NFBC Message Boards

I suck.
No wait.
I SUCK!
There, that's better.
Most years in the NFBC, I make back or win more money than I put in. This past year made up for that in spades.
I was in a whole bunch of leagues. Draft Championship, Main Events, more Draft Championships.
And I got my check today.
$125.
I almost told the mailman to shove it up his ass. I saw the smug look as he smiled handing me the check. The same smug look that I pictured on any team that was in a league with me.
And smug.... is best case scenario. Some leagues, I think there was outright laughter.

Last year at the Main Event, a couple of folks told me that I made the league tougher.
And...they said it with a straight face!
Bastards!
I was so bad that Gekko comped my room.
I was so bad that Jupinka gave me real tips.
I was so bad that Mike The Mouth said he thought he was bad, but now realized, he isn't that bad.
I was so bad that Joe knew I couldn't help any team.

And worse, I had a partner for some teams.
Poor Rog.
We made a good pairing the year before. Actually kicked ass.
But now, fantasy baseball was giving him a swirlie through me.
Everything I touched turn to shit. Which means everything WE touched turn to shit.
Nothing worse than a shit swirlie.
Sorry, again, Rog.

So, what does a guy do after sucking so bad?
I have re-thought the way I draft.
50 rounders will see the greatest change in style.
As for Main Events, I'm chalking it up to a horrendous year.
A dirty, rotten, stinking, suckage of picks.
I threw my draft picks like a girl. And my players played the same.
During the season when a friend would ask how my fantasy teams were doing.
I'd tell them loudly, "It's like being in bed with Ann-Margret"!
Then mumble to myself, "Without hands, a tongue, eyes, or a penis"
How was it for you, Ann?....yeah, me too.

It takes time getting over suckage.
Depressed, demoralized, and devastated. And that's on a good day.
I try to put it in perspective.
I still have wife, family, friends.
They don't understand. I put on a happy face for them.
But while a grandson is playing horn in a middle school concert, my mind is wondering WTF did I see in Pedro Alvarez?
STUPID!
I was Pedro Alvarez bitch. While playing, he would get constant 0 fer 4's.
0 fer 3 was a rally.
When I sat him, he hit two homers and stole a base in one game.
He sent me a text after the game. It said, 'Bench me again...Bitch!'
Ok, maybe he didn't. But, it felt like he did.

This is my attempt to turn the page.
The season is over.
I have $125 for my trouble.
I figure I earned about three cents an hour for my fantasy season.
I was a sweat shop worker in China. And didn't know it.
Small steps.
I'll look to make minimum wage this year.
I'm not going for the gold. I'm going for adequate.
And work my way up.
Not a high aspiration.
But, I still smell a whiff of the stench of that shit swirlie.
It'll probably be there the whole off season.

What do they say in those CYA statements about mutual funds? Past performance is no guarantee of future results. Apropos of fantasy baseball for sure. This game can be freaking humbling at times. We have a lot invested in our teams. Not just money, but also time and, perhaps most importantly, pride in our baseball knowledge and fantasy skills. When things don't work out, it can be frustrating as hell. And yeah, because this isn't one of those daily leagues, it takes a year (or longer) to bounce back into the win column. Hang in there. I'm betting you're going to exact some serious revenge this coming year. I'm just hoping it's not in any of the leagues we're in together!

Mike