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If you remember, Stuff is information, Junk is opinion. There is a lot of junk out there, I'm just adding to the landfill



Last week or so, we did Raffy Furcal. If you're a slo drafter and have Furcal on your team, go back and look at the thread to learn some harsh junk.



Closers. They are a Kia, or like going to the dentist. Only drafting them because we have to, for a balanced team. Not sexy, but the right thing to do.



Joakim Soria is one of the few players in baseball, where after I say his name, I wonder if I got either one right.



Soria, along with Zack Greinke and Billy Butler, have been the only good things that have come from the Royals during the last three years. His numbers have been impeccable. Never has he had an ERA above 2.50, never has he had a WHIP above 1.13. That, and 72 saves during the last two years.



Soria has been one of the best closers in baseball during the last three years. My junk is that it ends this year.



Kansas City is well on their way to losing over 100 games before they take a step on the field. Dudley Moore, would have been a more suitable GM than Dayton Moore. The Royals could have the worst fielding team in baseball history when the 2010 season begins. One of the Royals best pitchers will be playing center field for them.



Alright, enough about the Royals. How does it all effect Soria?

First, lets be kind and say the Royals finish 60-102. Of those 60 wins, they should win 25 by more than three runs or have some last inning heroics rendering a save void. That leaves a maximum of 35 save opportuities.



Trey Hillman is the Manager. Curly, to Moore's Moe. Some of the lineups and pitching changes he made last year were right out of a Geico commercial.



Last April, Soria had a shoulder problem. Kansas City's first impulse was to hide it. They didn't throw Soria for nine days. Soria notched a save, but told them there was still soreness. Instead of putting Soria on the disabled list, they waited 10 more days. Incredibly, he pitched 1 2/3 innings in a 1-0 win and followed that up the next day with another save.



Still the shoulder didn't feel right. The Royals, unheeding, ran him out there four days later. He got the save but gave up a run and threw 29 pitches in the one inning of work. Three days later he is dl'ed for a month.



So, in the end, we have a beautiful reliever with a ceiling of 35 saves with management that still shops at Circuit City and wonders where everybody has gone.



Shoulder problems usually persist in baseball. I like Soria, I really do, but there are just too many things going on around him that will ultimately result in collateral damage.



We have to take closers. But, knock Soria down a notch or two on lists. Let somebody else handle the grief.

Dough, what do you have against the Royals? I would venture a guess that 85% of your posts include a shot at them. I'm just curious.

Bryan, I think it seems like 85% because I seldom have anything good to say about them. Guess I'll quit piling on them ...



Well, at least after this post so I can explain myself.



To me, a Major League franchise is a responsibility. A responsibility to every person in that metropolitan area and especially to baseball fans in that area, but to baseball fans everywhere.



Over the last three years, Royals ownership has not lived up to their responsibilities. Attendance at Royals games actually rose last year. One of the few venues where more tickets were sold. Imagine the draw, if they put a good product on the field!



The Royals four highest paid players are Jose Guillen, Gil Meche, Jason Kendall, and Kyle Farnsworth. Giving the Royals a pass on Guillen and Meche is alright, those deals were made when a lot of clubs were making stupid deals, sort of like our housing market.



But then we have Jason Kendall, a catcher who is done, while getting rid of two younger catchers at smaller salaries? And giving Kendall FIVE million! Damon will probably end up with five million. Crazy.



The Farnsworth signing last year was the signal to all in baseball that Dayton Moore has as much business being a GM, as Gekko does of taking over for Oprah. With that signal, other GM's in baseball are like pirahna, magically, the Royals end up with the worst player in baseball (my junk), Yuni Betancourt.



The Royals are not rebuilding. They're not reloading. They are simply taking shots in the dark and should be stopped.



Losing teams are fine if they have a direction. I harped on the Pirates last year, but I think they are making small moves now that are helping themselves.



Firing Moore and Hillman is the only remedy for the Royals. Short of that, Royals ownership are shirking their civic responsibilities and only lining pockets through faithful fans.

Excellent point. What gives Doughboys? A couple possible explanations:



1. Failed to own Zack Greinke on any of his teams last year.



2. The Kansas City Athletics were his favorite team when he was in College and he has been unable to fully embrace the Royals.



