"Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edition
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"Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edition
So without further ado and in no particular order off the top of my head...
Sorry it's been a while boys and girls, but my budding celebrity demands have been keeping me occupied lately. That is if you call spending my Sunday last week with SDD's CEO and NFBC'er Scott Fleming's wife shooting promotional video spots for Sports Draft Daily (http://www.sportsdraftdaily.com), celebrity. Essentially these were hilarious little vignettes written and directed by a professional film crew, but apparently there was no additional money in the budget to hire professional actors as well. So Fleming in his infinite wisdom and astute business acumen, enlisted me to play the tortured husband for the videos, a couple of adorable neighborhood children as my kids, and a hot blonde chick to play my wife. Only problem, that's the role she plays in real life for Fleming, and she wasn't too keen on being Shanghaied for her Sunday for "a little while to help out" as she was assured by her husband which essentially turned out to be all day...with no sign of Fleming to be found! (Turns out he hadn't planned for any babysitting help in advance either ). So essentially I was left doing my Pulp Fiction poor man's Vincent Vega impersonation all day having to entertain this woman.
In the end, I think we shot some pretty creative and funny stuff, but I couldn't help thinking as I was driving home about a great quote that I had read somewhere: "No matter how good she looks, somewhere there's someone who's sick of her crap." Probably explains why Fleming spends so much of his time on the road for work. And before anyone has a cow, we already joked about all this before I wrote it. I should have known what I was in for from this exchange that took place shortly before the shoot:
Fleming's wife: "Remember, April 15th is Mickey Mouse." (with our son)
Fleming: "You do realize that I have to do free agency and fabb that day to have a chance at winning the money."
Fleming's wife: :"Oh Please don't start with that shit again!" Classic.
Why can't the wives just get that this stuff takes priority over just about everything.
One of the unfortunate things about listening to Sirius XM's Fantasy Sports Channel all day when I'm the road (besides former major league ball players and GM's trying to give fantasy baseball advice; note: PLEASE STOP THIS), has to be those creepy Christian Mingle dating site commercials. I mean seriously, how bad do these people need to get laid? And is it really God's will that you join these sites so that you can hook up with another equally creepy preordained, random man or woman to get some blessed oral and hopefully a ring to follow? I just don't get it...which is why I probably should try Christian Mingle! How much would someone give me to join, go on dates, and do hidden camera reactions when at some point into the first few minutes of the date I tell these women that I'm really a Satan worshiper, and sorry for the confusion. Yes, I would be on my way to hell, but since I've been a Mets fan my entire life, Lucifer says we're cool.
Speaking of The Devil, I'm usually able to somewhat tune out the "music" of today when I'm in the gym, but I happen to catch the following song lyric the other day: "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock...". Either more proof of the Devil's handiwork, or there is no God to allow such suffering bestowed on mankind. I'm not getting old. The majority of the music today sucks. Period.
Nice segue for a few words related to working out and Major League Baseball. I have been in the gym game for about 27 years now. I've been a personal trainer, helped managed two gyms back in the day, and competed in natural NPC bodybuilding competitions, and untested drug shows as well when I was the only natural bodybuilder on stage. And I can honestly say, that if any of you think that Mike Trout is 6' 1" and 240 lbs. and is claiming that he's at 9% body fat, you're friggin' deluded!. I'm about 6'1", and I have been 240 lbs. in the past, and if I was 9% bodyfat and clean at that weight, I would have won every competition I was in (FYI, drugged pro bodybuilders hit the stage at a dangerously unhealthy 4-5% body fat at that weight or even slightly lower; and natural bodybuilders around 7-8% unless they're sticks) . So what I'm saying is, he'd be a shredded monster... and he's not. That's fat, and he needs to lose it if he truly weighs that much because it will affect his speed and his agility for sure. They used to say the same shit about Shaq years ago when he was playing, "he's 7'1 and 350 lbs. at 3% bodyfat" or some crazy shit like that. Please. Below is what one of the most massive pro bodybuilders in the history of the sport looked like at his peak at nearly 6'6" tall and close to 300 lbs. with single digit bodyfat:
Of course Lou had some help, but for his time, he dwarfed everyone in the sport, including Arnold, and would have eventually beaten him if he didn't leave bodybuilding to pursue being:
Well, at least we know Mike Trout has something he can slide into if baseball doesn't work out.
