Things.....

[DOUGHBOYS]

By now, you've realized something that everybody should know about fantasy baseball...THERE ARE NO EXPERTS!
I laugh at the XM hosts giving their daily 'insights'. They'll read some batter vs. pitcher matchups and almost declare these as the way to go in daily baseball games. Sure, they are of some use (the stats, not the hosts) but to just build a team from one set of splits is stupid. And these hosts should be telling their listeners that, but they don't. Stupid.

CBS has an article about Giancarlo Stanton chasing too many pitches. And another about how he is not aggressive enough. Make up your minds, Man!
And hey, you try hitting in that lineup.
Right now, Stanton is like Rosie O'Donnell at a strip club.
Somebody would have to be desperate or stupid to make a pitch to either of them.

Barry Zito, over his last 10 games including the post-season, has an E.R.A. under 2.
And what was before laughable may become a fact-
Barry Zito is in a contract year and make a lot of money in free agency.

The Tigers start off the season with nine consecutive day games and won't play their first night game till tomorrow.
That scheduling has probably saved them two rain outs.
Plus, it's just cool having day games.

During his career, Michael Young has been either a single, a double, a triple, or a home run shy of the cycle 29 times.
Remember that when an announcer reminds us a player has done it, as if incredible.

Toronto has the highest E.R.A. in baseball.
Paper winners hardly ever deliver, do they?
Right, Miami?

The other day, Colby Rasmus hit a homer when the game was out of hand late in the game.
Today, with Detroit up 11-1 in the ninth, a rocket base hit.
Rasmus has found his niche. A great garbage guy.

I want to see Mitch Moreland hit two or three homers off Al Alburquerque.
I don't start them in any leagues. I just want to see this exchange in the broadcast booth....

"Wow, Alburquerque looks lost"
"He should find himself in New Mexico"
"Nope, New Mexico sold him"
"What?!"
"Moreland owns him now"
You snickered, admit it.

What is the worst name your fantasy starter could be called?
The absolute worst?
Not after a game pitched badly, before....
The answer is, 'Innings eater'.

Within 5-10 years, MLB will change the ruling that a Starter must go five innings to get a W.
They'll either change it to Four or leave it open for the official scorer.
Partly because of players union, partly because of agents, and partly because of the wussification of America.

Does anybody's bat look shorter in their hands than the one Prince Fielder wields?

During the drafting season, one of the big questions asked was, 'Who is the Astros Closer?'
I treated that question the same as, 'Does a bear's shit stink? '.
The answer to both questions is....Don't get close enough to find out.