Church of BaseBall...or COBB, for short...
Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:35 pm
I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried the major religions, and most of the minor ones....There are 108 beads in a Catholic's rosary, there are 108 stitches in a baseball...I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only Church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.
That was from Bull Durham and I must admit that I've sat in thousands of stadium seats or benches or folding chairs watching a game, while the number of pews I've sat on, are few.
At the same time, although I don't confuse baseball with being a 'true' religion, it has a lot over them.
I won't bomb a football fan if he doesn't like baseball.
I won't look down on somebody if he misses a game on Sunday.
I don't have to say 10 'Hail Mary's' if I make an error.
We don't wear a little beanie, or put a dot on our forehead, or fast, or worship cows, or eschew electricity, or even have a Sabbath. Every day between April and October is our Sabbath.
Come dressed as you are, no need to dress up here.
Because a leader is good at Managing a team, I don't think of him as knowing how to lead my sexual, ethical, or moral life.
...Yeah, I like it here.
For every player who touches themselves on a baseball field with hand to both shoulders, heart, and head....there is another player just touching himself, period.
We love 'em both.
Some players like to point to the Heavens after even a single.
They think that by having this 'Look what I did for you' moment that somebody cares.
We don't.
In fact, being old school, I have played out in my mind dozens of times after an Albert Pujols single when he points to the Heavens that Bob Gibson is pitching and he looks at Pujols pointing, kicks dirt towards him and growls,
"Next time you're up, you may be joining that person you're pointing to!"
Ours is a more peaceful religion (Bob Gibson aside).
We haven't started any wars. Ok, beanball wars, but that is of much smaller scale.
We don't burn books. We don't march. And only a few of us think our religion is better than yours.
If a baseball leader molests a child, we do not try and close ranks to protect him.
We don't want him.
He can go somewhere else.
We're not about forgiveness.
That's for other religions.
My Grandma watches tele-evangelist. Well, not watches, but has it on in the background. For her, it's not the same as 'being there'.
Being there, she is mentally waving a pennant. She is doing the wave. And she is praying inside her Church.
She is singing hymns and yelling 'AMENS'!
She is believing. Believing in that the right thing happens 100% of the time.
It is His will
We're not 100 per centers.
We'll accept a .300 batting average as better than most.
We know that perfection only comes in bytes of time like Don Larsen.
We sing, 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' and yell, 'GET A HIT!'
We are believing. Believing that the right thing happens just 30% of the time.
And it keeps us coming back.
It's just the way.
While a huge part of our population is working hard to get to Heaven or the next good resting place depending on their beliefs, we wouldn't mind coming out of a corn field in Iowa and having a catch.
Ours is, a simpler religion.
That was from Bull Durham and I must admit that I've sat in thousands of stadium seats or benches or folding chairs watching a game, while the number of pews I've sat on, are few.
At the same time, although I don't confuse baseball with being a 'true' religion, it has a lot over them.
I won't bomb a football fan if he doesn't like baseball.
I won't look down on somebody if he misses a game on Sunday.
I don't have to say 10 'Hail Mary's' if I make an error.
We don't wear a little beanie, or put a dot on our forehead, or fast, or worship cows, or eschew electricity, or even have a Sabbath. Every day between April and October is our Sabbath.
Come dressed as you are, no need to dress up here.
Because a leader is good at Managing a team, I don't think of him as knowing how to lead my sexual, ethical, or moral life.
...Yeah, I like it here.
For every player who touches themselves on a baseball field with hand to both shoulders, heart, and head....there is another player just touching himself, period.
We love 'em both.
Some players like to point to the Heavens after even a single.
They think that by having this 'Look what I did for you' moment that somebody cares.
We don't.
In fact, being old school, I have played out in my mind dozens of times after an Albert Pujols single when he points to the Heavens that Bob Gibson is pitching and he looks at Pujols pointing, kicks dirt towards him and growls,
"Next time you're up, you may be joining that person you're pointing to!"
Ours is a more peaceful religion (Bob Gibson aside).
We haven't started any wars. Ok, beanball wars, but that is of much smaller scale.
We don't burn books. We don't march. And only a few of us think our religion is better than yours.
If a baseball leader molests a child, we do not try and close ranks to protect him.
We don't want him.
He can go somewhere else.
We're not about forgiveness.
That's for other religions.
My Grandma watches tele-evangelist. Well, not watches, but has it on in the background. For her, it's not the same as 'being there'.
Being there, she is mentally waving a pennant. She is doing the wave. And she is praying inside her Church.
She is singing hymns and yelling 'AMENS'!
She is believing. Believing in that the right thing happens 100% of the time.
It is His will
We're not 100 per centers.
We'll accept a .300 batting average as better than most.
We know that perfection only comes in bytes of time like Don Larsen.
We sing, 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game' and yell, 'GET A HIT!'
We are believing. Believing that the right thing happens just 30% of the time.
And it keeps us coming back.
It's just the way.
While a huge part of our population is working hard to get to Heaven or the next good resting place depending on their beliefs, we wouldn't mind coming out of a corn field in Iowa and having a catch.
Ours is, a simpler religion.