This Kid Hit in the 200's

[DOUGHBOYS]

Sometimes people do things to excess.
Living in Colorado, I enjoyed the Tebow ride on Sundays. Sundays only though. It seemed to be the only subject around here that folks could talk about. The media didn't help. ESPN became ESTTN.
Tebow didn't talk to the press much. He didn't have to, they were doing all the talking for him.
That's over now with the Super Bowl on the horizon.
Still, if you're playing the Tim Tebow drinking game during the Super Bowl, odds are you'll be snockered by half time.

I bring this up because excess is seldom good. Our town holds the National Junior College Baseball Tournament or JUCO for short.
The players are of dubious quality. Major colleges usually latch on to the best arms, so most JUCO games are high scoring affairs. Not to mention we're in Colorado where the air is thin and balls fly.
Something humorous happens in this tournament just about every year. On the field, errors are made that leave most shaking heads. But the most amusing things usually take place in the stands.
I'll bring up one now and tie in the whole 'in excess' thing in a moment.

Years ago, we had a used car magnate in our town. His name was Dick Mead. He owned the biggest lot in town and did a brisk business. I played poker with the man a few times and did not come away impressed with him. I thought him to be arrogant and full of himself.
We have one of those baseball parks with advertising on the outfield fences and his ad was among the largest, of course.
To amuse ourselves during a whole day of baseball games, my daughters, wife, and I would try to find numbers on the fences from 1-100 using telephone numbers and other numbers on these signs.

On the second day of the tournament, my daughter started laughing out loud. Not a snicker, but a full belly laugh. Almost out of breath she pointed at the sign in right field. It read, in big letters-

DICK HEAD

Somebody had come in during the dark of night and expertly repainted the 'M' to an 'H'. In the same font that was used for the rest of the sign. Really, well done. Soon, everybody in the stands was laughing. The sign was re-painted after the games that day. I don't know if Dick Mead ever made it to the games that day.
A part of me hopes not, but only part.

Another year at the tourney my wife was getting annoyed with the third baseman on a Texas team.
And this is where doing something to excess is hardly ever good
.
This third baseman clearly needed a new cup or jock. He would touch, prod, and scootch at himself every chance. After bringing it to our attention, we couldn't stop laughing. It became like a car wreck, your eyes naturally went back to him and his free hand.
Soon our whole section was amused. It was like somebody had put itching cream down his pants. My wife asked me to go down and ask him to stop. Not for her sake but for his. She, not being a guy, did not understand guys. I told him I had a better idea to make him realize what he was doing, because consciously he had no idea.
I stood up with my back to the field and asked everybody in our section to start counting out loud each time he touched himself.
The counting started with a low murmur but accelerated with each number. Soon it was not just our section, but most of the park. Players started staring wondering what the crowd was counting for.
That number was in the 200's when the third baseman looked up into the stands, touched himself, and realized that he was the band leader.
I almost expected an 18 year old kid, embarrassed by folks in the stands to use a middle finger or grab his crotch to show his resentment at getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar, sorta speak.
This third baseman took his glove off, spanked his right hand with his left hand and bowed to the crowd.
He became the number one autograph get that year. As my daughter brought his autograph up for me to look at, I asked her if he signed with his right or left hand.

That kid never did get signed to play pro ball that I know of, but his autograph is still tucked away in my daughters drawer.
A signature that'll make her smile for a lifetime.