Hunter Pence is Calling you Names Again!!!

[DOUGHBOYS]

Is there a guy in baseball that you just can't draft?
Not because of numbers, mind you.
Just because of looks and what we see.
Think about it a second before reading on.

I have a player in mind.
To my knowledge (I suffer from not Alzheimers, but do have someteimers), he has never been on one of my fantasy teams.
He is Hunter Pence.
First, he looks like a dork.
I know, I know, I'm supposed to be smarter and get past the looks. Which makes me wonder what the Giants are putting together there in San Francisco.
Pablo Sandoval looks like the Latin version of Cartman.
Barry Zito in uniform, has a look that makes his upper torso seem like it is being supported by bowling pins.
Brandon Belt looks like he should be grazing or smoking grass, not playing on it.

And then, there's Pence.
He looks as if he has overdosed on Viagara and took vicodin to counteract it.
Pent up aggressiveness. He doesn't know what to do with himself.
He is the modern day player who cares about his body.
He'll smile a bit when talking about a home run.
But, he'll smile widely if mentioning how 'cut' he is.
It's all good.

I purposely avoided looking at any of Pence's stats for this post or, for that matter, drafting purposes.
I know from looking at other things like the 'Roto Kings' thread that Pence had over 100 rbi.
That's good.
And good for him. But he'll do it for somebody else.
Because, whenever I watch the guy....HE SUCKS!
I'm sorry, I know there is a better way to put it.
But, it is true.
Superstition kicked in during the season. My fantasy competitor had Pence rostered.
I watched a lot of Pence, and it worked, he still sucked.
How can I take Hunter Pence if I have no confidence in him?
I can't.
I just know that if I drafted him next year, he'll suck, because I will want to watch him.
I marvel at his numbers. I know that he knows that I am not watching when he has big games.
Sometimes I will see him on the highlights and he'll hit a home run, peek his head through the tv, and say,
"See Asshole, I can hit!! "

I know it's silly.
But, I think it is the Baseball God at work.
There are just some players that will not work on our fantasy rosters.
For me, it is Hunter Pence.