A Chat with the Yahoo Kid

[DOUGHBOYS]

Since it seems in vogue for different sites to have chats with their experts, we at Yahoo feel we will do the same.
We're sending the best we have to offer, yes, our very own, Yahoo Kid....

Yahoo Kid:
Ok folks, I am ready. Fire away and hopefully this won't be over your heads.

Bob Enzyte:
Last year, my first three drafted players went close to 100/100, not just 75/75, who should I take this year for a repeat?

Yahoo Kid:
Wow, your team must have sucked! I can get 100 rbi and runs with just one player!
You have no future in fantasy baseball. Don't lose your day job!

CC's Desperadoes:
I feel with the inventory of players available that I can cheat closers and acquire them through faab.
Do you agree?

Yahoo Kid:
Are you crazy, Dude?!
Look at that inventory again!
There are 30 teams with five starters each. That's 150 starters!
There's only one closer per team. That's 30!
Where'd you learn numbers?

Yahoo Kid:
Before I go any further, let me explain something. Every drafter should get at least two aces.
There are thirty aces and 15 drafters. But I would hurry and get the best ace. Otherwise you'll be stuck with Kansas City's ace or Pittsburgh's ace and we don't want Jonathon Sanchez or AJ Burnett as our best pitcher.
If you wait on that ace, it'll happen!

Greg Ambrosius:
Can you really get a good feel for a draft when all your leagues are free?

Yahoo kid:
What?!
Free drafts are real. Mock drafts are free. What good would a mock draft be to people who paid money?
The more money one puts into a draft, the less real it becomes.
I know if I had $1400 on the line, I would pick every player who hasn't been hurt.
Prince Fielder would be my first choice.
He never misses a game.
One rule I have is that the more money a player makes, the better pick he is for high stakes.
Pujols and Fielder are great for high stakes.
Lawrie and Hosmer are wonderful free picks.
Hopefully, this isn't over your heads!

Quahogs:
Besides Prince Fielder, who would you draft in the first round?

Yahoo Kid:
I like to zag, while others are zigging.
I'd think about Ellsbury and Tulowitzki. Ellsbury leads off and Tulo hits cleanup as does Fielder. Everybody else in the first round bats third. I wanna be zagging here.
Another point about drafting Fielder first is that pound for pound, I get more of a first rounder than any other drafter.

Sack:
Is there anybody you would never draft?

Yahoo Kid:
Jonathon Papelbon. Every time I look at him, I think of that gay dance he did after Boston won the Championship.
No gay guys on my team.

Spartacus:
What periodicals do you read before coming to the draft table?

Yahoo Kid:
First, one of my tactics of intimidation is to buy EVERY magazine, bring them all to the draft, and pile them all in front of me.
Great scare tactic. It makes my opponent think that I've read every one!
My favorite is MLB Magazine, it has a lot of pictures.

Joe Sambito:
Who are your sleepers this year?

Yahoo Kid:
All Mets. They moved the fences in and if they play well enough, they'll all be traded.

Ando:
Will you be drafting any Judy's this year?

Yahoo Kid:
No Judys, No Adrian's, and no way am I drafting an Asdrubal.

ToddZ:
763298290836748?

Yahoo Kid:
You live in America! Learn the language!

GlennerationX:
I'd like to make this a family event and bring my son's and daughters, good idea?

Yahoo Kid:
No way!
If somebody takes Fielder in front of me, I'm gonna cuss! What kind of example would that be for my kid?
The only benefit I can see is that he/she could fetch me another beer so I wouldn't have to leave the table.
But even at that, leave the kids at home.
This is a MAN'S game!

Bjoak:
Do you believe more in BABIP, contact rate, or some other source?

Yahoo Kid:
You live in America! Learn the language.

Navel Lint:
Of the 10 categories, which is the most important?

Yahoo Kid:
Saves.
There are only 30 players in baseball capable of getting you a save.
Everybody else is focused on the nine other categories.
I like nailing my closer before other pitchers. Uh....Except Papelbon, he's gay.

Winston's Empire:
Who's your favorite player?

Yahoo Kid:
Nick Swisher.
Have you seen his wife?

rockitsauce:
I think Braun is guilty, you?

Yahoo Kid:
His eyes are like bulging out of his head!
There's something not right about that!
I wish he'd give some to Weeks so he can stay healthy.

Oaktown Steve:
Tell us something we don't already know....