Just finished up Dan Kenyon's latest DC Express. He's obviously now just selling off his name for marketing purposes as a shill for the NFBC because now he's not even in his own drafts! That being said, I don't know if I can ever go back to drafting in any other type of DC draft. What a pleasure getting these done at a 10 rds per day clip. Of course, it does have it's inconveniences such as when I happened to be a little slow on the uptake for a pick in my role as the friendly, neighborhood draft facilitator. Apparently everyone wanted a little "payback", so when I was 10 minutes "late" and holding up a run one night, I think I got like seven text messages in a 30 second clip. Explain that one to your wife around midnight during the week. But let none of you reading this be deterred in getting involved in this format. Once you do, you'll be hooked.
Which side would you choose in this side bet for best combined stats for the 2013 season: Jay Bruce and Carl Crawford or Adam "Gekko" LaRoche and Lorenzo "Gekko" Cain? Guess who favors who? That's what makes him "The Draft Champions Master".
And as promised, my college security story (Cliff Notes version):
The long and short of it was you were supposed to pay for a parking permit to park on campus. I was like, "Parking permit?! I don't need no stinking parking permit!". Didn't need no parking spaces either apparently. I used to park my very conspicuous (even for that time) 1969 metallic blue Buick LaSabre anywhere I damn well pleased. My favorite spot being on the lawn outside my first floor dorm window. Best spot on campus.
Well I racked up a few tickets over the course of the year (maybe 75-80 ), and I wasn't real happy about it. So I decided to take out my righteous indignation on campus security while performing what I thought was a community service on behalf of my fellow students as well. So at night, my roommate and I would roam the campus righting the wrongs of "unfairly" issued parking tickets by removing them from every car that had been isued one across campus. This went on for about a semester. The newspaper wrote stories after a while of the mystery of "missing and disappearing" parking summonses. They just couldn't figure it out. Well, in time, all good things must come to an end. They eventually booted my car when I decided to park it next to the chief of campus security's parking space. I guess that was pushing it a bit.. Apparently, my car had become the "most wanted" impound on campus (funny I never recalled seeing any posters up in the post office, I told them ).
Anyway, when I went down to the security station with my roommate along to back me up to confront the chief head on, and hopefully reconcile all of my evil ways with him, it kind of got off on the wrong foot. Unbeknownst to us, it turned out that he was a proud WWII vet who had fought over in Europe, and this was his retirement job after being part of the real police force somewhere. Somehow the conversation became a bit heated, and I believe the word "NAZI" was hurled in his direction. Word of advice: Never refer to veteran of WWII who has seen action in the European theater of operations as a "Nazi." Let's just say he popped a few gaskets before having to be physically restrained to prevent us from a potentially serious beatdown. This actually ended up working in our favor, because he was so threatening to us "kids", that he scared even himself. I walked out of there paying about $75 in total fines and my being kindly car de-booted and back in my possession. Just how things used to work out for me back in those days. I'm sure officer Sack Magner could let us in on what I would be facing today if I was implicated on half of what I had done back then today.
Know this was a long one, but hope it was worth the read. Be back soon with more pre-Vegas musings.
