The Hoidy Toidy Man, the Working Girl, and the Yahoo Kid
Posted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:39 pm
I'm a cheap sombitch. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It's within me and I can't do anything about it, so I live with it and try not to let it interfere with others lives.
I have a friend. A well off friend, who is the opposite of my personality and likes to flaunt his money. We give each other crap all the time.
For my birthday, he, his wife, and my wife conspired to spoil me. They took me to the most expensive restaurant in the valley. We were met by a distinguished looking man who led us to the table and talked in that high type of ritzy way. You know, like he was a butler for a king or something.
Not my kind of place.
One look at the menu made me ill. I could go the grocery store for two weeks worth of groceries for what the four of us were about to get charged. I wasn't paying, but to me, there seemed no good reason in the world to pay these kind of prices when there's a Domino's nearby. I tried to hide my feelings, but my friends knew me too well. They asked if I was ok or should we go somewhere else. I told them I could stick it out, but there was someplace I'd like to go afterwards. The waiter came, and with his hoidy toidy voice he asked what we'd 'enjoy for the evening'.
Blecch!
I found an appetizer that looked good and he asked what else I would like.
"Nothing".
"Nothing? A big man like yourself?"
I felt like using my big man ways and pounding him as a boulder would Wily Coyote.
After dinner was done, I asked my friend to see the check.
"What!?"
I said, "Oh, don't worry, I'm not paying, I just want to see how much. The cost was over $135. I asked how much he was going to tip. He's one of these fellas that likes to over tip, and he responded, $40.
I asked him to give me the $40 and to trust me.
As we were leaving, I put a $20 dollar bill under the napkin.
They asked where I'd like to go.
"Dairy Queen."
We only have one Dairy Queen open year round. The other one opens in March and closes in November. It's generally a busy place. The girls there take orders and turn around and make each of our treats for us. After ordering our treats and seeing the harried girl mix them and bring them to us, I slipped my friend the other $20 bill.
He looked at me questioningly.
I whispered, "Tell her, this is for you."
So after paying, he says, "This is for you, young lady."
"What!? Are you serious? That's $20! THANK YOU! YOU ARE SOOO NICE!"
My friend couldn't help but soak it all in.
When getting back to our table to eat our ice cream, he looked at me with a bemused smile.
"Ok, what's the deal?"
I said, there was no deal. I told him that that hoidy toidy waiter was going to get $40 for questioning what I should eat and making us feel ritzy. Really, he didn't give a rat's ass about us. He just knows how to make you rich fellas feel like royalty. To me, he was an actor. He got $20 and probably cussed in not a hoidy toidy way.
On the other hand, a girl who works all day and is running around at full speed to make us happy gets what she feels is a small fortune.
And is appreciative to boot!
I was just evening up your world and my world for one night and it was one of the best birthday presents to see the look on that little girl's face."
I tell this story because of a PM received from a rookie or newbie to the NFBC. He argued that the Yahoo Kid character is made fun of because NFBC folks play a high end game, while those in ESPN, CBS, and Yahoo leagues are putting out little money.
Thge Yahoo Kid exists in every league. Money does not define the Yahoo Kid. He can be rich, blue collar, or homeless.
The Yahoo Kid will still be the Yahoo Kid.
There is an argument that the higher the money paid for a league, the tougher the league.
It's really a stupid argument.
I've been in bitterly fought free leagues. There is no price for pride.
The folks who are paying $10,000 for an entry into a league can afford it. Sure, they'll play tough. But no tougher than a guy putting $150 in a slow draft, knowing that the $150 lost will mean it'll be a lot tougher to make his mortgage payment.
There are several Yahoo Kids in the slow drafts. I can tell by some of their comments when responding to questions.
There'll probably be a Yahoo Kid in the Diamond too. Somebody who has read all the expert's 'advice' while doing little homework of their own. That is what defines the Yahoo Kid. Not money.
At the same time, I see your point. And I get it.
