Top 10 List of Unneeded Fantasy Jargon

DOUGHBOYS
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Top 10 List of Unneeded Fantasy Jargon

Post by DOUGHBOYS » Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:59 am

Ok. Everybody is on their highs. They each know that it'll be THEIR team that is going to be the overall winner. Of course 389 of us will be wrong.

To kill a little time before real baseball starts, I've devised a continual top 10 of bad jargon that takes us from the beginning of our study into the beginning of our season.



1. SLEEPER. I just cringed. When I was a kid Rip Van Winkle was a sleeper. The word means little anymore. But that word is sure to be in every magazine countless times. But after dreaming of our number one picks, we delve into lesser known players looking for a sleeper that has....

2. UPSIDE. I much prefer Shandler's pros and cons to magazines listings of upside. Hardly anybody talks about the downside. I do know that no hill or mountain has all upside, its the same with players. Of course, if you do hit on that player with ALL upside, he is having his....

3. BREAKOUT YEAR. I haven't quite figured out breakout year. Does that mean that the player like a McLouth or Quentin or Ludwick will continue to have great years once they've "broken out" or does it mean they will probably never come near those numbers again. Breakout year hopes are usually given to....

4. PROSPECTS. I call them suspects. For every Braun or Longoria, there are a hundred Wily Mo Pena's and Jayson Nix's. But we tend to like these guys because we don't want to miss the boat if Elvis Andrus turns from PROSPECT Elvis Andrus to Jose Reyes, but we know in our heart of hearts that he'll probably be Cesar Izturis. Either way he'll be ...

5. UNDERVALUED,OVERVALUED. I got Longoria with the 27th pick in my draft. I like Longoria this year. Instead of being elated, my first thoughts were why did Longoria pass by so many other drafters? In my mind, they had UNDERVALUED him. But upon further review, each one of these players may have been looking for something different, be it position, speed, or average. I may have gotten Longoria at a bargain, but players with better numbers were taken later, and we all know that....

6. NUMBERS DON'T LIE. What a load. Mark Twain popularized the slogan, "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. Smart man, that Twain. We're geting ready for the draft and Mr. Common Guy knows that Shandler had Joba as the number one pitcher. Great numbers, over a strikeout an inning, that does it, the average player goes to bed with thoughts of getting Joba. After he is rostered, he'll realize that Joba's innings will max out at 150 and that if Rivera hits the injured list or Joba even has a hiccup in his arm that he will be right back in the bullpen. That is just one case, Morneau's doubles to homers, Ludwicks average...they will all be scrutinized before, during, and after the draft with.....

7. PROJECTIONS. It's replaced sleeper as my most unfavorite word. ANYBODY can make projections. Hell, if you don't like how your projections came out, you can even change them to feel better about your team. The draft is just the base of your team. 30 Guys on your roster and 15 of them probably won't be there by year's end. I'd like to see projections on who will stay on the roster for the whole year :D . I laugh when I see the "I have 280 hr's and 150 sb's", uh...no..., you have zero, just like me. A lot of the projectionist (that used to be a job at movie theatres before computerization) go on the Boards and ask to....

8. RATE MY TEAM. Boring. At this stage, we should be looking into our own leagues and seeing who to beat. But it is tough because the league hasn't started yet and so far nobody has posted a better team than the one you drafted. But, now the season has started and your team is doing well. Elvis Andrus has stolen two bases, he is....

9. ON PACE TO....Ugh. The first few weeks of the year, we hear it, and some posters believe that the pace will be kept up :rolleyes: I won $20 from a friend who thought Josh Hamilton would break the rbi record last year. It was mid year, he was looking great and still came up 60 rbi short at the end of the year. Sufficith to say, it's a long season and the ON PACE TO, will be followed shortly by....

10. INJURIES ARE KILLING ME. Believe me, you care, but unless you have a relative playing in the NFBC, nobody else will. Some get hit with clusters of injuries that are just devastating, some lesser, and can overcome them. Either way, everybody has problems. INJURIES ARE KILLING ME is akin to 80 year old Aunt Ruth speaking of her health problems.



So there it is, and the only sure thing....damn, I should have added SURE THING, is that all of these terms will be used over and over again in the future. Good luck to all. Luck is the factor that no projectionist can evaluate.



[ March 24, 2009, 05:51 PM: Message edited by: DOUGHBOYS ]
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Ryan C
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Top 10 List of Unneeded Fantasy Jargon

Post by Ryan C » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:17 am

3. BREAKOUT YEAR. I haven't quite figured out breakout year. Does that mean that the player like a McLouth or Quentin or Ludwick will continue to have great years once they've "broken out" or does it mean they will probably never come near those numbers again. Dan - I think "Breakout Year" means that the player will continue to have good/great years. The phrase for the guy who never again reaches those heights is the term/phrase you forgot to include:



CAREER YEAR!!!



Otherwise - fun stuff ;)
Mastersball

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Post by Quahogs » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:21 am

Love it Doughie ! The thing is .. without these words none of us would be able to complete a sentence talking to each other.



You need to rename it... The Fantasaurus Lexicon. And keep a running file !