-MTM
Sorry it's been a while boys and girls, but my budding celebrity demands have been keeping me occupied lately. That is if you call spending my Sunday last week with SDD's CEO and NFBC'er Scott Fleming's wife shooting promotional video spots for Sports Draft Daily (http://www.sportsdraftdaily.com), celebrity. Essentially these were hilarious little vignettes written and directed by a professional film crew, but apparently there was no additional money in the budget to hire professional actors as well. So Fleming in his infinite wisdom and astute business acumen, enlisted me to play the tortured husband for the videos, a couple of adorable neighborhood children as my kids, and a hot blonde chick to play my wife. Only problem, that's the role she plays in real life for Fleming, and she wasn't too keen on being Shanghaied for her Sunday for "a little while to help out" as she was assured by her husband which essentially turned out to be all day...with no sign of Fleming to be found! (Turns out he hadn't planned for any babysitting help in advance either ). So essentially I was left doing my Pulp Fiction poor man's Vincent Vega impersonation all day having to entertain this woman.
In the end, I think we shot some pretty creative and funny stuff, but I couldn't help thinking as I was driving home about a great quote that I had read somewhere: "No matter how good she looks, somewhere there's someone who's sick of her crap." Probably explains why Fleming spends so much of his time on the road for work. And before anyone has a cow, we already joked about all this before I wrote it. I should have known what I was in for from this exchange that took place shortly before the shoot:
Fleming's wife: "Remember, April 15th is Mickey Mouse." (with our son)
Fleming: "You do realize that I have to do free agency and fabb that day to have a chance at winning the money."
Fleming's wife: :"Oh Please don't start with that shit again!" Classic.
Why can't the wives just get that this stuff takes priority over just about everything.
One of the unfortunate things about listening to Sirius XM's Fantasy Sports Channel all day when I'm the road (besides former major league ball players and GM's trying to give fantasy baseball advice; note: PLEASE STOP THIS), has to be those creepy Christian Mingle dating site commercials. I mean seriously, how bad do these people need to get laid? And is it really God's will that you join these sites so that you can hook up with another equally creepy preordained, random man or woman to get some blessed oral and hopefully a ring to follow? I just don't get it...which is why I probably should try Christian Mingle! How much would someone give me to join, go on dates, and do hidden camera reactions when at some point into the first few minutes of the date I tell these women that I'm really a Satan worshiper, and sorry for the confusion. Yes, I would be on my way to hell, but since I've been a Mets fan my entire life, Lucifer says we're cool.
Speaking of The Devil, I'm usually able to somewhat tune out the "music" of today when I'm in the gym, but I happen to catch the following song lyric the other day: "Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock...". Either more proof of the Devil's handiwork, or there is no God to allow such suffering bestowed on mankind. I'm not getting old. The majority of the music today sucks. Period.
Nice segue for a few words related to working out and Major League Baseball. I have been in the gym game for about 27 years now. I've been a personal trainer, helped managed two gyms back in the day, and competed in natural NPC bodybuilding competitions, and untested drug shows as well when I was the only natural bodybuilder on stage. And I can honestly say, that if any of you think that Mike Trout is 6' 1" and 240 lbs. and is claiming that he's at 9% body fat, you're friggin' deluded!. I'm about 6'1", and I have been 240 lbs. in the past, and if I was 9% bodyfat and clean at that weight, I would have won every competition I was in (FYI, drugged pro bodybuilders hit the stage at a dangerously unhealthy 4-5% body fat at that weight or even slightly lower; and natural bodybuilders around 7-8% unless they're sticks) . So what I'm saying is, he'd be a shredded monster... and he's not. That's fat, and he needs to lose it if he truly weighs that much because it will affect his speed and his agility for sure. They used to say the same shit about Shaq years ago when he was playing, "he's 7'1 and 350 lbs. at 3% bodyfat" or some crazy shit like that. Please. Below is what one of the most massive pro bodybuilders in the history of the sport looked like at his peak at nearly 6'6" tall and close to 300 lbs. with single digit bodyfat:
Of course Lou had some help, but for his time, he dwarfed everyone in the sport, including Arnold, and would have eventually beaten him if he didn't leave bodybuilding to pursue being:
Well, at least we know Mike Trout has something he can slide into if baseball doesn't work out.