I'd have a hard time believing that a Yahoo Kid would leave a $20 tip for a girl at Dairy Queen.
I have a friend. A well off friend, who is the opposite of my personality and likes to flaunt his money. We give each other crap all the time.
For my birthday, he, his wife, and my wife conspired to spoil me. They took me to the most expensive restaurant in the valley. We were met by a distinguished looking man who led us to the table and talked in that high type of ritzy way. You know, like he was a butler for a king or something.
Not my kind of place.
One look at the menu made me ill. I could go the grocery store for two weeks worth of groceries for what the four of us were about to get charged. I wasn't paying, but to me, there seemed no good reason in the world to pay these kind of prices when there's a Domino's nearby. I tried to hide my feelings, but my friends knew me too well. They asked if I was ok or should we go somewhere else. I told them I could stick it out, but there was someplace I'd like to go afterwards. The waiter came, and with his hoidy toidy voice he asked what we'd 'enjoy for the evening'.
Blecch!
I found an appetizer that looked good and he asked what else I would like.
"Nothing".
"Nothing? A big man like yourself?"
I felt like using my big man ways and pounding him as a boulder would Wily Coyote.
After dinner was done, I asked my friend to see the check.
"What!?"
I said, "Oh, don't worry, I'm not paying, I just want to see how much. The cost was over $135. I asked how much he was going to tip. He's one of these fellas that likes to over tip, and he responded, $40.
I asked him to give me the $40 and to trust me.
As we were leaving, I put a $20 dollar bill under the napkin.
They asked where I'd like to go.
"Dairy Queen."
We only have one Dairy Queen open year round. The other one opens in March and closes in November. It's generally a busy place. The girls there take orders and turn around and make each of our treats for us. After ordering our treats and seeing the harried girl mix them and bring them to us, I slipped my friend the other $20 bill.
He looked at me questioningly.
I whispered, "Tell her, this is for you."
So after paying, he says, "This is for you, young lady."
"What!? Are you serious? That's $20! THANK YOU! YOU ARE SOOO NICE!"
My friend couldn't help but soak it all in.
When getting back to our table to eat our ice cream, he looked at me with a bemused smile.
"Ok, what's the deal?"
I said, there was no deal. I told him that that hoidy toidy waiter was going to get $40 for questioning what I should eat and making us feel ritzy. Really, he didn't give a rat's ass about us. He just knows how to make you rich fellas feel like royalty. To me, he was an actor. He got $20 and probably cussed in not a hoidy toidy way.
On the other hand, a girl who works all day and is running around at full speed to make us happy gets what she feels is a small fortune.
And is appreciative to boot!
I was just evening up your world and my world for one night and it was one of the best birthday presents to see the look on that little girl's face."
I tell this story because of a PM received from a rookie or newbie to the NFBC. He argued that the Yahoo Kid character is made fun of because NFBC folks play a high end game, while those in ESPN, CBS, and Yahoo leagues are putting out little money.
Thge Yahoo Kid exists in every league. Money does not define the Yahoo Kid. He can be rich, blue collar, or homeless.
The Yahoo Kid will still be the Yahoo Kid.
There is an argument that the higher the money paid for a league, the tougher the league.
It's really a stupid argument.
I've been in bitterly fought free leagues. There is no price for pride.
The folks who are paying $10,000 for an entry into a league can afford it. Sure, they'll play tough. But no tougher than a guy putting $150 in a slow draft, knowing that the $150 lost will mean it'll be a lot tougher to make his mortgage payment.
There are several Yahoo Kids in the slow drafts. I can tell by some of their comments when responding to questions.
There'll probably be a Yahoo Kid in the Diamond too. Somebody who has read all the expert's 'advice' while doing little homework of their own. That is what defines the Yahoo Kid. Not money.
At the same time, I see your point. And I get it.
I'd have a hard time believing that a Yahoo Kid would leave a $20 tip for a girl at Dairy Queen.