Snippier Roto Snips

[DOUGHBOYS]

A little more 'snippy' for these mostly stupid reports or retorts.....
They and we deserve it......

'The Dodgers have been heavily scouting Brewers reliever Francisco Rodriguez …'

Can somebody out there please tell me what this sentence means?
My best guess is that the Dodgers are sending out their most over-eating scouts to monitor a guy who beats up senior citizens in his spare time.
Ok, that may have been a little harsh.
A little.

They are sending out scouts to look at a pitcher who has been at the Major League level for years.
Better?
That is soooooo old school.
Send one scout with a gun and tell me if he can get hitters out.
Yes, it should be that simple.
The fact that this reporter uses the words 'heavily scouting' gives us the appearance that:
one) It is a breaking story
Two) The Dodgers are really interested
Three) FRod is soon to be moving on
With that in mind, and RotoWorld's past record of rumors and innuendo really coming to life, I make it less than even odds that FRod continues his senior citizen beatings in the LA area.
Betty White can rest easily now.

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'Matt Harvey will start Game 2 of the Mets' doubleheader with the Nationals on Friday'

Sssssh, don't tell the Mets.
They think they are giving Harvey extra rest by being the 'sixth man' in their rotation this week.
That's not near as bad then if we still lived in the age of two All Star games, they would have then pulled him completely.
The Mets know their priorities!

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'According to Adam Kilgore of the Washington Post, the Nationals have fired hitting coach Rick Eckstein.'

I'm guessing this was the bastard who signed Dan Haren and thought so much of Drew Storen and benched Strasburg with a chance at the golden ticket.

Wait, he wasn't?
The guy who fired him was?
Oh.

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'According to Jon Heyman of CBS Sports, Alex Rodriguez "declined to answer the questions of MLB investigators when they interviewed him" about the Biogenesis clinic.'

Before 'lawyering up', ARod was over heard by a secretary saying, "I read Outlaw! I know I'm F---ed!
Go ahead! Suspend my ass for whatever length you need to!
Get Outlaw in here and I might talk! In fact, I talk to Outlaw or nobody!
That, is how this is going down!
Until then, Screw you guys!
Oh, heh,heh, I still get paid, right?"

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'Matt Garza is expected to make his scheduled start for the Cubs on Monday against the Diamondbacks'

There should be a perma-headline on RotoWorld that reads:
Matt Garza is always pitching as scheduled for the Cubs till he's not.
Just to remind them.
We're the only ones that seem to know this.
Most assuredly, RotoWorld does not and somehow, every five days, makes a news item out of non-news.

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'CC Sabathia was charged with seven runs over five innings on Sunday night in a no-decision against the Red Sox.'

Hey Bartolo, it's me, CC,
Hey Bro, Wazzup?
One fat guy to another,man, where do you get that stuff that makes you throw thin?

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'Brian Wilson (elbow) is not expected to be ready to pitch for six more weeks.'

Remember last off season?
We were so sneaky in our 50 round drafts.

Hee Hee, I AM SO SCHMART!
I'll take Brian Wilson, and Madson, and Luebke, and Beachy, and Paulino, and Lewis , and Baker.
And when they all come back, I will achieve fantasy greatness!
Man, sometimes my brilliance over other drafters leaves me so amused!
And today, we look at those cursed names on our rosters and think, ' me = Tool, squared

[DOUGHBOYS]

Some of RotoWorld's snipets are funny, even not meaning to be. Some are just plain wrong. Some are cheerleaderish like Brandon Belt and the love affair they have with him.
What really rubs me the wrong way is when they have to be right.

Here is an example:

'Cardinals optioned RHP Carlos Martinez to Triple-A Memphis.
Martinez provided an extra relief arm for the Cardinals for a couple of weeks. He will return to a starting role at Memphis and could be in line for a spot start in St. Louis at some point later this season. The electric 21-year-old right-hander boasts a 2.05 ERA and 44/17 K/BB ratio in 52 2/3 innings this summer in the minor leagues'

I dislike RotoWorld when they do this. They've written how much they like Martinez in the past. Here, they fall back on minor league numbers rather than looking at the obvious in that Martinez was not giving the Cardinals what they had hoped for in their bullpen. It's worse than cheer leading. It's misleading. Their boy failed for a brief time, big deal.
REPORT IT!
It's ok for Martinez to fail as a reliever. He's probably going to be a starter in the future.
What is NOT ok is for RotoWorld to ignore the fact that he didn't cut the mustard with the Cardinals.
Instead, it is a sugar coated report that does not mention Martinez 5.56 E.R.A. or 1.41 WHIP. or that he gave up more hits (12) than innings (11)
I'd try to be funny with this snipet, but it just plain blows.
Dave, I know you couldn't have written this one.

