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Women do not fully understand men. And even more so, men do not understand women. This has been true and a constant throughout all time and all civilizations.
The same is true in fantasy baseball. Most women involved with a fantasy baseball player think that their man is too attached to his hobby. They don't understand the moans coming from a base hit or a strike out. They don't understand yelling at the tv set or computer. And they certainly don't understand how it can become such a distraction in men's lives.

Some women deal with men that harm them. Some deal with men that drink too much with friends or drink too much, period. Some deal with men who pursue other women.
Fantasy baseball is a different animal. It isn't tangible like a wife beater, a boozer, or a skirt chaser.
In some cases, it could seem worse. Fantasy baseball is a constant. Men wake up with who they'll pick in a draft or put in their lineup, before even asking how their wives slept or saying "Good morning".
The morning paper has been replaced by the computer to keep updated on all players and especially, their fantasy teams.

And after enough "Huh's?" in reply to a wife's questions, the wife starts thinking of fantasy baseball in a much different way. It had started out as a fun thing for her man. Something to keep him occupied when not at work. Something to keep him out of the way as she did her shopping and tended to the household.
Now, it has become a wedge between them.
In arguments between the pair, the wife mentions fantasy baseball with discontent much as she would mention booze or a floozy to another type of man.
Fantasy baseball has become a mistress.

A lot of folks are under the misconception that men dominate fantasy sports because men like sports, in general, more than women. Take a look around a baseball or football stadium. Sure, there are a lot of men. But, look at the number of women. Thousands of them.
Enjoying sports is something a women does too. Enjoying those sports with their man makes it even better for them.
For the most part, men are lone wolves. Women are 'groupers'. By that, I mean that men are as comfortable being alone as with a group, women prefer company.
I was asked why there aren't more women playing fantasy sports. This is one of the reasons.
There are several others:
Men are more calculating and cold. Women are open and warm
Men are wary of others. Women are trusting.
Men are ok with a short six month marriage to a player. Women like long or lifetime relationships.
Men can draft, detached. Women are emotional.
Men don't care what a players ass looks like. Women do.

After a marriage, men and women need to learn where they are not needed or wanted.
The man learns that to control his wife's shopping is a fools errand. Her fetish for shoes may irritate. We don't understand it. We never will. At the same time, that is her domain. Her world. Something we're not invited to and something we should never bring up in the course of an argument.
At the same time, a man has a need to be in his man cave. To have alone time, while still paling around with buddies. Fantasy baseball affords both of these.
The wife has to allow him his 'lone wolf' time. As much as shopping or going out with friends is important to women, fantasy baseball is to men.

In the middle 1800's, a major newspaper ran a poll. It asked their women readers, 'if there was one thing they could take away from their man, what would it be?'
The overwhelming response was....the ball.
Nearly 200 years have passed. Little has changed. The ball is still a distraction for men. It has just taken on different forms of distraction.
When a women throws a ball for a dog to retrieve, she does it because of the dog's enjoyment and gets pleasure in knowing that she is helping the dog get exercise.
When a man throws a ball for a dog to retrieve, he too, takes enjoyment in the dog's pleasure and get's pleasure in seeing the athleticism of the dog as he bounds towards the ball.
Same action, different thought process.

It all leads back to the first two sentences of this post. We will never fully understand one another. We don't have to though.
All we have to know is that each other is happy. Happy together, even though the women's thoughts are vertical, the man's, horizontal.
Don't blame the wives for not understanding, all you men. It's just nature.
And women, don't blame your men.
Blame the ball.

Great column, Dan.

Please allow me to add a personal story along similar lines. My wife makes me feel like a very lucky man for many reasons, only one of which is her patience with my fantasy baseball obsession. We can be out to dinner during "drafting season" and she'll know exactly why I am checking my smart phone every five minutes. She may roll her eyes, tell me to put it away as soon as I make my pick, or whatever, but she puts up with me and for that I am eternally grateful.

Last season, I got lucky and happened to come out ahead in my various leagues. When the check came from the NFBC, we went out to dinner. My wife asked me what I was going to do with the rest of my winnings. I said I had no idea. She said that I should buy myself something. I asked her if she wanted something but she said no. About a week or two later, our refridgerator suprisingly kicked the bucket. It only was seven years old, so it was a bit of a surprise. My wife was annoyed with this unexpected, major expense. I told her not to worry about it, that I was going to apply my fantasy baseball winnings toward the new fridge. Whether that led her to pick out a more expensive fridge, which exceeded my winnings, I do not know, but very early in my marriage I learned that "a happy wife is the key to a happy life."

I figure I win in two ways. First, my fantasy baseball "habit" paid for most of our new fridge. That fridge will sit there in our kitchen for years to come as a reminder of a positive aspect of my addiction. Second, because I got nothing "fun" out of my winnings, I decided to apply those winnings toward my first Main Event team this season, while keeping my number of DC teams pretty much constant from last year. Sure, you could argue that I've just spent the same winnings twice, but it's not nearly as fun to think like that. Instead, I think of my winnings as a Main Event team, and my wife thinks of the winnings as a new fridge. We're both happy.

The fact of the matter is that I get so much enjoyment from all aspects of fantasy baseball (the drafting, the strategy, the competition, interacting with other NFBC'ers, following "my guys" during the season, and the mere possibility of getting some money back), that any prize money really is just a bonus - albeit a very nice bonus - to me. In terms of entertainment value, I can't imagine fantasy baseball is that much more expensive than spending $10 to see a two-hour movie (a few hundred times). Seriously, spending $150 on a DC team provides far more entertainment on a dollar per hour basis than almost anything that would entertain me. Thus, I am determined that my wife is going to "enjoy" any winnings I manage to obtain somehow. Not only will this help keep her happy, it will assuage any guilt I may have about joining that extra league, or two, or three ....

Mike

To all you lone wolfs out there. Don't listen to that old fox Dan. You'll end up getting your clock cleaned by your better half!!!
When the lady of the house yells " Dan take the trash out" he hustles faster than Pete Rose in his prime! Look at some of the great leaders in history. Behind everyone of them was a woman with a smirk on her face! Gotta go now. The wife is calling.