Just finished up Dan Kenyon's latest DC Express. He's obviously now just selling off his name for marketing purposes as a shill for the NFBC because now he's not even in his own drafts! That being said, I don't know if I can ever go back to drafting in any other type of DC draft. What a pleasure getting these done at a 10 rds per day clip. Of course, it does have it's inconveniences such as when I happened to be a little slow on the uptake for a pick in my role as the friendly, neighborhood draft facilitator. Apparently everyone wanted a little "payback", so when I was 10 minutes "late" and holding up a run one night, I think I got like seven text messages in a 30 second clip. Explain that one to your wife around midnight during the week. But let none of you reading this be deterred in getting involved in this format. Once you do, you'll be hooked.
Which side would you choose in this side bet for best combined stats for the 2013 season: Jay Bruce and Carl Crawford or Adam "Gekko" LaRoche and Lorenzo "Gekko" Cain? Guess who favors who? That's what makes him "The Draft Champions Master".
And as promised, my college security story (Cliff Notes version):
The long and short of it was you were supposed to pay for a parking permit to park on campus. I was like, "Parking permit?! I don't need no stinking parking permit!". Didn't need no parking spaces either apparently. I used to park my very conspicuous (even for that time) 1969 metallic blue Buick LaSabre anywhere I damn well pleased. My favorite spot being on the lawn outside my first floor dorm window. Best spot on campus.
Well I racked up a few tickets over the course of the year (maybe 75-80 ), and I wasn't real happy about it. So I decided to take out my righteous indignation on campus security while performing what I thought was a community service on behalf of my fellow students as well. So at night, my roommate and I would roam the campus righting the wrongs of "unfairly" issued parking tickets by removing them from every car that had been isued one across campus. This went on for about a semester. The newspaper wrote stories after a while of the mystery of "missing and disappearing" parking summonses. They just couldn't figure it out. Well, in time, all good things must come to an end. They eventually booted my car when I decided to park it next to the chief of campus security's parking space. I guess that was pushing it a bit.. Apparently, my car had become the "most wanted" impound on campus (funny I never recalled seeing any posters up in the post office, I told them ).
Anyway, when I went down to the security station with my roommate along to back me up to confront the chief head on, and hopefully reconcile all of my evil ways with him, it kind of got off on the wrong foot. Unbeknownst to us, it turned out that he was a proud WWII vet who had fought over in Europe, and this was his retirement job after being part of the real police force somewhere. Somehow the conversation became a bit heated, and I believe the word "NAZI" was hurled in his direction. Word of advice: Never refer to veteran of WWII who has seen action in the European theater of operations as a "Nazi." Let's just say he popped a few gaskets before having to be physically restrained to prevent us from a potentially serious beatdown. This actually ended up working in our favor, because he was so threatening to us "kids", that he scared even himself. I walked out of there paying about $75 in total fines and my being kindly car de-booted and back in my possession. Just how things used to work out for me back in those days. I'm sure officer Sack Magner could let us in on what I would be facing today if I was implicated on half of what I had done back then today.
Know this was a long one, but hope it was worth the read. Be back soon with more pre-Vegas musings.
-MTM
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Good stuff Mike. That '69 Lesabre was my first car only in Gold. Lots of good memories from the confines of that fine automobile.
Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Mikey,
Those hamsters up top in your head must have been working overtime last night!!
Those hamsters up top in your head must have been working overtime last night!!
- Glenneration X
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Massotto's celebrity continues to soar.....Baseball Furies wrote: Sorry it's been a while boys and girls, but my budding celebrity demands have been keeping me occupied lately.
In this photo: MtM takes in the thunderous applause at the latest stop of the Mouth Musings World Tour 2013.
In the first row, Mrs. Fleming and a Sports Draft Daily investor, both sent to represent Scott Fleming while he preps for the Diamond. How'd they ever get such good seats with such ridiculously high demand???
All kidding aside Mikey, another fun article. Keep up the good work.
- Edwards Kings
- Posts: 5879
- Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2004 6:00 pm
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Close...so very close!
Nice article!
