Obsession

[DOUGHBOYS]

Obsession is a bad thing.
Some things that may signal obsession......

1. If you think about fantasy baseball more than sex.

2. If you KNOW your top pitchers ERA, but have to think about your anniversary date.

3. Before going anywhere, you make sure you'll be 'connected'.

4. "SHUDDUP KIDS! DADDY'S DEADLINE IS FIVE MINUTES!"

5. "Mommy, where does Daddy go every Sunday evening?"

6. "Mommy, who is Keven Youkilis? And why does he say those bad things about him?"

7. Wife- "I wish the kids would 'STUDY' as much as you do!"

8. Wife- "We have the perfect marriage during December, I spend my days shopping, you spend yours with Shandler!"

9. Promising God that you'll do anything as long as you get that player, then doing it again the next round.

10. Re-arranging kds becomes a daily ritual.

11. Positive that somebody can see your que.

12. "Mommy, why does Daddy cuss every Sunday?"

13. "Because he is too cheap to bid high enough for the players he really wants!"

14. On a good fantasy day, Tim McCarver is tolerable.

15. On a bad fantasy day...... 'Screw you, Scully, what the Hell do you know anyway?'

16. Go to a minor league game, with a major league game in our headset, and box scores on the phone.

17. We tend not to like folks, even long time friends, who have something unkind to say about our first round pick.

18. We spend too much time on fantasy baseball Message Boards.

19. And, don't even know why we do it.

20. Telling the MRS. that fantasy is an investment.

21. Trying to explain why we're watching a 13-0 blowout in the eighth inning instead of 'The Voice', knowing 'our guy is in the on deck circle.

22. Hating a Manager for hitting 'your guy' ninth in the lineup.

23. Hating him more, when he is moved to leadoff, goes 0 fer 25, and is out of a job.

24. What rain means to me....

25. Rain means my pitcher will be pushed back a day, facing the Red Sox instead of the Rays.

26. Rain means my catcher will get gypped out of a game, since the game will be made up as a double header.

27. Rain means that the Manager will bench my best player for fear of him getting hurt.

28. I hate rain.

29. If on your team, Derek Jeter is not an icon.

30. He's the guy we wasted a pick on.

31. He can be an icon on somebody else's team!

32. I'm gonna kill the guy that said Ichiro would have more homers at Yankee Stadium

33. Oh wait, that would be suicide.

34. It was me.

35. Next election, I'm voting Republican.

36. Ever since Democrats took over, hitting has gone to hell.

37. Do I watch the Kershaw-Scherzer matchup tonight?

38. Or three of my hitters going against Barry Zito?

39. No contest. I can watch a pitchers duel any time.

40. A friend of mine can name every book in the Bible.

41. Other friends think that's amazing.

42. I can name every pitcher on every Major League team.

43. Other friends think I'm wasting my time.

44. I spend September studying for the next year.

45. I have a draft before September ends.

46. Baseball players have an off season.

47. I don't.

48. "Hey, how'd your fantasy teams do this year?"

49. "Do you really wanna know?"

50. "No, I was just trying to be nice"

[KJ Duke]

4. "SHUDDUP KIDS! DADDY'S DEADLINE IS FIVE MINUTES!"

At this point, all I say is "deadline in 5 minutes" without even looking up, and the room clears.

[Bronx Yankees]

Dan: Hope you don't mind if I add a few to your very-well-constructed list.

51. You spend your 15-minute car ride going home from work mentally ranking the 6-8 players you might select in the next round of whatever draft your doing.
52. You try to look sheepish and ashamed when you arrive home from work and realize you forgot to pick up the milk your wife asked you to get moments before you got into the car.


53. When friends/colleagues ask you on a Friday afternoon what your plans are for the weekend, you are not really sure and need to check with your better half.
54. If they had bothered to ask, however, you quickly could have told them which AL teams are visiting NL teams that weekend and losing the DH. (But, of course, they never ask that, do they?)


55. When you check the weather, where you live is a far lesser priority than the city where one of your pitchers is scheduled to start.
56. You don't give a crap if it is sunny, raining, hailing or snowing in any city with a domed baseball stadium.

Mike

[DOUGHBOYS]

I'll steal this story from Matthew Berry, I'm sure he won't mind.
When I think of obsession with fantasy, I think of this story....

A man collapsed. His situation was dire. A coma was induced. His friends and family were told that his hopes for survival was 50/50.
Days later, there was a Break!
Slowly, he regained consciousness. He was barely awake, but he was alive!
His wife and son rushed to his bed side so that their faces would be the first he would see when getting his bearings.
He was intubated, so he could not talk.
After they thanked God and smiled and fawned all over him, they gave him a piece of paper and pencil.
After his near-death experience, after defeating the Grim Reaper, after teetering between life and death, he very shakily scrawled a message for his loved ones.

It read: Did I get Romo?

[Edwards Kings]

And to further the string...

While the man was in a coma, he saw a bright light...

He felt drawn to the light...

He knew he was getting closer and closer to something...

An overriding sense of peace and calm began to pervade...

At the center of the light he sees a figure, robes flowing in a breeze he did not feel...

The figure says to him "All is well, but it is not yet your time. You are going back, but you have been a good person and therefore I will answer one question for you before you go back."

The man...humbled, contrite, penitent...says "Thank you for my wonderful life, my wife, my children. I have been blessed." "

"I do have one question. I recognize that I was given free choice to do with my life as I see fit, but...why in the hell did you allow me to pick Youkilis?"