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This morning, while looking at my two teams and checking out their stats on the "Team Stat" page, I discovered the "On Pace" button.  Two weeks into the season it was good for a few laughs.  And tears.



In my Main Event team, my home run hitters, Adrian Gonzalez and Mike Stanton are on a pace to hit 14 home runs.  Not 14 each.  14 home runs collectively.



It gets worse.  My worst hitter is Magglio Ordonez.  He is on pace to hit .209 with no home runs, no RBIs and no steals.  At least he on pace to score a whole 12 runs! yuck!



I wonder how many home runs that fellow Tulowitski is on pace to hit.  That same Tulowitski I passed on in the draft.



Thankfully, my pitchers are doing much better than my hitters.  My ace is Jered Weaver, who is pace to strike out 386 batters and win 50 games.  



Please don't ask how any starting pitcher could be on pace to win 50 games.  With my hitters doing as poorly as the are right now, I need Weaver to be on pace to win 50.



Over in my Slow Draft, I own both the fleet-footed Howie Kendrick and the power-hitting Aaron Hill.



The fleet-footed Howie Kendrick is on pace to hit 50 home runs.  And steal 0 bases.



The power-hitting Aaron Hill is on pace to hit 0 home runs.  And steal 50 bases.



Aaron Hill's stats in among themselves are a conundrum.



He is on pace to drive in 100 with no home runs.



He also is on pace to score only 25 runs while swiping 50 bases.



Go figure.

Doughboys going to love this thread...

I knew it was too good to last.....



In high school, a good looking kid can be 'on pace' to sleep with 10 girls a year....

He'll also be 'on pace' to believe it'll last forever...



At 20, Aroldis Chapman was throwing the ball 100 mph....

He's 'on pace ' to throw 200 mph at 40.....



At 18, Keith Richards was 'on pace' to try every drug known to man.....

Actually out pacing the 'on pace', he is now waiting on the drug manufacturers....



Early in his career, Charlie Sheen was an arrogant, silver spoon fed, selfish punk with a hit show....

Now, he is 'on pace' to just be an arrogant, silver spoon fed, selfish punk.



At 34, Tiger Woods was the favorite at every golf tourney, and was on pace to bed 100's of women in wedlock.....

At 35, he has lost his number one ranking, has not won a tourney, and is on pace to bed zero women in wedlock....



DOUGHBOYS is on pace for way too many posts....

Especially if there are more 'on pace' threads....

Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:

I knew it was too good to last.....



At 18, Keith Richards was 'on pace' to try every drug known to man.....

Actually out pacing the 'on pace', he is now waiting on the drug manufacturers....

On April 1st, Adrian Gonzalez was on pace to steal 162 bases. You can see Adrian there, can't you, waving his 131st stolen base in the air? That reminds me: one of the great regrets of my life is that I've never seen a Prince Fielder stolen base. My theory is that he is only successful because when the second baseman sees him coming, he turns and starts running toward third.



I'm sure you can catch it on video somewhere, but I am afraid that seeing it won't be nearly as much fun as imagining it. For starters, he probably doesn't go in head first...

Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:





In high school, a good looking kid can be 'on pace' to sleep with 10 girls a year....

He'll also be 'on pace' to believe it'll last forever...



At risk of totally highjacking the thread, here is that same "kid" today still trying to get back "on pace"...

stud

I'm loving the "Ambrosius-style" moustache. lmao Just proving that the 'tache is so 70's-ish!!!

Jack, the Ambrostache was not the 1st clue (for me anyway) that the gentlemen in that pic was from the 70's era



Those are some groovy duds man

Yesterday morning, I start this thread.



Then I leave for the day and go out and buy a new boat.



This morning, I come back to this thread.  It is nice to start the day with a very hearty laugh.



It is also nice to know that by the end of the season I will be the proud owner of eleven more new boats!



But back to the original subject at hand.  



After catching up on how my teams did yesterday, I do feel compelled to report in on my Slow Draft's Team Stats.



I see that Howie Kendrick has hit another home run.  He is now on pace to hit 58 this year.  This still means absoulutely nothing to me, other than it is a nice spingtime abberation for my team.



I see also that Aaron Hill has stolen another base.  He is now on pace to steal 58 stolen bases on the year.  At first, this means absolutely nothing to me, other than it is a nice springtime abberation for my team.  



Aaron Hill's stolen bases continue to mean nothing to me until I look down and see what Travis Snider is doing this year.



Hit me over the head once, I may not notice...twice I begin to understand.



Travis Snider stole two bases yesterday.  He is now also on pace to steal 58 bases this year.   Combined, Aaron Hill (5 SBs) and Travis Snider (5 SBs) are the main reason my Slow Draft team is currently leading the friggin' universe with 32 SBs.



Hill and Snider have a lot in common, besides being on my Slow Draft team.



They both have career highs of 6 stolen bases in a season.



They both play for the Toronto Blue Jays.



Up until this spring, they both played for Cito Gaston.  Using StatsPass, it is easy to see that last year the Blue Jays stole a total of 58 bases with a success rate of 74%.



This year they play for John Farrell.  The Blue Jays are on pace to steal 220 bases.  Is this sustainable?  Maybe, considering that that their SB success rate is now 83%.  And Raj Davis has been out for most of the year.



Will Hill and Snider steal 58 bases this year?  Of course not.  Could they more than triple their career best of 6?  Absolutely.  I'd love it if they both turned into 20/20 guys this year.



Did I see this coming?  No.  If I had, I wouldn't have drafted both Bourn and Crisp onto my Slow Draft team as well, and I would not be leading the friggin universe in SBs.  



It is kind of fun though, and I'm glad that even a blind squirrel gets an acorn now and then.



It also makes me wonder if there are any other meaningful "On Pace" stats hidden under the clutter of the meaningless ones.



[ April 17, 2011, 09:17 AM: Message edited by: Rainiers ]