Nice article!
Baseball is a slow, boring, complex, cerebral game that doesn't lend itself to histrionics. You 'take in' a baseball game, something odd to say about a football or basketball game, with the clock running and the bodies flying.
Charles Krauthammer
Charles Krauthammer
Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Be forewarned anyone headed to Vegas. The slogan "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" runs counter to Mike's man code. Little did I know that my private conversations with him would be used for his public humor blogs here.
Let me see if I can return the favor:
I was speaking with a film guy about doing some humorous video sketches and so he draws everything up and asks me if I know anyone to play the guy role. He is looking for someone that is a huge narcissist, loves the spotlight, stinks at fantasy baseball, but actually believes he's good. Two seconds later I was on the horn with Massotto to check his availability.
I figured getting him involved doing this stuff would save me from having to finance his soon-to-be direct to video "Multiplexing" film. I feel badly for Will Tyrer and Nick Cassavetes in Vegas.....they're in for a long weekend with MTM! Don't believe me, just ask Jupinka
Let me see if I can return the favor:
I was speaking with a film guy about doing some humorous video sketches and so he draws everything up and asks me if I know anyone to play the guy role. He is looking for someone that is a huge narcissist, loves the spotlight, stinks at fantasy baseball, but actually believes he's good. Two seconds later I was on the horn with Massotto to check his availability.
I figured getting him involved doing this stuff would save me from having to finance his soon-to-be direct to video "Multiplexing" film. I feel badly for Will Tyrer and Nick Cassavetes in Vegas.....they're in for a long weekend with MTM! Don't believe me, just ask Jupinka
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Metallic blue? Could've sworn it was green.
The defense is WRONG!
The defense is WRONG!
- Baseball Furies
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Definitely a classic, Ante. It was actually a gift from my grandmother who had it shipped up from Florida for me. It was a 15- year-old car at the time with less than 15,000 miles on it. So literally, a little old lady basically drove it back and forth to church each day. Needless to stay, it was not accustomed to the way I drove it (and parked it ), so problems galore soon ensued.Rotties wrote:Good stuff Mike. That '69 Lesabre was my first car only in Gold. Lots of good memories from the confines of that fine automobile.
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Hamsters?! C'mon, Dobies. Give me a little more credit than that. At least gerbils.ALL-IN JD wrote:Mikey,
Those hamsters up top in your head must have been working overtime last night!!
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Glenneration X wrote:Massotto's celebrity continues to soar.....Baseball Furies wrote: Sorry it's been a while boys and girls, but my budding celebrity demands have been keeping me occupied lately.
In this photo: MtM takes in the thunderous applause at the latest stop of the Mouth Musings World Tour 2013.
In the first row, Mrs. Fleming and a Sports Draft Daily investor, both sent to represent Scott Fleming while he preps for the Diamond. How'd they ever get such good seats with such ridiculously high demand???
All kidding aside Mikey, another fun article. Keep up the good work.
LMAO! Good stuff, Glenn. Looking forward to see you out in Vegas. Less then two weeks away now!
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
LMAFAO! You actually do read once in a while, Flemming. That's good to see. Just keep in mind, I'm not going to keep supplying you all the talent at the discount I'm giving it you now, so Childs may have to start taking a pay cut!la Jolla wrote:Be forewarned anyone headed to Vegas. The slogan "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" runs counter to Mike's man code. Little did I know that my private conversations with him would be used for his public humor blogs here.
Let me see if I can return the favor:
I was speaking with a film guy about doing some humorous video sketches and so he draws everything up and asks me if I know anyone to play the guy role. He is looking for someone that is a huge narcissist, loves the spotlight, stinks at fantasy baseball, but actually believes he's good. Two seconds later I was on the horn with Massotto to check his availability.
