The NFBC Dictionary

[Edwards Kings]

We seem to like to coin phrases on these boards. Maybe we should start a string so we can begin putting together a dictionary as well as have proper attribution. It could even be handed out at NFBC events so newbies can understand the vernacular. Two quickly come to mind:

"Judy" - I believe this was a Shawn Childs creation (edit: better chance it was Walter Alston). Definition - All speed, no power. In short, Rafael Belliard could probably kick their asses in a fight.

"Zito dickpunch" - Recently added to our collective by Bob Particelli. Definition - minimal outs, maximum earned runs, subsequent nausea. Not always limited to a starter that was streamed for the week. Causes one to check multiple sites for confirmation because the source of the iniatial information just HAS to be wrong. Also causes one to try to calculate just how many shutout innings your team would have to have to correct the damage.

[DOUGHBOYS]

You're right! Good idea!

Missouri/Missouri and 'Stuck in the Middle with you' come to mind right away for me. Any time I use those terms, I have to explain them to newbies.

Good Stuff, Wayne.

[ToddZ]

Mocksterbation

[Edwards Kings]

"Missouri/Missouri" - I believe this was a Dan Kenyon creation. Definition - The type of NFBC owner who believes that until a young player has shown good results for at least two years, he is not worth a high draft pick. For example, a Missouri/Missouri drafter would probably prefer Corey Hart to Mike Trout, at least until 2014. If you want to know what these sick, misguided individuals look like, google "Edwards, Wayne".

"Mocksterbation" - Was this a Todd Zola creation? The hibernation habits of NFBC owners include frequent and often embarrassing sessions of mocksterbation during the period from immediatly after the last pitch of the baseball season until immediately before the last draft/auction they compete in and reaches the level of clinically diagnosed obsessive compulsive disorder after the NFBC owner gets his/her draft pick. Mocksterbation is where the NFBC owner drafts against theirselves, usually for at least 15 rounds, based on ADP's, gut feel, projections, or other wasteful aberrations. Mosterbation occurs as often in public (dinner with the spouse, work, church, surgery, etc.) as it does in private. Grandma can watch but probably doesn't want to.

[DOUGHBOYS]

"Stuck in the Middle with you"-
A fall back option for 'projectionists. If a player has a breakout season or has a dud of a year, most projectionist will use the 'stuck in the middle' model as it's projection.
For example, leading up to Chase Headley's 31 home run performance in 2012 was preceded by nine, 12, 11, and four home runs in the years leading up to Headley's breakout.
'Stuck in the middle' projectors will then predict between 15 to 25 homers for Headley.
'Stuck in the Middle with you' projectionists will never predict a down year or break out year.

[Ando]

Maya (noun/verb)

When Dan realizes he pissed away $16 in real money when he is told that Yuniesky Maya is actually getting paid $2 million by the Washington Nationals in 2012 as opposed to the league minimum of $400,000.

This excessive spending caused Mr. Kenyon to alienate Doritos for 3 days, had him open penis enlargement emails, and caused him to enroll in Chemistry 101 at Grand Junction Junior College for the spring semester of 2012.

[DOUGHBOYS]

HA!
I can only laugh about that now.
Man, I was torked when realizing my mistake. Getting Maya'd is no fun.

[Glenneration X]

$$ FAAB Alert $$ - Webster's definition - To be utilized in bold lettering preceding the name of any overhyped fantasy baseball free agent in the hopes of driving the bidding to heights where any ROI is near impossible. This phrase and tactic is typically ineffective at achieving its end goal with the more savvy and experienced fantasy player. However it has resulted in several Yahoo veterans being left with no FAAB by the All Star break of their rookie NFBC seasons.

[KJ Duke]

HA!
I can only laugh about that now.
Man, I was torked when realizing my mistake. Getting Maya'd is no fun.

Here is a $20 Maya - it's exchange rate is typically quoted in Doritos, a far more stable currency than the euro or j-yen!

[Bronx Yankees]

I think there needs to be a word for the moment of sheer panic when you see that Rick Porcello gave up nine earned runs without getting out of the first inning and you can't remember if you started him on any of your teams.

Roto-panic?

Then, of course, there also needs to be a word for the feeling of sheer relief, or ecstasy, when you confirm that Porcello is in fact riding the pine on both the Draft Championship teams where you drafted him (for some reason).

Roto-relief?

Finally, speaking of Porcello, there should be a word to describe a barely-mediocre pitcher who has little to no fantasy value other than the fact that, for some inexplicable reason, he is part of a very good team's rotation.

Porcello-crap?

Please feel free to improve upon these proposed entries. I think these descriptions warrant a spot in the glossary, but readily concede my proposed names for them are kind of lame.

Mike

[Deadheadz]

"Judy" - I believe this was a Shawn Childs creation. Definition - All speed, no power. In short, Rafael Belliard could probably kick their asses in a fight.

"Judy" comes from "punch and Judy hitter" believed to be coined by Dodgers manager Walter Alston.

Forgive me if your reference was actually a dig at someone else that went over my head.

[Edwards Kings]

"Numerish" - Not sure who first said it, but it means Todd Zola. Not so much a tool or a strategy, but a state of mind. When the statistics mean more than watching them actually play, you have found your roadmap to numerish. A statistical deli with numerous ways to slice, top, serve and consume. Look long and hard enough, you could eventually mine enough information to predict the walk rate of left-handed squirrels. On Tuesday's. On Turf. Really attracts chicks at parties, though!

[Edwards Kings]

"Trouting" - Beware. Extreme "Trouting" can cause rotator cuff injuries as you strenuously pat yourself on the back for being correct on your pre-season projections about how bad star players (especially those under 25) will be. The antonym of "touting". However, in order to officially be "Trouting", statements about how smart you are must be made early enough in the season to be a) numerically unsupportable and b) while the Cubs are still mathmatically a contender. Beware Trouting if you have egg allergies because there is a good chance you will be wearing some on your face. Unsubstatiated rumors has it that Trouting is now covered under the Baseball HQ medical plan.