I Bought a Car, the Salesman Said I Made a Value Pick

[DOUGHBOYS]

My wife and I were buying a new car yesterday. We went through the usual rigamorole. We checked online for cars that fit our needs, discussed the bells and whistles we'd like on the car, and checked the pricing. Those things all put in the rear view mirror, sorta speak, we picked a date to visit a car lot.
We walked onto the car lot and, of course, a salesman approached us almost immediately. I despise pushy salesman. Before he could say a word, I extended my hand and while introductions were made, I said, "Look, no offense at all, but we'd like to look at the cars were interested in before hearing from an outside source."
I know it was a little brutish, as my wife would comment, when the salesman walked away, but in my mind, I was thinking, 'If I want to draft Mike Trout with my first pick, I don't need an outside source trying to influence me in another direction'.

My wife and I found the car we wanted.
(And I just want to add this because I'm a cheap sombitch- When we, the customer, do the work of picking out the car, why can't we just go right to the accountant and pay for the car at a discounted price?
The dealership wouldn't have to give a penny to the salesman and we wouldn't have to pay him either because he has been of no service. It's not like a waitress in a restaurant who refills glasses and checks on us while using a product.
But, I digress.)
We hooked up with the salesman and, of course, he said that we had made a great choice. I asked him, "What would be a BAD choice on your lot?"
He smiled, looked at me a little tentatively and said, "I guess you can't make a bad choice on this lot. Every car is a winner."
Ugh.

We went into his office and he started talking Numerish. The car has 28658 turning radius. It gets 187568 miles to the gallon in the city, 84498 on the highway., and more 1865186587687265blahblah to explain what a great car we had chosen.
While my wife was nodding a long to numbers we had already discussed before arriving at the lot, he could see that I was a little agitated.
"Do you have a question about the car, Sir?"
"No, we did all the research on the stats." " "Do you know anything about baseball?"
"Yes, I'm a big Rockies fan."
"I replied, "Well, I can't help that, but my wife and I know this car isn't Charlie Blackmon. We know it's not one of the most expensive cars on your lot. We are buying DJ LeMahieu, we want a car that will run well and not break down like Tulo, understand?"
"I get it".

We started filling out the paperwork. He was jabbering away to my wife, who looked to him to be a captive audience.
He reminded me of an analyst of fantasy baseball on radio who could constantly talk and not really add anything new to what we already knew about a player.
Then, he made his mistake.
It came out of the blue as he was jabbering away about the brand and model.
But really, I only heard the last word of his sentence.
The word was 'value'.

I said, "Can you repeat your last sentence?"
"Sure, I said if your looking for a four door model with that kind of gas mileage, you can't get better value!"
I groaned.
"Who is the best player in baseball", I asked.
"Carlos Gonzalez".
"Well, you are a big Rockies fan, aren't you? But that's beside the point."
I said, "If I let you have three Carlos Gonzalez' to play in your make believe outfield, do you think your outfield would have the most possible value?"
He replied, "Yes."
"You said yes, because nothing has happened. This car has less than 10 miles on her. Carlos Gonzalez has yet to begin the season.
Present value means nothing!
You can't guarantee that CarGo won't get hurt, just as I can't guarantee that that car won't break down a lot sooner than I want.
You or I do not know what kind of season you'll get out of CarGo and I don't know the life span of that car!
In two words, value is a 'perceived notion!' "
A best guess, reliant on past variables.
DO YOU SEE VALUE IN 100 SHARES OF IBM?
IS THERE VALUE IN HAVING YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE ELECTED?
A SUNNY DAY TOMORROW?
IBM COULD DROP. THAT CANDIDATE MIGHT SUCK. WE COULD GET HIT BY A CAR ON A SUNNY DAY!
HOW MUCH VALUE IS IN THOSE THINGS NOW!?

My wife was shaking her head. The salesman, looking down.
I realized that I had probably raised my voice a bit. When passionate about a subject, my voice raises.
My wife knows it's passion. Others think of it as anger.
I looked at the salesman who was trying to avoid eye contact and quietly said, "Carlos Gonzalez is not the best player in baseball, and hopefully, our car won't break down before he does."
He smiled and said, "Well, I can almost guarantee that!"
"I said, "You have."
"The car comes with a warranty, unfortunately for you and the Rockies, CarGo does not."

When we got home, my wife would just look at me, shaking her head.
"Why does everything have to broken down into baseball terms with you?"
"Why can't we be like other people and just buy a car?"
I felt for her.
She's put up with me for a long, long time.
Knowing I understand things more clearly from a baseball perspective.
As everybody's wife should be to each husband, she is one of a kind.
And to me, THAT is value.

[swampass]

ha. awesome story.

[Edwards Kings]

Ha! Great story from my favorite curmudgeon. I have it on good authority that Dan new wheels are one of these below...take a guess...

[TOXIC ASSETS]

LOL one of your best write-ups.
Bottom line is that you didn't feel like dealing with the car salesman's BS.


Here's what Dan will be like at age 110:
http://nypost.com/2016/02/20/this-110-y ... raight-up/

"Value? Don't talk to me about value! I have no idea what value is. Now give me the damn remote, the ball game is on. This interview is over!"

[jdryan]

I love your stories but I started as a salesman and now own 2 websites, not all sales guys suck
still great story, in life we all are selling something, just not sales guys, so be easy on the next one
I bet that guy is still shaking his head.. Thank God for sales or I don't spend 5k - 10K on Fantasy sports every year

[KJ Duke]

Dan, weren't you in sales in a previous life ... did you ever use the "value" argument on customers?

[DOUGHBOYS]

I love your stories but I started as a salesman and now own 2 websites, not all sales guys suck
still great story, in life we all are selling something, just not sales guys, so be easy on the next one
I bet that guy is still shaking his head.. Thank God for sales or I don't spend 5k - 10K on Fantasy sports every year

Thanks.
I really didn't have anything against the salesman. He was just doing his job.
He just said the wrong things at the wrong times. Heck, I've done a lot of that myself!

[DOUGHBOYS]

Dan, weren't you in sales in a previous life ... did you ever use the "value" argument on customers?

Not a salesman, per se.
Built in route.

I was in a DC draft awhile ago when a drafter crowed about getting Josh Hamilton after the 30th round.
'A Starter after the 30th round! And they said value can't be found after the 3oth round!'
I held my tongue.
And thought about him when news came out that Hamilton is starting Spring on crutches.

In fantasy baseball, value is like sex to fifty pimply faced high school boys.
They all say they're getting it, but it's questionable if any really are.

[KJ Duke]

You weren't over-sharing Dan, that was a good story.

[DOUGHBOYS]

You weren't over-sharing Dan, that was a good story.

You're exactly right, KJ.
I thought it may have been a little too much without baseball being included.
Glad you got to read it.

[KJ Duke]

You weren't over-sharing Dan, that was a good story.

You're exactly right, KJ.
I thought it may have been a little too much without baseball being included.
Glad you got to read it.

We're not here just for the baseball. Life stories are just as good and often better.

[jdryan]

I agree life stories with a baseball kick are great.. was just sticking up for my poor sales guy Keep them coming, this Thread makes the offseason so much better...