Wish Upon a Star
Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 7:03 pm
OK, so I've been a little lax lately posting my weekly board essay. As Tony Soprano says, "this is my busy season." I'm actually taking the week off from my day job to what's the word -- um -- prepare, that's it, prepare for the drafts next weekend. For those that are recently coming back to the boards and don't have a clue as to what I am talking about, and for some reason care, do a search on my screenname to check out a short series of essays I prepared for your entertainment purposes.
Speaking of which....
WISH UPON A STAR
So there's this guy entered in the NFBC. In exchange for being able to fly to Vegas, he promises his wife he'll finally clean out the attic, as has been on his "Honey-do" list for ages.
Lo and behold, as he was looking through an old box of baseball cards, he spots an antique vase. So of course he rubs it and you guessed it, out pops a genie who agrees to grant the man a wish.
The man thinks for a second, and decides to ask for the perfect drafting program, one that tells him the ideal pick at each turn and guarantees him winning the grand prize of 100K.
The genie ponders this request and claims what he is asking for is nearly impossible to produce. No one can predict the seasons of over 450 ballplayers and furthermore predict what the man's draft opponents are going to do. It can't be done, let alone program a computer to do it. The genie suggests that the man simply ask for 100K instead, or perhaps another wish altogether.
The man reconsiders and agrees. He reasons he has put a lot of effort into preparing for the draft and thinks he has a good chance for success. Besides, there is something he has always wanted, even more than winning the NFBC.
So he asks the genie to explain women to him. Why does a women say she doesn't want anything special for Valentine's Day when she really does? Why does a woman say it is OK if a man goes out with the guys if it really isn't? The man asks the genie to help him understand women better.
The genie pauses for a second, and then says, "So the NFBC is a 15-team mixed draft, right? What pick do you have?"
Speaking of which....
WISH UPON A STAR
So there's this guy entered in the NFBC. In exchange for being able to fly to Vegas, he promises his wife he'll finally clean out the attic, as has been on his "Honey-do" list for ages.
Lo and behold, as he was looking through an old box of baseball cards, he spots an antique vase. So of course he rubs it and you guessed it, out pops a genie who agrees to grant the man a wish.
The man thinks for a second, and decides to ask for the perfect drafting program, one that tells him the ideal pick at each turn and guarantees him winning the grand prize of 100K.
The genie ponders this request and claims what he is asking for is nearly impossible to produce. No one can predict the seasons of over 450 ballplayers and furthermore predict what the man's draft opponents are going to do. It can't be done, let alone program a computer to do it. The genie suggests that the man simply ask for 100K instead, or perhaps another wish altogether.
The man reconsiders and agrees. He reasons he has put a lot of effort into preparing for the draft and thinks he has a good chance for success. Besides, there is something he has always wanted, even more than winning the NFBC.
So he asks the genie to explain women to him. Why does a women say she doesn't want anything special for Valentine's Day when she really does? Why does a woman say it is OK if a man goes out with the guys if it really isn't? The man asks the genie to help him understand women better.
The genie pauses for a second, and then says, "So the NFBC is a 15-team mixed draft, right? What pick do you have?"