I figured getting him involved doing this stuff would save me from having to finance his soon-to-be direct to video "Multiplexing" film. I feel badly for Will Tyrer and Nick Cassavetes in Vegas.....they're in for a long weekend with MTM! Don't believe me, just ask Jupinka
And direct to video movies such as "American Pie: Band Camp" make millions because you don't end up getting raped by guys like Tyrer and Cassavettes...not that I won't take their money should they graciously offer it while I'm out there.
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Thanks man. Looking forward to meeting you out in Vegas. I'll keep writing them as long people keep reading them...or until I'm indicted for something related to what I've written.Edwards Kings wrote:Close...so very close!
Nice article!
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
C'mon MTM....I'm sure the statute of limitations has run out on some of your misdeeds.....you just have to guess which ones.
People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
--Rogers Hornsby
--Rogers Hornsby
Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
good reading Mike..BTW, "ur on the clock"
Bill Cleavenger
Big Blue Nation..We don't rebuild, we reload
Big Blue Nation..We don't rebuild, we reload
Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
No doubt there Scott. But you know MtM has a couple projects in the hopper. He recently bought me dinner over 3 nights so he could get me to sit through, er, run his latest movie project by me. I told him run don't walk to Tyrer and Nick C with this one - it's a sure fire winner It's right in the sweet spot - todays hot genre mixing space fantasy and fantasy baseball. A Moneyball/Star Wars adaptation called:la Jolla wrote: I figured getting him involved doing this stuff would save me from having to finance his soon-to-be direct to video "Multiplexing" film. I feel badly for Will Tyrer and Nick Cassavetes in Vegas.....they're in for a long weekend with MTM! Don't believe me, just ask Jupinka
WOOKIE OF THE YEAR
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Okay Glenn, since you referenced it:King of Queens wrote:Metallic blue? Could've sworn it was green.
The defense is WRONG!
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, it has been argued by me, the defense, that two sets of guys met up at the Sac-O-Suds, at the same time, driving identical metallic mint green 1964 Buick Skylark convertibles. Now, can you tell us by what you see in this picture, if the defense's case holds water?
[Lisa examines the picture]
Vinny Gambini: Ms. Vito, please answer the question: does the defense's case hold water?
Mona Lisa Vito: No! The defense is wrong!
Vinny Gambini: Are you sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: I'm positive.
Vinny Gambini: How could you be so sure?
Mona Lisa Vito: Because there is no way that these tire marks were made by a 1964 Buick Skylark convertible. These marks were made by a 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
D.A. Jim Trotter: Objection, Your Honor! Can we clarify to the court whether the witness is stating opinion or fact?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: [to Lisa] This is your opinion, or is it a fact?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a fact!
Vinny Gambini: I find it hard to believe that this kind of information could be ascertained simply by looking at a picture!
Mona Lisa Vito: Would you like me to explain?
Vinny Gambini: I would love to hear this!
Judge Chamberlain Haller: So would I.
Mona Lisa Vito: The car that made these two, equal-length tire marks had positraction. You can't make those marks without positraction, which was not available on the '64 Buick Skylark!
Vinny Gambini: And why not? What is positraction?
Mona Lisa Vito: It's a limited slip differential which distributes power equally to both the right and left tires. The '64 Skylark had a regular differential, which, anyone who's been stuck in the mud in Alabama knows, you step on the gas, one tire spins, the other tire does nothing.
[the jury members nod, with murmurs of "yes," "that's right," etc]
Vinny Gambini: Is that it?
Mona Lisa Vito: No, there's more! You see? When the left tire mark goes up on the curb and the right tire mark stays flat and even? Well, the '64 Skylark had a solid rear axle, so when the left tire would go up on the curb, the right tire would tilt out and ride along its edge. But that didn't happen here. The tire mark stayed flat and even. This car had an independent rear suspension. Now, in the '60's, there were only two other cars made in America that had positraction, and independent rear suspension, and enough power to make these marks. One was the Corvette, which could never be confused with the Buick Skylark. The other had the same body length, height, width, weight, wheel base, and wheel track as the '64 Skylark, and that was the 1963 Pontiac Tempest.
