Johnny Dickshot

[DOUGHBOYS]

Anthony Wiener.

Can this guy make it any easier for a late night guy to get a laugh?

Even novices are trying jokes tied to his name.

A guy at the softball park had five of them for me last night. Each as if it came from one of the old jokes on 'Two and a Half Men'. You know, tired sex jokes that were funny in high school, but then we had to go and grow up .

My friend asked me which of the five I liked the best.

I told him that that was like picking out a best Donny Osmond song.



It did get me to wondering as to what name in baseball was good for instant jokes.

The names today hold little promise. Sure, there is Dickey and Leake, and others that provide a little innuendo, but not much else.



This got me cruising through the Baseball Encyclopedia. By the way, my wife scolds me because my Baseball Encyclopedia is worn, while a 35 year old Bible lies pristine. I tell her there is no sense in reading the Bible, God batted .1000 and had a 0.00 E.R.A. , and he did it all without throwing a slider.



Anyway, according to Baseball Encyclopedia, there has never been a 'Wiener' in baseball.

The name, 'Wiener'.

There have been wieners, of that, I'm sure.

Only one ballplayer had a name starting with Fuc. His name was Charlie Fuchs.

Dull enough.



So, here is what I got.

Johnny Dickshot.

Yes, there was a Johnny Dickshot.

Racing has Dick Trickle.

Baseball has Johnny Dickshot.

Dickshot played a little bit before the war, then during the war a few years later, when the player pool was thinned because of the war.



You would think with a name like Johnny Dickshot that he would be a suave, model type.

Unfairly, it was just the opposite.

Johnny was saddled with the nickname (like a guy named Johnny Dickshot needs a nickname, right?), Ugly.



Johnny would even refer to himself as the ugliest ballplayer in the Majors.

Ugly Dickshot.

I have promised myself that I will say that name to three different people at work tonight.

Just to see the looks on their faces.

I'll tell them to google it.

Although, I know they won't for fear of what they'll see on their screens.



Dickshot opened a bar after retiring from baseball. Located in Waukegan, it was called 'The Dugout'.

Patrons, male and female, could brag that they drank a shot from Dickshot.

Ugly.

But it went down smoothe.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Johnny succombed in 1997.

Leaving four daughters and one son to carry on the Dickshot name.

Next time you hear an Anthony Wiener joke, which could be within the next minute, give a thought to Johnny Dickshot. And smile.



[ June 14, 2011, 05:32 PM: Message edited by: DOUGHBOYS ]

[TOXIC ASSETS]

Only name I can recall that is close to this one is Dick Pole who pitched in the 70's.

[GoodnGodless]

On the opposite end so to speak we have Pujols.

[GoodnGodless]

And what about A-Rod. Come to think of it there is always the chance that A-Rod could slide into Pujols in the Fall Classic.

[DOUGHBOYS]

Rusty Kuntz was brought up in a PM as well.

Just me maybe, but none of those names hold a candle to Johnny Dickshot.