Yahoo Kid:
Draft catchers!
Look, do the math. There are 60 middle infielders, 60 corner infielders, 90 outfielders, but only 30 catchers.
My sleeper is Joe Mauer.
Every third year of his career, he has his best power stats.
THIS is that third year again. Look it up!

Chest Rockwell:
Are you the same kid that went to Fantasy Camp?

Yahoo Kid:
Uh, that's all the time I have today.
Remember, keep reading those magazines.
I don't want to brag or anything, but I started a 16x16 league.
Only the best can even think about playing in that league.
Hanley, Cabrera, and Trumbo are all discounted a little because they're getting less assists and put outs.
But, you guys don't have to worry about that. It's pretty heady stuff.
Thanks for the questions everybody.

[Ando]

Quite possibly your funniest post ever, Dan. I laughed the whole damn time!

Btw, start posting more so I know that you're studying less.

Best of luck this year and I'm sorry I'll miss ya in Vegas.

[OaktownSteve]

The chortling here was audible...as the kids on the internet might abreviate. Nice work.

[ToddZ]

I'm never going to be able to draft or watch Papelbon again without giggling.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Winston's Empire]

Just getting my Dough fix here tonight and this was CLASSIC! I am surely bringing all of my fantasy baseball mags to the draft, but since I really don't buy them anymore I will bring all 2010 and earlier! This will scare the crap out of guys, for they will think I am crazy!

[Glenneration X]

Doughy, once again you've outdone yourself. Great stuff. It's gotten to the point that this Yahoo kid seems real to me.
I hope I get to meet him in Vegas (and draft against him).

[DOUGHBOYS]

Once again we have an open forum for our special guest, The Yahoo Kid.
Ask him anything. Even if you don't have a question, he has an answer

DOUGHBOYS:
How was your year?

Yahoo Kid:
Better than yours!
I won 18 mock drafts. I mocked 31 times before I figured out who the site liked on their points system but after that I won 18 drafts.
I think I entered 240, but I finished close in those.

DOUGHBOYS:
I meant with your real teams....

Yahoo Kid:
First, you have to realize Yahoo leagues are the toughest. It doesn't matter how many magazines I bring to my computer table, those other drafters can't see them. Intimidation is tough. You NFBC guys would never understand that!
Also, I won money this year so put that in your pipe and smoke it awhile!

Ando:
I thought you only played in free leagues?

Yahoo Kid:
I do!
But I bet some nerd that RA Dickey would win 20 games, when he already had won 18.
That's five bucks in my pocket!
And why did you say free leagues like that? You know, with a little sneer on your face.....
Free leagues are the toughest leagues in the world. We're not encumbered by money thoughts!
Any player can be drafted at any time!
We're swimming free style, you NFBC guys are back stroking!

Winston's Empire:
Who's your number one pick this year?

Yahoo Kid:
Mike Trout.
Duh!
What a stupid question.
Look, Miguel Cabrera and Ryan Braun are not gonna improve. They are what they are.
Trout did 30/49 in five months. Imagine what he'll do in six!
I haven't done the math yet, but it's good.
And Josh Hamilton will play on his team this year. Even playing right next to him. That'll make him even better!

Viper:
I use the tiering style of drafting, which style do you use?

Yahoo Kid:
Quit crying when you're drafting! I never tear up!
This is supposed to be fun. Don't get all emotional and junk!
Geez!

Glennerationx:
I play fantasy football, do you?

The Yahoo Kid:
I've won three fantasy football leagues.
Who says it's all about luck?!

Gekko:
I don't watch many baseball games during the year, how many do you watch?

The Yahoo Kid:
I watch till I get distracted. I've seen 17 first innings and three second innings.

The Yahoo Kid:
Ok, enough with the stupid questions.
I have an announcement to make. Greg has invited me to the 10th NFBC draft in Las Vegas.
You guys are such idiots!
Did you know he pays those guys that put the little stickers on the boards?
$100!!!!!
While you idiots are paying $1500 to call out names, I'm getting paid $100 to do what a trained monkey could do!

Quahogs:Are trained monkeys in your Yahoo leagues also?

The Yahoo Kid:
Yes. I mean no. It takes money to train them!
You're missing the point!
While you guys are spending a million bucks in Vegas, I'll be collecting.
You NFBC guys are putting money in my pocket!
And when my Yahoo leagues start up, I'll brag that, yes indeed, I won money in the NFBC!
See ya later, SUCKERS!

[viper]

that's why I bring boxes of kleenex to my drafts