Top 10 - Steroids

DOUGHBOYS · Post by **DOUGHBOYS** » Tue May 12, 2009 9:43 am

I know, I know...we are all sick to death of the subject. I don't want to hear one more opinion about who is or who is not taking steroids.

So to poke a little fun at steroids in general, here is a list of baseball people, who, if they aren't taking steroids, they should be:

10. Chad Moeller- That skinny sombitch is a catcher? Chad should have meat and potatoe'd up before hitting the bigs. Mike Mussina asked him to squat to the side once so he could see him!

9. Umpires- Remember the umps that would bellow out strikes and balls and be more emphatic? Now its like they're settling down for a nap. The dance for strike three has been replaced with the starting the lawn mower motion.

8. Hunter Pence- I still don't know how that skinny kid hits home runs. He could do the 20 pound steroid weight gain and nobody would notice. The guy has to run around in the shower to get wet.

7. Chipper Jones- If anybody, save Griffey Jr, needs steroids more it would be Chipper. This guy invented the words "nicked up" and has made drug companies rich with his use of cortisone. If you're clean, Chipper, a big salute. If not, you'll be a wreck at 50.

6. Andruw Jones - At this point, what the heck?

5. Craig Counsell - The Dick Clark of baseball. This guy still looks like a rookie! C'mon Craig, be like the rest of us, get a bald spot, get some hair on your face or even a line.

4. The Philly Phanatic - Purely for entertainment reasons.

3. One of the Milwaukee Wieners - I want to see one of these guys busting it out to the field to take a couple of grondballs before re-entering the race and scorching those other wieners

2. Ballgirls and boys. PUHLEEESE! You would think one of the pre-requisites for this job would be to catch some ground balls. Obviously in the interview for the job, management asked them out of the blue "Quick! How fast can you pick up that chair you're sitting on?"

The guy in SF has to be excluded, even part of a steroid would give him a massive coronary.

1. Adam Dunn, Ryan Howard - Just for my own kicks. I want to see how far a batted ball can be hit by a human being.

Again, this was just for fun.

I did think about some players needing steroids in certain body parts, such as Juan Pierre and Johnny Damon's arm's, Bengie Molina and Jim Thome's legs, Lastings Milledge head.

[ May 13, 2009, 01:06 PM: Message edited by: DOUGHBOYS ]

Walla Walla · Post by **Walla Walla** » Wed May 13, 2009 6:43 am

It's hard but I'll admit to using when I won my last two auctions. I thought my wife was shooting me with B-12. This year I came clean. I'm losing badly.

Thunder · Post by **Thunder** » Wed May 13, 2009 7:04 am

jamie moyer

john smoltz

tom glavine

randy johnson

with a little help, they could go on till their 60

Raskol · Post by **Raskol** » Thu May 14, 2009 6:11 am

Originally posted by Kentucky Reign:

jamie moyer

john smoltz

tom glavine

randy johnson

with a little help, they could go on till their 60 No love for Wakefield? He has the option for perpetual one-year contracts....

sportsbettingman · Post by **sportsbettingman** » Fri May 15, 2009 5:11 am

Seems to me ol Bud and the players union don't even want HCG fully out of MLB...

"HCG is typically taken by steroid users at the end of a cycle. As the Times reports, "MLB officials had begun the process of disciplining Ramirez for a positive drug test when they obtained his medical records that contained a prescription for HCG. At that point he was suspended for 'just cause' based on 'non-analytical evidence' and for which a 'therapeutic use' exemption was available but never requested."

[ May 15, 2009, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: sportsbettingman ]