For better or for worse this is our language doughie. Like when a teenager continually says like. Like yah know ? Good luck getting them to break the habit. Such is us.



[ March 24, 2009, 12:22 PM: Message edited by: Quahogs ]

Gordon Gekko II
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Post by Gordon Gekko II » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:32 am

pm box full dough :D

DOUGHBOYS
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Post by DOUGHBOYS » Tue Mar 24, 2009 6:38 am

Originally posted by Gordon Gekko II:

pm box full dough :D Fixed!
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Edwards Kings
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Post by Edwards Kings » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:01 am

It is a sure thing that Dan Kenyon’s wit, with unlimited upside, is having a breakout year. My projections point to the fact he is on pace to vastly improve is undervalued prospects as the Number One Poster on these boards and we all know numbers don’t lie. It is almost time for Dan’s naptime, which makes him a real sleeper, but his rest cannot be overvalued so he can give us more of this kind of content. Because I had to sit next to a low orbiting moon all the way back to Atlanta, my injuries are killing me, but when he wakes up, do you think he will rate my team?
Baseball is a slow, boring, complex, cerebral game that doesn't lend itself to histrionics. You 'take in' a baseball game, something odd to say about a football or basketball game, with the clock running and the bodies flying.
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Post by Bullgod » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:09 am

Very funny and very true! Truth makes something funny about 99% of the time. Doughboys I think your comedic value has a lot of UPSIDE and I'm PROJECTING a BREAKOUT year for your comedy. Some folks think you're a SLEEPER this season but NUMBERS DON'T LIE you are on PACE for 20-25 funny posts this year!!!
Pat Sorge

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KJ Duke
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Post by KJ Duke » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:21 am

New jargon for Dan.



1. SLEEPER. Undead.

2. UPSIDE. Positive skew.

3. BREAKOUT YEAR. Lucky year.

4. PROSPECTS. Prospectives. (Just sounds less certain).

5. UNDERVALUED,OVERVALUED. Jupinka,Sinka'

6. NUMBERS DON'T LIE. Assumptions are distorting your outlook.

7. PROJECTIONS. My computer says ...

8. RATE MY TEAM. Lay my odds.

9. ON PACE TO ... In a world with no gravity ...

10. INJURIES ARE KILLING ME. I got hammied.



[ March 24, 2009, 01:27 PM: Message edited by: KJ Duke ]

JohnZ
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Post by JohnZ » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:26 am

Originally posted by Quahogs:

Love it Doughie ! The thing is .. without these words none of us would be able to complete a sentence talking to each other.



You need to rename it... The Fantasaurus Lexicon. And keep a running file !



For better or for worse this is our language doughie. Like when a teenager continually says like. Like yah know ? Good luck getting them to break the habit. Such is us. Just don't call it "Fanalytic Lexicon"

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Quahogs
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Post by Quahogs » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:31 am





that gives me an idea... do you think I can sell her on becoming Minka Jupinka ? Anyone have her number ?

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Post by bjoak » Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:17 am

It looks like 'curmudgeon' is making it's way into the fantasy lexicon. ;)
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Post by Dub » Tue Mar 24, 2009 8:22 am

great read- very funny.
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DOUGHBOYS
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Post by DOUGHBOYS » Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:47 am

Originally posted by KJ Duke:

New jargon for Dan.



1. SLEEPER. Undead.

2. UPSIDE. Positive skew.

3. BREAKOUT YEAR. Lucky year.

4. PROSPECTS. Prospectives. (Just sounds less certain).

5. UNDERVALUED,OVERVALUED. Jupinka,Sinka'

6. NUMBERS DON'T LIE. Assumptions are distorting your outlook.

7. PROJECTIONS. My computer says ...

8. RATE MY TEAM. Lay my odds.

9. ON PACE TO ... In a world with no gravity ...

10. INJURIES ARE KILLING ME. I got hammied. I like those, Kevin.

By the way, I met KJ for the first time this past draft. I was thinking stock analyst, small fry. In my mind I was thinking of rolling him up and dribbling him around the draft room like a basketball. :D

Turns out the sonuvabitch is a big guy who looks like he could post up just about anybody in the room. Destroyed my stereotyped thoughts.



A few other new terms. "Crusty Dusty". This is the drafter who leans heavily on experience. If the 7th round comes down to Ludwick or Ordonez, it'll be a no-brainer for the Crusty Dusty, Ordonez is his man. The average age on a Crusty Dusty roster is 30, that may seem young for a crusty Dusty team, but even Crusty Dusty will trust a 27 year old as long as he has "done it" for three years. FUDD is a Crusty Dusty.

My favorite term is "fantasy pedophile". This is a player that just can't leave the kids alone. I have one in my league. Hi Rich! A fantasy pedophiles roster average age should be around 25. The former Mrs Josh Hamilton and now current Mrs. Longoria (although I've heard that she is planning a reverse "Three's Company sitcom with these two), Jules, would be a fantasy pedophile. I'll leave the jokes for you guys. :D

"Missouri, Missouri". A lot like the "Crusty Dusty", the "Missouri, Missouri" player has to be shown twice that a player is for real. For instance, Missouri, Missouri will not touch Longoria or Alexie Ramirez this year or Braun last year. Call it the sophomore jinx or the 'I dare you to to do that again' syndrome, a Missouri, Missouri player will not touch a player without two lines on the back of his baseball card under 'Major Leagues Stats'. Again, FUDD fits in this category.



