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There are some bad words in fantasy. Not cuss words, although these words may have us using cuss words.
There's a few good words too, to break up the monotony...


'Expects'
If you hear this word uttered by one of your players or Manager, you're doomed.
"I EXPECT to have him back the first day he is eligible from the disabled list"
or He's EXPECTING to miss little time".

In code, 'expect' means it's worse than they want to say and don't know how much time will be missed.
Expect is like a later word, 'optimism'. In fantasy, they have the opposite meaning.

'Exploded'

This is a good word offensively. Pitching, not so much. I picture the word 'exploded', as a grenade on our stats sheets.
Offensively, we welcome the upticks in numbers.
Pitching, we close our eyes and wait for the smoke, before having the courage to see the devastation to our stats.

'Twirled' or 'hurled'

These are good words. A pitcher never TWIRLS a bad game or HURLS a bad game, only good ones.
If bombed or exploding, it is us who does the hurling.

'Labored'

If your pitcher labored, it means at the least, you're WHIP is taking a hit. LABORING infers that the pitcher was left in too long and that he had to pitch out of some jams in some innings and was not successful at it in others.
It is usually reserved for good pitchers. We already expect labor pains from bad pitchers.

'Launched'

Another good word. It is usually followed by the words 'home run'. After all, other base hits cannot be launched, they can only be sprayed, blooped, spanked, or if hit well, ripped.
'LAUNCHED' implies that the ball has left the playing area.

'Shipped'

A real bad word. Your player can be SHIPPED' to AAA but a player cannot be shipped FROM AAA.
It's a one way ship and if that player is SHIPPED he becomes a name on your ship list and is dropped the next Sunday.

'Optimistic'

In fantasy, if we hear a player or Manager is OPTIMISTIC about a player returning, it usually really means he's pessimistic about the chances.
Of course every player and Manager can be OPTIMISTIC, just don't tell us that, we know what you really mean.

'Dip'

Too easy.
If our player has 'DIPPED', then we treat him like the DIP he is, and summarily bench him.

'Under his own power'

This phrase means two things.
One- Our player was hurt. Bad enough that it says he had to leave UNDER HIS OWN POWER. After all we all do things under our own power.
And Two- Besides telling us he's hurt, it gives us hope that the injury isn't serious.
He did not have to be assisted. Still, we expect that his name will not be in the lineup the next day.

'Re-examined'

To me, this means drop that player I've been keeping on the bench. He's already missed time and now they're going to either find something else wrong with him or whatever he had originally will be worse.
I should have had my head RE-EXAMINED for keeping him on my team.

'Day to Day'

The dreaded DAY TO DAY. This the length of your Mother-in-Law's stay at your house.
It'll seem like it's forever. Or worse, benching that player only to see him have a spectacular weekend.
Either way, day to day is equal to Mother-in-law.

'Tightness'

We're screwed. It's not as bad as a 'pop', but we're screwed.
TIGHTNESS on any player in any part of their body does the same thing to our anal glands.
We know that best case scenario is DAY TO DAY, worse case....Bye Bye.

'Rust'

A little like the Tin Man being in the forest.
RUST implies that a good man has been away for awhile and like the Tin Man, has to get re-acclamated with getting used to the way things were.
How soon that oil helps, is up to us in whether to play or bench him.
Uh, the player, not the Tin Man.

'Tagged'

Another word that is good offensively and bad for pitchers.
Base hits and home runs are TAGGED.
Unfortunately, so are our pitchers.

Doughy, how about a word for Dan Haren? He currently qualifies as labored, exploded, dipped and tagged. Trying to be "optimistic".

I'll probably ramble a little during this response, so bear with me.
Haren isn't alone. Just about every pitcher taken high in drafts haven't returned the numbers needed to support the pick.
Kershaw was the chic first pitcher taken in most drafts. He only has six wins and is getting whipped by Verlander in every department. Verlander may be the only pitcher taken in the first three or four rounds to return something to his owners along the lines of what they were expecting.
Halladay, Lee, Lincecum, and Felix Hernandez have either been downright disappointing or leaving their owners wanting more.
It is after this top level of pitchers that the bargains begin showing themselves.
Hamels, Strasburg, Darvish, Weaver, Cain, CJ Wilson, Price, Sabathia, and Greinke have all fared well and will surpass some of this year's higher echelon of pitchers in drafts next year.
But, along with this group are the failures who may drop to double digits in draft rounds next year.
Haren, Dan Hudson, Gallardo, Beckett, Lester, and others.

To tell the truth, this year is the year to get dumbass lucky.
Having a McDonald, or Lynn, or Sale, or Peavy, or Vogelsong, or Harrison, or Dickey, or Miley, etc
I say lucky not to lessen the merits of drafters taking them. It's just that even if we were one of these guys brothers, we wouldn't have expected the years they are having.
This is the major reason I vent about 'VALUE' during drafts. To get Lincecum in any round this season would hurt chances of cashing in, but to get him in the third round and declare 'Value' because in most drafts he was taken in the second is just plain stupid to me.
Sorry, not politically correct, but it is.

I knew I'd ramble.
Haren has been the worse kind of fantasy pitcher. He's been 'sneaky' bad. By that, I mean we know he has been bad, but not bad enough to give up on. He cons us into thinking the next start will be the one where he turns it around. Lincecum owners KNOW that Lincecum is not Lincecum, Haren owners haven't found out, for sure, till now.
Worse for Haren owners is that only now he is complaining of a bad back, and to top it off, he is traditionally a bad second half starter, even when having a good year.
Haren and Lincecum both get dropped by more than one owner this week.

If available on faab to an owner looking for starting pitching, I would treat Haren like my mother-in-law, I'd try to stay away from him.
In Lincecum's case, I'd treat him like my sister, I wouldn't kiss him, but he may be useful for home starts vs. weak teams.
Even then, I'd bid more on Zack McAllister or Joe Kelly. Their numbers aren't exciting, but they're giving their teams a chance to win without blowing up, or getting tagged, or.....