Are YOU Better Than Todd Zola?
Posted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:36 am
I just got an e-mail entitled, "Are you better than Todd Zola?"
Now, as an older fella, I get lots of e-mails with the subjects being questions and I try to answer each in my head.
For instance...
'Would you like an extra 2-4 inches of Manhood?'
This one tickles me. And who knows, if I were 20, I may have even opened the darned thing.
But at my age, the answer is no. I know exactly how to work my package as is. The extra inches would just gum up the works.
They should send these e-mails to the wives and girlfriends- 'Hey Honey, look what I got you for your birthday!'
'Would you like to meet me?'
This is always from a girl I don't know. My answer is no.
No, because if she were looking for physical stimulus, she's asking a fat, bald, aging guy with apparently a need for 2-4 more inches to meet.
And if she's looking for somebody to talk to, well, I doubt that she is well versed in what a 'hit and run' is.
Plus, that may mean something different to her.
'Are you looking for new loan rates?'
The answer would, again, be no.
I liked the old ones.
But the, 'Are you better than Todd Zola' question had me thinking.
Todd is fluent in Numerish. I don't speak it.
Chalk one up for Todd.
Todd is a chemist.
I flunked Chemistry.
Chalk one up for Todd.
Todd knows technology.
I don't own a cell phone.
Chalk another up for Todd.
Ok, screw this.
I give.
He's better than me.
Are you happy Mr E-Mail?
Hey wait.
I am better at being the grumpy 'get off my lawn' guy!
The 'Get out of my face, Mr. E-Mail' guy!
Yeah, that's it.
That's right! Woo Hoo!
Suck on that one, Todd!
Of course, all in jest...
Now, as an older fella, I get lots of e-mails with the subjects being questions and I try to answer each in my head.
For instance...
'Would you like an extra 2-4 inches of Manhood?'
This one tickles me. And who knows, if I were 20, I may have even opened the darned thing.
But at my age, the answer is no. I know exactly how to work my package as is. The extra inches would just gum up the works.
They should send these e-mails to the wives and girlfriends- 'Hey Honey, look what I got you for your birthday!'
'Would you like to meet me?'
This is always from a girl I don't know. My answer is no.
No, because if she were looking for physical stimulus, she's asking a fat, bald, aging guy with apparently a need for 2-4 more inches to meet.
And if she's looking for somebody to talk to, well, I doubt that she is well versed in what a 'hit and run' is.
Plus, that may mean something different to her.
'Are you looking for new loan rates?'
The answer would, again, be no.
I liked the old ones.
But the, 'Are you better than Todd Zola' question had me thinking.
Todd is fluent in Numerish. I don't speak it.
Chalk one up for Todd.
Todd is a chemist.
I flunked Chemistry.
Chalk one up for Todd.
Todd knows technology.
I don't own a cell phone.
Chalk another up for Todd.
Ok, screw this.
I give.
He's better than me.
Are you happy Mr E-Mail?
Hey wait.
I am better at being the grumpy 'get off my lawn' guy!
The 'Get out of my face, Mr. E-Mail' guy!
Yeah, that's it.
That's right! Woo Hoo!
Suck on that one, Todd!
Of course, all in jest...