3. Lost his 1979 home league by 1/2 point and he was bitter that the team he lost to only drafted Willie Wilson(83 swipes) for speed and won the stolen base category, a decisive category for him.



4. Doughboys had money on the Cardinals to win the '85 series. Dan still can't say the name Don Denkinger without grabbing his junk and cursing.



5. He owned Brett Saberhagen in the even years during the 80's.

Originally posted by Joe Sambito:

Excellent point. What gives Doughboys? A couple possible explanations:



1. Failed to own Zack Greinke on any of his teams last year.



2. The Kansas City Athletics were his favorite team when he was in College and he has been unable to fully embrace the Royals.



3. Lost his 1979 home league by 1/2 point and he was bitter that the team he lost to only drafted Willie Wilson(83 swipes) for speed and won the stolen base category, a decisive category for him.



4. Doughboys had money on the Cardinals to win the '85 series. Dan still can't say the name Don Denkinger without grabbing his junk and cursing.



5. He owned Brett Saberhagen in the even years during the 80's.



Or, I'm still mad that the Kansas City Athletics moved to Oakland and never forgave them!

Hillarious Joe!!



It's cool Dan, just was curious. As bad as they are run, I can think of 3-4 clubs that are run as poorly if not more poorly(looking at you Mutts in particular).

Holy Cow!



Give me a pitchfork and a double breasted suit and my last post sounds like Oliver Wendall Douglass with America, the beautiful in the background.

Dough,



I missed your post on Furcal. Can you paste that into this thread?

Originally posted by NorCalAtlFan:

Hillarious Joe!!



It's cool Dan, just was curious. As bad as they are run, I can think of 3-4 clubs that are run as poorly if not more poorly(looking at you Mutts in particular). Agree on the Mess.



I think Moore and Minaya are having a pissing contest with their zippers up.

To Uncle Dough...KC Royals #1 fan!



Here's part of an article from Joe Posnanski that I'm pretty sure you will love...





"...My point here is that the Nets are just not funny. Oh, every so often they are funny. They had the motivational speaker who stuck needles in his face (more on that in the story). That was funny. But generally … not funny.



The Kansas City Royals, on the other hand, are funny. That’s their curse. They have been funny for as long as I’ve been around them. I remember a few years ago when they brought a professional softball pitcher in for a tryout — a real, live tryout — and they spent a good solid 10 or 15 minutes arguing about whether or not his delivery was a balk. In many ways, that has been the Kansas City Royals for more than a decade. It isn’t just that they brought in a softball pitcher. They actually spent time arguing about him.



I can go through the list again of classic Kansas City Royals moments, but by now I’m sure you could pass the quiz:



1. Name the outfielder who climbed the wall while the ball landed on the warning track in front of him and then bounced over his head for a ground rule double.



2. Name the two outfielders who ran toward the dugout while a fly ball landed behind them.



3. Name the manager who came to camp promising to “smile more,” thus inspiring his players to create a smiley chart for him.



4. Name the manager who has been known to ride around the warning track on a unicycle before games.



5. Name the manager who, in order to inspire his team, jumped into the shower with his clothes on.



6. Name the manager who said: “Things can always get worse.”



7. Name the player who got picked off after falling off first base.



8. Name the player who dropped a fly ball on a sunny day because he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, and who wasn’t wearing sunglasses because “they had not arrived yet.”



9. Name the player who got hit in the face with a fly ball on a sunny day because he wasn’t wearing his sunglasses, and who was seen wearing sunglasses that night on plane ride home.



10. Name the player who faced home plate on a relay throw and got hit in the back.



11. Name the player who on a bunt threw the ball into a teammate’s face.



12. Name the player who went so long between walks that when he finally did walk they shot off fireworks at the stadium.



13. Name the pitcher who during a bad stretch complained that he could not even get a “no-decision.”



14. Name the player who shot a reporter with a pellet gun in the clubhouse.



15. Name the pitcher nobody had ever heard of who was called up from Class AA to pitch against New York at Yankee Stadium and was released two weeks later. He never pitched another game in the big leagues.



