A Lot Of Bottom Feeding Stuff

[DOUGHBOYS]

There were three 'wonderkids' going together in a lot of drafts.
Strasburg, Darvish, and Moore.
Strasburg and especially Darvish have been media pirahnas.
Wanted or not.

Matt Moore is not a story.
Except to his owners...
Moore has not helped his owners in one category.
He has an ERA above 4.50, a WHIP above 1.50, has as many strike outs as Phil Hughes, and as many wins as Mary Tyler Moore.

Dan Haren has not won a game. Haren is known as a first half pitcher.
His owners cannot be happy.

What do you do with Mark Trumbo?
He spreads terror and fear into Angels pitchers when he is on the field.
He spreads terror and fear into opposing pitchers at bat.
Lately, Sciosia's lineup has been a version of 'Where's Waldo' with Trumbo playing the lead.
The Angels need his bat and he may as well play without a glove.
The best thing for the Angels could be addition by subtraction.
A Morales injury and releasing Abreu would instantly solve a lot of problems for them.

And speaking of bad defense....Have Detroit fans come to the realization that defense counts?
Miguel Cabrera has my range at 3b (Meaning he can fall six feet to the left and six feet to the right)
And Ryan Raburn at 2b is comical.
Unlike Trumbo, Raburn is not hitting and will soon be riding the bench regularly....
where his errors should diminish....
some

Javier Lopez has a 2.73 WHIP and has blown two saves....His ERA?.....2.45!

I used to run a league where we would shoot for the worst roto stats. Francisco Liriano and Albert Pujols would be stars. But, with Liriano getting starts skipped, it would hurt his owners.
So, who has been the worst fantasy pitcher (by the way, losses replaces wins in this league) in baseball with little hope of losing his job?
Some may say Tim Lincecum....but I'd have to give it to Ervin Santana.
Santana sports an 0-4 record, 7.23 ERA, 1.52 WHIP, and only 16 k's.
If you've thrown Santana in every start, maybe my former league is for you....

Worst reliever is sorta no contest.
Heath Bell has already lost three games. His ERA is 9.53 and WHIP is 2.82
He would have to pitch well for the rest of the year to live up to Matt Capps standards.

If being a ratio guy, consider Jeremy Guthrie.
Guthrie has thrown 25 innings and has struck out....are you ready?.....FIVE!
I saw more k's in a slow pitch game last night!
He's walked 10.
You'd be better off drafting Janet Guthrie.....get it? .... drafting Janet Guthrie....never mind, you probably don't know who she is....


Alfredo Aceves throws a lot of cheese....get it? ...Alfredo....ok, ok, that one sucked....
Anyway, Aceves would have to throw over 25 innings of shutout ball to have his ERA look even as good as last year's

Jake Westbrook has given up three earned runs in over 20 innings....
At the same time more than 20 pitchers have given up three earned runs in one inning

Antonio Bastardo....I got nothing, I just like seeing the name

What do Barry Zito, Luis Perez, Brian Matusz, and Pedro Strop have in common?
They all have as many strike outs as Mat Latos....

Jon Lester has 16 strike outs....
Jon Lester has given up 16 earned runs
You may think that is bad.....
Teammate Clay Buchholz has 11 strike outs....
Clay Buchholz has given up 22 earned runs.....now THAT, is bad
BUT, Buchholz has two wins....
And we're back to the worried Dan Haren owners....
Who are like Peyton Manning and John Elway....
They talk about wins, but have as many as Haren...
Results are so much better than.... talking about results


The good news....
Max Scherzer has only given up six walks
The bad news....
Max Scherzer has given up 30 hits in under 20 innings....Jurrjensian....

Derek Lowe has given up eight earned runs...
Derek Lowe has given up eight walks...
Derek Lowe has eight strike outs

Brandon League has more saves than the Angels have wins

Carlos Marmol and Jordan Walden have as many saves as Brian Wilson

Getting off the bottom feeding for this....
Aroldis Chapman has an E.R.A of zero, a 0.53 WHIP.....
And, he has struck out as many batters as James Shields..... And one more than Roy Halladay
......In 18 less innings!
Best pitcher in baseball for April
Sssssh, don't tell Dusty
....Aw, go ahead....He'll only pat himself on the back and credit his start for how he is using him so well...

Marlon Byrd has 60 at bats.....And no extra base hits....and only eight singles
Like every Marlin or Marlon, he should be released

Ian Stewart is 'hitting' .175
I told everybody within earshot not to draft him
Owning Ian Stewart or watching an hour of Martha Stewart.....Both, living Hells

If Russel Martin drops 35 pounds, he'll be hitting his weight.
Unfortunately, that'll probably happen before Martin improves his average by 35 points....


Seth Smith has one extra base hit....
There's an old rule I live by, once Rockies hitters are traded, don't expect like stats

Jose Bautista selling his soul to the devil for two years of being a bad ass hitter has left his owners wanting to sell their souls to the devil for just one more year of Bautista being a bad ass hitter

Who is hitting under .225 and has zero home runs yet 'earns' $360 million dollars?....
Albert Pujols and Jose Reyes

[Ando]

Great post, Dan! Love ones like this.....just too bad for me that too many of my players made this post.

[viper]

The best board in fantasy baseball. Where else can you get both a Janet Guthrie and Mary Tyler Moore reference in the same post?

[DOUGHBOYS]

Thanks guys, very much appreciated....