Wish Upon a Star

ToddZ · Post by **ToddZ** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:03 pm

OK, so I've been a little lax lately posting my weekly board essay. As Tony Soprano says, "this is my busy season." I'm actually taking the week off from my day job to what's the word -- um -- prepare, that's it, prepare for the drafts next weekend. For those that are recently coming back to the boards and don't have a clue as to what I am talking about, and for some reason care, do a search on my screenname to check out a short series of essays I prepared for your entertainment purposes.

Speaking of which....

WISH UPON A STAR

So there's this guy entered in the NFBC. In exchange for being able to fly to Vegas, he promises his wife he'll finally clean out the attic, as has been on his "Honey-do" list for ages.

Lo and behold, as he was looking through an old box of baseball cards, he spots an antique vase. So of course he rubs it and you guessed it, out pops a genie who agrees to grant the man a wish.

The man thinks for a second, and decides to ask for the perfect drafting program, one that tells him the ideal pick at each turn and guarantees him winning the grand prize of 100K.

The genie ponders this request and claims what he is asking for is nearly impossible to produce. No one can predict the seasons of over 450 ballplayers and furthermore predict what the man's draft opponents are going to do. It can't be done, let alone program a computer to do it. The genie suggests that the man simply ask for 100K instead, or perhaps another wish altogether.

The man reconsiders and agrees. He reasons he has put a lot of effort into preparing for the draft and thinks he has a good chance for success. Besides, there is something he has always wanted, even more than winning the NFBC.

So he asks the genie to explain women to him. Why does a women say she doesn't want anything special for Valentine's Day when she really does? Why does a woman say it is OK if a man goes out with the guys if it really isn't? The man asks the genie to help him understand women better.

The genie pauses for a second, and then says, "So the NFBC is a 15-team mixed draft, right? What pick do you have?"

sportsbettingman · Post by **sportsbettingman** » Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:44 pm

So True!

Bribe them, bribe them, bribe them!

Nice to meet you Todd...and I wish you luck in Vegas!

VEGAS BABY...VEGAS!!!

4 work days till the fun begins!

~Lance

eddiejag · Post by **eddiejag** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 1:07 am

Thats great stuff, LOL.Im so happy my wife know's this is my passion , and doesnt give me any promblems about flying to Vegas, with march madness, spring break , st patricks day, and the nfbc.She must be crazy.

Quahogs · Post by **Quahogs** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:46 am

heh heh.. thats funny. My 11 year old daughter asked me the other day what I do on the computer all the time ? I went into the similarities of how a real baseball organization is run (like the Yankees) to what I do using the various tools (books, magazines, websites, spreadsheets...) after about 30 seconds I get this faraway stare from her like I get from the wife after about 15 seconds of talking about this stuff... well i got a 3yr old boy too, there's still hope I guess.

Q

Edwards Kings · Post by **Edwards Kings** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:51 am

Great blog! I use the same tactic with my wife that I use when I want to play golf. I wake her up at 5:30 in the morning and ask her "Golf course or intercourse!" Her reply is always the same..."Don't forget to wear your sweater!"

Hangtown · Post by **Hangtown** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:15 am

Laughed my assets off, great blog Todd!!

So he asks the genie to explain women to him. Why does a women say she doesn't want anything special for Valentine's Day when she really does? Why does a woman say it is OK if a man goes out with the guys if it really isn't? The man asks the genie to help him understand women better. My wife said she didn't want anything for her 50th. I didn't want to draw attention to, well, it was her 50th... She cried for days!

I use the same tactic with my wife that I use when I want to play golf. I wake her up at 5:30 in the morning and ask her "Golf course or intercourse!" Her reply is always the same..."Don't forget to wear your sweater!"

So, Then I made my wife read your blog and replies so she'd understand my mentality.

Her comment to me was... isn't it a little warm for a sweater?

ToddZ · Post by **ToddZ** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:54 pm

Hey Lance, thanks again for the beers -- man law says beer debts are repaid in beers so I will make good in Vegas.

RichV · Post by **RichV** » Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:38 pm

Good story Todd. The Golf course/intercourse story reminds me of another one.

Every Saturday morning, 5:30 AM sharp, this husband would kiss his wife on the cheek, and take off for the golf course. One particular Saturday, the weather was horrible. Still, as usual, he dressed and headed to the course. On his way, he decided it was just too cold and wet, and he'd be much happier snuggled up in a warm bed with his wife. So he goes back home, undresses, and climbs into bed. He snuggles up close behind his wife with a "lets fool around hug", and she responds with a soft moan.. He says "Wow, it's nasy, cold and wet outside". His wife, without even turning around replies, "Yeah, can you believe my husband's out playing golf in this weather?"