I Can't Play Today; I've Got Youkitis

[DOUGHBOYS]

'Dead arm'-
This is what a pitcher is said to have after getting bombed and his team wants him to miss a start
OR
His team is making an excuse for the pitcher as they are hiding injury.

Joe Girardi snapped at reporters as he was trying to answer questions about Derek Jeter's ankle.

Why do Major League teams have such a tough time admitting injuries for their players?
There's no strategical advantage. It's not like football where a defense has to change based on who is starting at quarterback.
The only thing I can come up with is that teams/the press are like parents/children in that they'll stretch the truth to soften the blow for awhile.
A parent will tell his child that 'It's just a nasty cough' instead of breaking the news right away that the diagnosis from the doctor was cancer.
A team will say that a pitcher is resting an elbow, even after knowing that Tommy John is the future. They'll say this to give the player time, both to deal with the prognosis and then, to deal with the press.

I get it.
But, it kills us as fantasy players. Jason Motte was drafted in several 'live' drafts the first weekend. At the time, he was just 'resting his elbow'.
We trust these reports. Maybe a little too much. Afterall, they are reports from a pitcher, to a doctor, to a team, to the press, and finally to us. Somewhere in all that gobbledygook, the truth gets lost. Or at the least, distorted.

The worst reports are from the players themselves. Every player wants to put the best spin on themselves. It's only natural. They want to look like a guy who wants to play as soon as possible.
So we'll often see this-
"I should be ready to go the first day I am eligible to get off the disabled list"
Truth is that he has no idea whether this is true or not. But, he wants to relay to fans that this is his desire.
For fantasy owners, almost all player quotes should be disregarded.

Ryan Madson has had days where he's 'felt great' after throwing. Only to not feel so great a week later. In baseball terms, 'a great day' is one day forward, while feeling 'not so good' is a step back for two-three weeks.
The tradeoff sucks.

Bobby Valentine was an absolute lousy fit for the Red Sox last year. He also pissed off his players in evaluating Kevin Youkilis as not showing the same fire as he used to display. Valentine was wrong in bringing this up to the press, but absolutely right in his evaluation. Youkilis use to slam his bat, throw a self-tirade, kick at dirt or grass when not getting a hit.
None of that last year. And none of that the year before last. and none of that this year.
Some might say it is maturity. I believe that Valentine was right. Youkilis has lost his fire. And when you lose that fire, a realization comes that whether playing the game or sitting on one's ass, it all pays the same.
This attitude plays havoc on fantasy teams.
Youkilis is 'Chippering' his teams.
During the last few years of Chipper Jones career, he would sit with ailments from past surgeries, driving his owners crazy.
Youkilis, minus all the prior surgeries that Chipper had, is doing the same thing to his owners.
In short, Youkilis is that guy at our job who calls in sick constantly.
And like his Boss, us drafters have to decide whether he is even worth having around.

Some things Youkilis have been called are Youkinary tract and Kevin Galore (Kevin replacing the name, Pussy).

Some say that Youkilis had a name change from Youkitis to Youkilis and, Youkitis is a disease that reduces the drive to participate in athletics for no apparent reason.

Some wish for this scenario-
Kevin Youkilis batting at a stadium in front of 35,000 fantasy owners.
Here's the play-by-play....

Announcer- 'Youkilis comes up to the plate now. Kevin has a six game hitting streak that started four weeks ago.'

Color Guy- 'What is that that the fans are doing, Bob?'

Announcer- 'They're not booing Youkilis, they're yelling 'Youk'

Color Guy- ' No, Not these fans, Bob!
These fans are all hacking and coughing!
Look! Somebody just threw a splint on the field!

Announcer- 'Oh Man, this is getting ugly! What are they chanting now?'

Color Guy- (laughing) They're chanting, H-M-O!, H-M-O! H-M-O!

Announcer- Oh my! Youkilis goes down on strikes. And, Oh No!....
A fan has run out onto the field!

Color Guy- Look! That fan brought a crutch and he's offering it to Youk to get back to the dugout!

Announcer- Oh Boy, Youkilis has taken a punch at the fan and has fallen down in a heap, clutching his shoulder!

Color Guy- Yep, this could be bad. That is the same shoulder that Youkilis complained about on April 7, May 18, and June 6.
He could be headed to the Disabled List.

Announcer- Not to be a Stinker, Bob....But has he ever been on the 'Able List? '