Visiting Old Doc Grumpypants
Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 11:38 am
Kenley Jansen: How long do I have, Doc?
Doc: Six months.
Kenley: Productive months?
Doc: If you keep yourself in good shape.
Kenley: I've done that, and still not lasted six months before.
Doc: Then I wouldn't draft you. NEXT!
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Joba: This is gonna be my year!
Doc: You sound like a Cub.
Joba: Did you know I was the number one pitcher in the Forecaster?
Doc: Yep, I cancelled my subscription that year.
Joba: Remember, once I possess a skill...
Doc: Trampolines are not a skill set. NEXT!
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ARod: I hurt everywhere!
Doc: Except your pocketbook.
ARod: You gotta fix me, Doc, I'm sinking fast.
Doc: Like your average.
ARod: What is your diagnosis, Doc.
Doc: I'm sorry Son, you have MainLimbPhobia.
ARod: MainLimbPhobia? Is that serious?
Doc: You'll never hit a right hander again. NEXT!
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Lincecum: Can you help me, Doc?
Doc: With what?
Lincecum: My fastball used to be mid 90's. Now it's high 80's or at most, low 90's.
Doc: Cut your hair.
Lincecum: Will that get my fastball back?
Doc: No.
Lincecum: Then why should I cut my hair?
Doc: Kid, the World loves a goofy looking winner, they hate goofy looking losers. NEXT!
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Guillen: I'm Latin! They're supposed to love me here!
Doc: I'm sure they respect you....just as you respect Castro.
Guillen: Castro was slandered and hated, but never killed!
Doc: I guess you and him have a lot in common. NEXT!
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Doc: What's your name, Son?
Stanton: Giancarlo.
Doc: Last time you came in here, your name was Mike, not good enough for ya?
Stanton: As a boy, I went by Giancarlo.
Doc: I went by Elm Street the other day, I didn't take it as a name.
Stanton: No, no. It's my given name.
Doc: You should give it to somebody else!
Stanton: Is there a way I can stay healthy for six months?
Doc: Yep. Next year, tell everybody your name is Gehrig or Ripken. NEXT!
Doc: Six months.
Kenley: Productive months?
Doc: If you keep yourself in good shape.
Kenley: I've done that, and still not lasted six months before.
Doc: Then I wouldn't draft you. NEXT!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Joba: This is gonna be my year!
Doc: You sound like a Cub.
Joba: Did you know I was the number one pitcher in the Forecaster?
Doc: Yep, I cancelled my subscription that year.
Joba: Remember, once I possess a skill...
Doc: Trampolines are not a skill set. NEXT!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
ARod: I hurt everywhere!
Doc: Except your pocketbook.
ARod: You gotta fix me, Doc, I'm sinking fast.
Doc: Like your average.
ARod: What is your diagnosis, Doc.
Doc: I'm sorry Son, you have MainLimbPhobia.
ARod: MainLimbPhobia? Is that serious?
Doc: You'll never hit a right hander again. NEXT!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Lincecum: Can you help me, Doc?
Doc: With what?
Lincecum: My fastball used to be mid 90's. Now it's high 80's or at most, low 90's.
Doc: Cut your hair.
Lincecum: Will that get my fastball back?
Doc: No.
Lincecum: Then why should I cut my hair?
Doc: Kid, the World loves a goofy looking winner, they hate goofy looking losers. NEXT!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Guillen: I'm Latin! They're supposed to love me here!
Doc: I'm sure they respect you....just as you respect Castro.
Guillen: Castro was slandered and hated, but never killed!
Doc: I guess you and him have a lot in common. NEXT!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Doc: What's your name, Son?
Stanton: Giancarlo.
Doc: Last time you came in here, your name was Mike, not good enough for ya?
Stanton: As a boy, I went by Giancarlo.
Doc: I went by Elm Street the other day, I didn't take it as a name.
Stanton: No, no. It's my given name.
Doc: You should give it to somebody else!
Stanton: Is there a way I can stay healthy for six months?
Doc: Yep. Next year, tell everybody your name is Gehrig or Ripken. NEXT!