NFBC Message Boards

My technology guru is my 8th grade grandson.
I've lived long enough to have been my Dad's remote control.
In a way, I was my Dad's technology guru.
"Boy, turn it to channel 5 and put your hand on the rabbit ears, it makes the reception better!"
Good times.
Remember 'horizontal'?
For some reason, our picture would start rolling. And tv's actually had a 'horizontal button' to fix it.
Guess they've permanantly fixed that.
My computer screen never rolls.

The television was my Dad's. He ruled our roost in what we watched.
Ever seen 'Lawrence Welk'?
Or 'Hee Haw'?
I have.
Thanks to my Dad.
It was watch Lawrence Welk or go to my room.
My room consisted of a bed, chest of drawers, and millions of baseball cards.
Now, I loved those baseball cards, but a kid can only look at so many cool looking Rocky Colavito or Harvey Kuenn and Nellie Fox with their cheeks about to explode.

The only time I owned the tv was on Friday nights when the Giants played the Dodgers at Chavez Ravine.
It happened two or three times a year.
It was Heaven.
One camera behind the backstop and one roving to capture guys like Maury Wills on the bases.
When Lon Simmons said that Willie Mays hit a curve ball, we had to believe him. The picture was too distorted to tell.
Sometimes, when Wills would steal second base, the camera would swing around to capture it and left a little 'vapor trail' behind Wills.
I swear, it made him look even faster.

The radio was where most baseball was.
Off days were horrible. Now, scores are at our fingertips. Then, not so much.
We had to find a radio station that would even update baseball scores.
Incredibly hard to do.
Some stations had updates on the :20 and :40. Which meant scoreboard updates were 20 and 40 minutes past the hour.
In the 80's, to get the latest scores, there was an 800 number we could call for 50 cents a call.
I racked up some hellacious bills.

Fast forward to now.
I get spam e-mails.
They want me to know that I could have a longer wee wee.
And that I match up with a mature date in my own town.
If I was of a mind to go out with that mature woman, I guess I'd better look into that wee wee extender first.
When a child, the vacuum was solid technology.
And I admit, I put my wee wee in there to see what it would feel like.
It was risky.
It was before puberty and I thought if the vacuum was powerful enough that my wee wee would be in the vacuum bag.
Explaining that to my Mom?
But I had to try. And three seconds later after a quick on/off, I was both proud that I had done it and relieved that I still had a wee wee.
That is how I imagine those wee wee extenders working.

Some spam piss me off.
Like today.
Look, I don't mind if somebody thinks my wee wee needs extending.
But when they start sending adult diapers spam, THAT is where I draw the line.
I know these spammers know my age bracket, but sombitch, send me more of those mature dating things over adult diapers.
Emasculating!
At least let me have a little pride!

Fantasy baseball was the reason for my first computer.
'Prodigy' had a fantastic fantasy game.
It was free and I received a baseball each year after winning the Championship.
It was a head-to-head league.
And each morning, a newspaper type front page would have a headline....
'DOUGHBOYS DRUB DOORNAILS 12-2' or 'MOTHERTRUCKERS EDGE DOUGHBOYS 4-3'
I was hooked.
Unfortunately, that tied up our phone line and I was paying phone charges for the use of that computer.
That baseball I received costs hundreds of dollars!

So, go ahead, Dad.
Watch your Lawrence Welk and send me to my room now!
I'd have a monitor to watch any baseball game I want.
A computer to track my fantasy teams.
Sirius radio to listen to the hometown feeds.
And who knows, maybe if I'd have been young enough, I'd take them up on that wee wee extender.

Nice post, Dan. Although I think you have a few years on me, I recall fixing the horizontal on many a TV. The only remote control we had were my legs, as I got up off the couch to change the channel. I had long forgotten that 800 number that provided current scores - what a joke in today's world. Putting aside the insidious spam, folks often talk about the past as the "good times." Well, they were good times, but today is so much better in certain ways (and, admittedly, worse in other ways). From a sports/fantasy perspective, there is information overload. I'll change sports for just a second. Growing up, there used to be one, maybe two, big college basketball games on live TV on the weekend. The annual Notre Dame-UCLA game truly was "must see TV." Now, I probably can get 50-100 college basketball games a week without even paying extra for some type of package. And, I probably watch less college basketball than I used to, at least until the league and NCAA tournaments start. Maybe the lack of offerings made each one more special? For fantasy baseball, I'll take today over yesterday without hesitation. I remember playing in a Strat-o-Matic baseball league in the early 1980's where everything was done via good ol' U.S. Mail. Now, having sprung for the MLB package for the first time last year, I enjoyed the 2015 season by watching up to eight games at once many nights. (Yes, my wife is a saint.) If you think back to the way things used to be, it is amazing that we can watch eight games on the screen, with the ability to rotate the volume depending on the announcer or whether one of your players is pitching or up at the plate. The MLB At Bat app on my iPad and iPhone means that if something else is on the Telly, or I'm out and about, not only can I get every score and check on each of my players individually, but I know that Gerrit Cole's 43rd pitch of the game was an 83 MPH curveball that was outside to a left-handed batter. Good times indeed.

Mike

Great post Dan, but I can now only imagine that somewhere, in a remote third-hand store, some vacuum cleaner is thinking "now why don't he write"?

TV. My Dad was a TV repairman. Those guys are a rare today as milkmen, chastity and good journalism. But being the son of a TV repairman meant that we always had the oldest, worst TV in the neighborhood (kind of like the mechanic driving the clunker and the accountant who never balances his checkbook) that my Dad thought was just fine. Growing up, Cronkite always had a slightly left to right vertical slant to go with his green-hued skin. No rabbit ears. Had to go outside (usually barefoot...I grew up in the South after all) and move the aerial (which was metal) around when "adjustments" were necessary which was usually when it was raining hard due to a thunderstorm (i.e. lightning anyone?). My Mom would always say "Be careful!" Good one Mom...

Due to the rather warped image on the screen, all pitches were curveballs. The Braves were on radio (AM...also distorted) unless Aaron was closing in on another HR milestone. Then at least we got a few games.

No wonder I spent so much time outside rather than being glued to cable (wait, now cable is passe'...Netflix forever!), or looking at my computer, or scanning my phone. Flyers and grounders anyone?