[DOUGHBOYS]

'David O'Brien of the Atlanta-Constitution believes the Braves trading for Jake Peavy is a "legit possibility."
The Braves are also after Bud Norris, as they're in the market for rotation help following the injury to Tim Hudson. Brandon Beachy (elbow) is expected to be activated next week, but the club hasn't been happy with Kris Medlen's recent performance and appears eager to move him to the bullpen'

Tis the time of season. No, it's not Christmas time, although RotoWorld does print writers guesses then too.
A 'legit possibility' conjured from the mind of a sports writer is newsworthy or even newsblurby?
I don't get it.
EVERYTHING is a possibility.
Anybody can guess dog bites postman. Let me know when the postman bites the dog.
Sheesh.

[Outlaw]

'David O'Brien of the Atlanta-Constitution believes the Braves trading for Jake Peavy is a "legit possibility."
The Braves are also after Bud Norris, as they're in the market for rotation help following the injury to Tim Hudson. Brandon Beachy (elbow) is expected to be activated next week, but the club hasn't been happy with Kris Medlen's recent performance and appears eager to move him to the bullpen'

Tis the time of season. No, it's not Christmas time, although RotoWorld does print writers guesses then too.
A 'legit possibility' conjured from the mind of a sports writer is newsworthy or even newsblurby?
I don't get it.
EVERYTHING is a possibility.
Anybody can guess dog bites postman. Let me know when the postman bites the dog.
Sheesh.

most of the time, all the news is like "you just cant make this stuff up" but hey, a lot of it does make you laugh and it hammers home we are all better off trusting what we see and what we actually hear... like Murphy and Byrd goign off today against the Nats...

[DOUGHBOYS]

'Adrian Gonzalez has been scratched from Saturday's lineup.
It's just a scheduled day of rest. Scott Van Slyke will replace him at first base Saturday against the Cubs.'

C'mon Man!
Are you reporters. or what?
If it was a scheduled day of rest, HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SCRATCHED!!!!
I own Gonzalez on a couple of teams. I'm waiting for the other shoe.
...Scratched... scheduled day of rest ...stupid RotoWorld...

[DOUGHBOYS]

'Manny Machado will be sidelined for the next 6-8 weeks after being diagnosed with a torn medial patellar ligament in his left knee.'

Oh Man....
You can always tell it's football season when a writer uses the term 'sidelined' to describe how a player will not be in the game.

It won't be 6-8 weeks. It'll be six days. Your audience are fantasy baseball players, not Machado's family.


'Ryan Flaherty is starting at third base Tuesday against the Blue Jays.
Flaherty is making the start in place of Manny Machado, who left Monday's game with a left knee injury. He's unlikely to have much fantasy value the rest of the way. '

There are six days left in the season. Any batter who gets an at bat and any pitcher throwing a ball is a danger to adverse our stats and standings. If Flaherty hits two homers, which he has done in one game before, he'll have value.
Over a short time frame, it's unwise to say that any hitter is ' unlikely to have much fantasy value the rest of the way. '

'Joe Saunders isn't expected to make another start this season.
"As of right now, that's what we're looking at," said Mariners manager Eric Wedge. Saunders was tagged for six runs over seven innings Saturday against the Angels and will finish the year with a 5.26 ERA over 32 starts. His contract includes a mutual option for 2014, but the Mariners are likely to decline. '

None of the gobbledygook is needed after the info.
Just these words- The Mariners have come to the realization that Saunders sucks....

'Jeff Locke likely won't start again this season.
Locke was pulled after allowing five runs in one inning Sunday against the Reds and the Pirates will likely skip his turn in the rotation this weekend. A.J. Burnett is currently lined up to start Friday in Cincinnati while the Pirates could go with Charlie Morton on regular rest Saturday and Francisco Liriano on three-days rest on Sunday if the game still has playoff ramifications. Locke has faded badly since the All-Star break, posting a 6.12 ERA over 12 starts.'

Again with the gobbledygook
Just these words- The Pirates have come to the realization that Locke sucks....
Is that so hard?

And Dave, these are just tongue in cheek........just messin'