Ramblings from an Imsomniac

[DOUGHBOYS]

It's striking again, insomnia.
My wife's in bed, the dog no doubt, is on my pillow, and I have nobody to bother but you.
We are in a slow draft as I speak. There is a fellow in the draft that I want to meet in person. His picks are not better than anybody's, he doesn't chat. Let me tell you what he does do....He drives everybody crazy!
Now, this could easily be a mean-spirited post, but it's not.
His name is Marcel. Marcel is a dreadfully slow picker. So slow that name calling and insults appear when it is his turn.
I e-mailed him and asked him to be a little more courteous.
He responded that he was sick, maybe his heart. I felt sorry for him.
But, the rounds keep coming and Marcel takes six-seven hours and the hollerin' continues.
I e-mail him again. Marcel, be a little more considerate.
Marcel responded that he NEEDS that time. It's within the rules. The reason he entered a slow draft, well, was to be slow.
In my minds eye, and you older folks will get this, he reminds me of Uncle Joe on 'Petticoat Junction'. He's gonna do what he wants at HIS pace and he's right, he's well within the rules to do it. But those chat rooms do not limit the bad words that he'll see.
We're living under Marcel Law.
A flurry of picks and seven hours of cussing. Entertaining at first, like a bad reality tv show, it grows tiresome for onlookers. That is gonna be a long draft.

The Chat room is one of the best features of the slow drafts. Mike the Mouth is in our draft. I like him. It's probably not reciprocated, but that's alright. He thinks I kiss Marcel's butt while he's trying to bite it off.
Todd Zola and David Anthony chatted before bedtime about Ron Jeremy, Shirley Temple, Jeniffer Aniston, Gekko, Anonymous, and Marcel. Only fantasy baseball enthusiasts could talk about those subjects within a 45 minute period.

Aubrey Huff is doing pilates! That's it! I'm moving him up my draft list!

I took Ichiro in the ninth round of this draft and Jesus Montero in the 10th. I can say that, Mr Anonymous because they were MY picks. I don't like Mr.Anonymous. He's sort of like playing 'Fish' with an untrustworthy opponent. He wants to see all your cards and wants you to be honest about it, while not expecting the same from himself. We lay our cards on the table, he holds his close to his vest..It just ain't right....Any way, there is something so wrong with a cup of coffee being drafted after a guy who could be in both Japan and America's Baseball Hall of Fame...Worse that Matt Moore, another cup of coffee went in the seventh round....Relax Anonymous, I took him too.

Edwin Jackson is asking for 15-17 million dollars...If he gets that, do ace pitchers aspire to be number three or four pitchers like Jackson?

Raise your hand if you think Billy Beane gave Coco Crisp a two year deal so that Crisp'll have more worth at the trade deadline....Even his signings are part of a trade...Keen, keen, Billy Beane...

Whenever the Yankees were quiet in the off season back in the day, they would fire a Manager.
Now, they just pay a luxury tax.

Who has a Spanish first name (Also an Abba hit) and an English last name that is a first name?
That question is a lot tougher than...Name the former crappy closer for the Angels.
Both, of course, are Fernando Rodney

How do you seperate a real baseball fan from a run of the mill or team fan?
Ask them what Kendrys Morales last hit was.

He gets hurt and goes from Kendry to Kendrys...Fantasy folks liked him better as Kendry...
Richie Allen went from Richie to Rich to Dick...

Major League teams will lie for their players.
Think about all the big men you've seen play baseball.
Prince, CC, Bartolo, Frank Howard, Frank Thomas, Frank Sinatra(just seeing if you were paying attention), you know, really big men....
But, officially there has only been one man listed at 300 pounds.
That man is still active and not one of the names mentioned.
It's Jonathon Broxton.

Gio Gonzalez allowed 91 walks last year.
I know, shrug of the shoulders, right.
It was eight more than, gulp, AJ Burnett....

Trevor Cahill was the only American League pitcher to rank in the top 10 for most walks and most hits.
Do you suppose somebody should tell the Diamondbacks?

Who has more strike outs than any other active pitcher?
Give up?
He's a free agent, and no, I classify Moyer as retired...
This pitcher actually pitched well last year.
Which leaves out Tim Wakefield, who is second on the list....

The answer is Javier Vazquez.

All right, last one, I'm starting to get punchy...
What active pitcher leads baseball in wild pitches?

If you didn't answer Tim Wakefield, give yourself a demerit. He had 134.
Makes sense that a long lasting knuckle baller would lead the pack, right?
Incredibly enough, AJ Burnett is only 10 behind him and will most likely pass him this year.

Thanks for putting up with me, maybe you've learned something. I know I have.
Insomnia kicks my ass.

[Captain Hook]

Good Stuff Dan.....glad I wasn't up late enough to read it live

[rockitsauce]

Hey Dan,

yes that was fun last nt, maybe we have Marcel to thank for something after all

on the baseball side I loved that Ichiro pk in the 9th, even better than myself taking Mauer in the 8th. Mariners mgr Eric Wedge has already come out and said they may hit Ichiro 3rd perhaps just bs here in the winter, but what if? Ichiro has sneaky power, not sayin' he goes all Ellsbury, but why not 10-15 hr's? (supposedly the Japanese spiderman can put on quite a show in BP) at worse I think he bounces back in BA and still gets over 25 SB.

TheJesus pick is better the sooner he gains C elig, but even if he's DH, as long as he's mashing who cares rt? Team Doughboys looks like a contender to me.

I agree w/ the analogy about laying out your cards. I understand why some folks feel the need to "protect" their picks, but they gain an unfair advantage in being allowed to do so. It's a tough one.

I guess as a new Coco owner I'm not too upset about goin back to OAK, but boy it woulda been nice to see him at the top of that Cards lineup.

I passed on Beckett & Gio to take JJ. Mistake? Probably.

why do I have all this time to write this post? u guessed it we're in the MARCEL ZONE !


any mention of ABBA and we gotta have a pic of some Swedes

[DOUGHBOYS]

Can an American defect to Sweden?

JJ is all about health. If he's healthy, I'd rather have him.

[MadCow Sez]

When I was stationed in Missouri, I had the opportunity to lead the detail taking the big flag out on the field at Royals home openers. One year the opponent was the Yankees. An Airman on the detail commented on how "large" Joba is and ther would be no way he'd pass our PT test. Then CC came out and blocked the sun. He had a gravitational pull that drew the water from the fountains.

The program listed him at 6'7', 265.....

The Royals won.

[KJ Duke]

I'll post this here - rambling from a Cub fan -

Carlos Zambrano and Ozzie Guillen, together in Miami.
I'd love to be a clubhouse reporter for the Marlins this season.