And so on. I’m only stopping at 15 because … you have to stop somewhere. This could be a 100-question test. A 500-question test. The Royals aren’t just the worst team in baseball over the last decade, they have been comically bad. They have been Major League bad. They, unlike these New Jersey Nets, have always found ways to make their losing amusing … that would be the lyrical name of their style of ball. Amusing Losing.



Royals general manager Dayton Moore despises this Royals’ vaudeville reputation … and you cannot blame him. He has railed against it … and you applaud him for that. I would say at least 50% of Dayton’s effort since taking over as Royals GM has been trying to make the Royals a professional organization. He has demanded that his employees wear ties on game days. He has instituted a Royals Fan Fest and led the charge to bring back the Royals banquet. He has hired many respected people, beefed up the Royals scouting department, joined forces with owner David Glass to make the Royals actual players in the draft and the international market. There is no question that the Royals organization has a much better reputation around the game now. They seem to be doing many good things.



Trouble is, the work hasn’t paid off yet. And while everyone waits for the minor league system to bear fruit and for the big investment into the International market to deliver a couple of big time players to Kansas City, Dayton and the Royals have not seemed especially shrewd with the Major League roster. Last year’s Royals team was about as bad as any of the teams before. Worse in some ways. And the comedy bits keep on coming. Jose Guillen … yeah, there’s a pretty good chance he will be added to the quiz someday soon. Yuni Betancourt … he’s a definite quiz candidate. Kyle Farnsworth. And so on.



And then there’s this. It seems that a man named John Coomer is suing the Royals because … because — you would SWEAR this was an Onion story — because Royals lion mascot Sluggerrr hit him in the eye with a hot dog.



Yeah. Take a minute.



This is a real thing. The suit was filed in Jackson County Circuit Court … Coomer says that Sluggerrr — three Rs — was shooting hot dogs out of his hot dog gun like he does every game. And then, as he often does, he put the gun down and started just firing hot dogs into the crowd. Sluggerrr the lion apparently was trying to throw a hot dog behind his back* when — according to the lawsuit — he lost control of it and instead it flipping it into the crowd, he rifled it right into Coomer’s face, specifically his left eye. Coomer says this caused a detached retina, and he has twice had surgery, and his eyesight is still not back to normal. The Royals refuse comment.



*Did it HAVE to be a behind-the-back-throw? Was the image not ridiculous enough already?



My feeling about this story is really two-fold.



One, if the facts of this case prove true … what a TERRIBLE day at the ballgame. Think about it from that perspective for just one moment. You come to the yard to watch the Royals, which is rough enough. The mascot’s out there doing his hot dog throw, you’re not even paying attention, and he ends up throwing a hot dog right into your eye and you detach your retina. Sure, it’s a joke for everyone else. Sure, when your doctor says, “How did this happen,” you have to say “An eight-foot lion threw a hot dog into my face at a ballgame.” But if that’s YOU … man, that’s horrible. Absolutely, my first reaction was the comedy of the moment (and my second, third, fourth and fifth reaction too), but my sixth reaction is that if this is really what happened, then, man, I could not feel worse for that poor guy.



Two, yeah, the Royals really are getting sued because their mascot threw a hot dog into somebody’s eye. They can’t help it. They just can’t help it.



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Quiz answers: 1. Kerry Robinson; 2. Terrence Long and Chip Ambres; 3. Tony Muser; 4. Trey Hillman; 5. Tony Pena; 6. Buddy Bell; 7. Desi Relaford; 8. Tony Pena Jr.; 9. Esteban German; 10. Ken Harvey; 11. Ken Harvey again — he deserves at least two mentions. He also was the Royals All-Star in 2004; 12. Mark Quinn; 13. Darrell May; 14. Emil Brown; 15. Eduardo Villacis.

Great Stuff, Lance!



The Royals have really outdone themselves this year though!

They have enough 'talent' this year to fill more columns like this in the future as well.



By the way, the Royals fired their mascot and are looking for a replacement. I would apply on my way to St. Louis this year, but they don't want to see a portly lion and I don't want to see the Royals!

For the third year in a row, I'll be leading a flag detail on the field at opening day at Kaufman Stadium. Maybe I need to be wearing my battle rattle for safety.