A sentence we do not want to hear next year at the draft. "Look at the projections on that fantasy pedophile". That's just not right.
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Post by RedRyder » Tue Mar 24, 2009 9:57 am

"Fantasy Pedophile"...I knew I would make a name for myself in this game!!!!!



I am hurting a tad in SP and in the 29th round I thought about taking Jamie Moyer, but just couldn't pull the trigger!!!



Ex-Mrs. Josh Hamilton

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Post by JohnZ » Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:21 am

Thanks to Rick Thomas, we have another term for Jesse Herron bringing up, "JD Drew, $12" and hearing crickets. Jesse commented after the crickets with,"I didn't know he was carted off today, but I know all the hoops scores!"



To his credit, Jesse took it all in stride and next round nominated Scott Rolen for "Team womans censored anatomy part ".



Would love to see this make the promo video for next year. :D The whole episode was pretty damn funny.



[ March 24, 2009, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: JohnZ ]

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Post by Edwards Kings » Tue Mar 24, 2009 10:24 am

Originally posted by RedRyder:

"Fantasy Pedophile"...I knew I would make a name for myself in this game!!!!!



I am hurting a tad in SP and in the 29th round I thought about taking Jamie Moyer, but just couldn't pull the trigger!!!



Ex-Mrs. Josh Hamilton Don't worry about it, Jules. Just keep repeating "Stephen Drew...Stephen Drew"!



Signed,



President of the Missouri/Missouri Society (or just PMS for short)
Baseball is a slow, boring, complex, cerebral game that doesn't lend itself to histrionics. You 'take in' a baseball game, something odd to say about a football or basketball game, with the clock running and the bodies flying.
Charles Krauthammer

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Post by RedRyder » Tue Mar 24, 2009 3:20 pm

Originally posted by Edwards Kings:

quote:Originally posted by RedRyder:

"Fantasy Pedophile"...I knew I would make a name for myself in this game!!!!!



I am hurting a tad in SP and in the 29th round I thought about taking Jamie Moyer, but just couldn't pull the trigger!!!



Ex-Mrs. Josh Hamilton Don't worry about it, Jules. Just keep repeating "Stephen Drew...Stephen Drew"!



Signed,



President of the Missouri/Missouri Society (or just PMS for short)
[/QUOTE]PMS :D



oh, and Stephen Drew is getting added to my shrine/alter to go with Harang...you guys in LV2 just wait!!!!!

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Post by DOUGHBOYS » Thu Mar 26, 2009 4:39 am

Free agency pool?



I never got that. You can yell, "Everybody out of the pool!". But those same rancid players are going to be there.

How about another term for free agent pool? The players left after a draft are, for the most part, trash.

"The Dump".

Who has not gone to the dump and seen something that was coveted that somebody else threw away? Revered by Maynard G Krebs, the dump can be an exciting place to go, depending on what's there.

It just seems right. When you think of a guy like Miguel Cairo, most of the time he'll be at the Dump, if not, he's on the verge of being Dumped. Just makes sense.

In no way is this to be confused with taking a dump. Thats different......kind of.
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Post by sportsbettingman » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:06 am

Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:

Free agency pool?



I never got that. You can yell, "Everybody out of the pool!". But those same rancid players are going to be there.

How about another term for free agent pool? The players left after a draft are, for the most part, trash.

"The Dump".

Who has not gone to the dump and seen something that was coveted that somebody else threw away? Revered by Maynard G Krebs, the dump can be an exciting place to go, depending on what's there.

It just seems right. When you think of a guy like Miguel Cairo, most of the time he'll be at the Dump, if not, he's on the verge of being Dumped. Just makes sense.

In no way is this to be confused with taking a dump. Thats different......kind of. HA!!!



This one could stick.



In the modern "texting" world of making Alex Rodriguez "Arod" and going for the shortest possible revision...The Dump is shorter and more fun than Waiver Wire, or Free Agent Pool...so I think it has a real shot at sticking!



~Lance
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Post by King of Queens » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:17 am

DOUGHBOY looking for free agents:




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Post by King of Queens » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:22 am

Ewwww, it's Miguel Cairo!




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Post by DOUGHBOYS » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:30 am

Originally posted by King of Queens:

Ewwww, it's Miguel Cairo!



What is she doing in the free agent POOL?
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Post by Navel Lint » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:37 am

Originally posted by King of Queens:

Ewwww, it's Miguel Cairo!



:D :D :D :D funny!
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Post by DOUGHBOYS » Thu Mar 26, 2009 6:38 am

Originally posted by King of Queens:

DOUGHBOY looking for free agents:



It looked like Baby Ruth, after a bite, I found out it was Miguel Cairo.
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Post by Lost Sailor » Tue Mar 31, 2009 3:14 am

Are you sure that's not Brad Wilkerson??? He gets scooped up and dropped every year....
Been way too long at sea....

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