team lacks speed and are sacrificing a precious draft pick in order to cover one category, and maybe, help two others. I have the same sneer on my face when taking a closer.



During mid-season of last year, I started calling another group of hitters by a girl's name. These hitters seemed to be on all my rosters, and for the most part, I loathed them.

Todd Helton, James Loney, Chris Coghlan, Logan Morrison, Yunel Escobar, and especially Daric Barton are all part of the group. There are others, but these guys were on a roster.

There typical box score looks like this over a three game series:

4-0-2-1

5-1-1-0

2-0-1-0



A box score to match our year is of little use to fantasy players.

Fillers.

That is what they are.

Homers or stolen bases, fuhgiddabout it.

Besides hits, ANY crooked number in a category while looking at daily box scores seemed a rarity.



In honor of Daric Barton, who is just a swell real baseball player, but a filler in fantasy, I started calling these players 'Dolly's'.

You know, as in Dolly Barton.

Like Dolly herself, they are soft and do not run.



A dolly can look good in some cases. Heck, Barton was fifth in the American League in on base percentage. Even leading the league in walks. Counting force outs, hits, bb, hbp, he reached first base an incredible 280 times last season. He scored just 79 times.

And worse, only knocked in 57 runs.

Dalie Lama had more oomph.



A judy will eventually steal a base. We, at least have that. Dolly's have, and will, be a four category drag. At times, wishing they had more rbi/runs numbers than the real Dolly's chest size. With a judy, there is a light, or at least, an expectation of light at the end of the tunnel, with a dolly, there is just more tunnel.



When drafting dolly's, we are only in need of average or to fill a position.

It is a selection, while thinking, 'Well, at least that position is filled'. Later, during the season, a sacrifice fly from a dolly can result in a fist pump from us. Uggh.



It's a bad habit. Heck, I've already drafted a dolly in each of my slo-drafts. The shame is all mine.

I must revert back to my childhood. Be all boy again.

Back then, I wouldn't be caught dead, playing with a dolly.

[751542]

nice read and very accurate!!

[bjoak]

You know, he profiles an awful lot like Youkilis who wasn't hitting for much more power at the same age so maybe there is some hope for him. I'm sure the A's have him on some sort of Wheaties diet this offseason as their hope has always been that he'll develop power. Now that he's a legitimate starter maybe that's his number one goal.



Not that I'd project him for much power. It's probably just wishful thinking.



I did enjoy watching him come around this year. At the beginning of the year my impression was a first basemen who can't hit--disaster in the lineup. On top of it, he seemed to make a hundred bad plays at first in week one. But as the year went on, he was always on base and played great D (going on to run away with the Fielding Bible Award) and my attitude did a 180. Here's to hoping he can change my attitude about his utility as a fantasy player.

[rkulaski]

Totally agree, Bjoak. It seemed like he was always on base as the season progressed. I found myself using him as my CI option in a couple DC leagues more so than Aramis Ramirez and grew very fond of Dolly last year. While I don't think he'll make the Youkil-esque jump in power, at least he's no Ryan Sweeney.