Vinny Gambini: And because both cars were made by GM, were both cars available in metallic mint green paint?
Mona Lisa Vito: They were!
Vinny Gambini: Thank you, Ms. Vito. No more questions. Thank you very, very much.
[kissing her hands]
Vinny Gambini: You've been a lovely, lovely witness.
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
This is true, but you can never be too careful. And this stuff isn't even the worst of it. Stay tuned for more great stories to come.MadCow Sez wrote:C'mon MTM....I'm sure the statute of limitations has run out on some of your misdeeds.....you just have to guess which ones.
-MTM
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Thanks, Bill. Glad you enjoyed it. And I almost logged into the draft room out of reflex when you said that I was on the clock.uky wrote:good reading Mike..BTW, "ur on the clock"
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
You pun-of-a-bitch, Jupinka... I seriously hope Childs is helping you get back on your "A" Game this year in advance of Vegas so you'll perhaps have a shot of finally cashing in the Diamond or a Super.Quahogs wrote:No doubt there Scott. But you know MtM has a couple projects in the hopper. He recently bought me dinner over 3 nights so he could get me to sit through, er, run his latest movie project by me. I told him run don't walk to Tyrer and Nick C with this one - it's a sure fire winner It's right in the sweet spot - todays hot genre mixing space fantasy and fantasy baseball. A Moneyball/Star Wars adaptation called:la Jolla wrote: I figured getting him involved doing this stuff would save me from having to finance his soon-to-be direct to video "Multiplexing" film. I feel badly for Will Tyrer and Nick Cassavetes in Vegas.....they're in for a long weekend with MTM! Don't believe me, just ask Jupinka
WOOKIE OF THE YEAR
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Looking forward to meeting you too!Baseball Furies wrote:Thanks man. Looking forward to meeting you out in Vegas. I'll keep writing them as long people keep reading them...or until I'm indicted for something related to what I've written.Edwards Kings wrote:Close...so very close!
Nice article!
Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
MtM: Never convicted.
Baseball is a slow, boring, complex, cerebral game that doesn't lend itself to histrionics. You 'take in' a baseball game, something odd to say about a football or basketball game, with the clock running and the bodies flying.
Charles Krauthammer
Charles Krauthammer
Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Don't you go worrying about me now ... you just get back to your prep (hey I think your 44th rd pick is up in your latest slow ) or your script Wookie of the Year will be the only thing with a chance to cash this season !
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Listen Jupinka, we all know that you need to compete in these competitions to supplement what's left of the money you make after your wife gives you your allowance. So pipe down before I let the cat outta the bag on your dirty, little secret.Quahogs wrote: Don't you go worrying about me now ... you just get back to your prep (hey I think your 44th rd pick is up in your latest slow ) or your script Wookie of the Year will be the only thing with a chance to cash this season !
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Edwards Kings wrote:Looking forward to meeting you too!Baseball Furies wrote:Thanks man. Looking forward to meeting you out in Vegas. I'll keep writing them as long people keep reading them...or until I'm indicted for something related to what I've written.Edwards Kings wrote:Close...so very close!
Nice article!
Recruiter: Have you ever been convicted of a felony or a misdemeanor? That's robbery, rape, car theft, that sort of thing.
MtM: Never convicted.
LOL! Not that far from the truth, Wayne.
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry
Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Secret, ok you got me there But boy Fleming was right, you leak faster than an old man in depends ! You spill faster than a gaggle of giggling teens.
Here's Nancy Massotto and his gym pal getting ready for an all night gab fast
Here's Nancy Massotto and his gym pal getting ready for an all night gab fast
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Re: "Mouth Musings #4: Running off at the Mouth-Infernal Edi
Quahogs wrote:Secret, ok you got me there But boy Fleming was right, you leak faster than an old man in depends ! You spill faster than a gaggle of giggling teens.
Here's Nancy Massotto and his gym pal getting ready for an all night gab fast
"Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Jupinkaman?
"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." ~Dave Barry