Putting the Fantasy in Fantasizing
Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 9:15 am
I have a friend who thinks I'm reverse perverse. He says it's not normal for a guy to have more thoughts of baseball running through his mind than sex. I understand this a little. Anybody who has gone through the teen years can understand.
But, we're all wired differently.
So, I thought I'd put some of the terms in a sexual way and relate them to our hobby....
The last girl in the bar at 2am:
Your player gets hurt and the best option on faab is Greg Dobbs to fill the bill. Dobbs is ugly, but at 2am, a body is a body.
Slut:
This girl has been on every fantasy team at one time or another. She could have been drafted. She could have been faabed.
She could have been good, but most likely, probably not. Carl Pavano is a slut.
Whore:
A perpetual girl on faab. A girl who is never drafted but is always available for your faab money.
Chris Volstad, Nick Blackburn, and Jeff Mathis are all whores.
MILF:
These are girls who have some age to them, well beyond the peak years, but still look good to some drafters.
Jeter, ARod, and Paul Konerko are MILF's.
Multi Positions:
Self explanatory. Daniel Murphy at the end of a night looks like a pretzel.
Well Hung:
They swing the big sticks. Pujols, Cabrera, and Stanton are the Ron Jeremy's of baseball.
Quickie or One Night Stand:
An infusion of stats for a day, never to be seen again from that girl.
Cougar:
We can look at Zimmerman, Beltre and Wright all we want, but we only have eyes for Lawrie.
Jules is a cougar
Friend with benefits:
This girl always ends up on your roster every year. You've found that you guys click and you always go back for more.
Sloppy Seconds:
This girl has been dropped by an opposing team. We're hoping she's better the second time around.
Multiple Orgasms:
Rare. Very rare.
Your player his a grand slam after two of your players double stole while on base preceding the home run AND the grand slam was hit off your chief competitors pitcher.
Pre-mature ejaculation:
Faabing a player way too early. Faab'ed in May, she doesn't produce till July.
Foreplay and blue balls:
This player has stats that are preferable while on the waiver wire, then when we pay good faab money for the same, we get no results.
Getting to 2nd base:
Like in that realm, it is a double with nobody on.
It makes you feel good, but it isn't close to the same feeling as 'sealing the deal' with a home run.
Now, I can tall my friend that I had, to him, a normal day....
But, we're all wired differently.
So, I thought I'd put some of the terms in a sexual way and relate them to our hobby....
The last girl in the bar at 2am:
Your player gets hurt and the best option on faab is Greg Dobbs to fill the bill. Dobbs is ugly, but at 2am, a body is a body.
Slut:
This girl has been on every fantasy team at one time or another. She could have been drafted. She could have been faabed.
She could have been good, but most likely, probably not. Carl Pavano is a slut.
Whore:
A perpetual girl on faab. A girl who is never drafted but is always available for your faab money.
Chris Volstad, Nick Blackburn, and Jeff Mathis are all whores.
MILF:
These are girls who have some age to them, well beyond the peak years, but still look good to some drafters.
Jeter, ARod, and Paul Konerko are MILF's.
Multi Positions:
Self explanatory. Daniel Murphy at the end of a night looks like a pretzel.
Well Hung:
They swing the big sticks. Pujols, Cabrera, and Stanton are the Ron Jeremy's of baseball.
Quickie or One Night Stand:
An infusion of stats for a day, never to be seen again from that girl.
Cougar:
We can look at Zimmerman, Beltre and Wright all we want, but we only have eyes for Lawrie.
Jules is a cougar
Friend with benefits:
This girl always ends up on your roster every year. You've found that you guys click and you always go back for more.
Sloppy Seconds:
This girl has been dropped by an opposing team. We're hoping she's better the second time around.
Multiple Orgasms:
Rare. Very rare.
Your player his a grand slam after two of your players double stole while on base preceding the home run AND the grand slam was hit off your chief competitors pitcher.
Pre-mature ejaculation:
Faabing a player way too early. Faab'ed in May, she doesn't produce till July.
Foreplay and blue balls:
This player has stats that are preferable while on the waiver wire, then when we pay good faab money for the same, we get no results.
Getting to 2nd base:
Like in that realm, it is a double with nobody on.
It makes you feel good, but it isn't close to the same feeling as 'sealing the deal' with a home run.
Now, I can tall my friend that I had, to him, a normal day....