Fantasy Camp

[DOUGHBOYS]

It's been over a year and the kids haven't aged a day.
Let's check in on them....

blazer68:
Have any of you fellas seen the Doughboy?

Edwards Kings:
I haven't seen him in weeks.

Spinning Seams:
Just follow the Doritos crumbs!

headhunters:
I think I saw him at another Camp.

MBendar15:
Another Camp, why would he want to go to another Camp?

Madcow sez:
Well we do have small issues here. We have had the same computers for 14 years!

Mike The Mouth:
Our technology is so bad, it can't even be called technology anymore! We just have 'nology!

Deadheadz:
There is chaos in my draft! Three picks in and nobody has taken Mookie Betts!

JohnP:
Has anybody seen Deadheadz and the Yahoo Kid in the same place? ...Anybody?

Tree Huggers:
The players that suck in the NFBC should get preference in KDS.

Money:
If you suck, you suck! You can suck from 1-15. Geez, ask for 16 in a draft. I prefer 12.

mdecav:
When will the adp be updated?

Gekko:
You should feel sheepish that you even said that!

Chest Rockwell:
Remember when we used to have mock drafts to get a feel for adp?

Joe Sambito:
Yep. Now we mock the mock drafts.

Principal Ambrosius:
Hey Boys? Have you seen Winston's Empire or All-in JD or Doughboys anywhere?

Navel Lint:
Yeah, and where is GlennerationX?

Principal Ambrosius:
He got good grades on the Dark Side.

chiznad21:
I don't know about Winston's or JD, but we heard Doughboy went to another Camp.

Principal Ambrosius:
Another Camp? Without telling me? Ugh. He probably went to one of those 91% Camps.

Fourslot40:
What's a 91% Camp?

Principal Ambrosius:
They give out grades that are too high. Unsustainable.

KJ Duke:
Well, if anybody is stainable, it's Doughboys. Pre-Breakfast, breakfast, and post-breakfast stains on his shirt before lunch!

(Principal Ambrosius walks away shaking his head)

Cobb:
Did you guys see what Principal Ambrosius wrote in the school paper?

rockitsauce:
What did he write?

Cobb:
He wrote something titled, 'So What About This Kyle Schwarber Dude'

Papa's nine:
Sad when somebody tries to be our age.

Walla Walla:
I miss the Doughboy. Especially at buffets.

NorCalAtlFan:
Screw him! He probably left to go to an easier Camp. Say what you want about our Camp, but we can kick any other Camps fantasy ass!

Gekko:
Hey Boys! Gather round! I've got a tip for you straight from Gekko Industries!

Group:
What is it? What's the tip?

Gekko:
Well, I have a reliable source that one of the pitchers in drafts has 'dead arm'.

Group:
Who? Who?

Gekko:
Yordani Ventura!!!

(The Group groans)

Gekko:
Too soon?

Group:
Too soon.

KJ Duke:
Actually, Ventura is ranked ahead of Jake Peavy in our defaults during drafts.

JohnP:
That's only right. Ventura can't hurt our peripherals like Peavy can.

Deadheadz:
That's right! I'm moving Ventura up my lists!

Rog:
I texted Doughboys the other day.

Ando:
Doughboy texts now? Talk about somebody who knows nothing about tech!

Rog:
Yeah, but he thinks an emoji is a sex toy, so he has a long ways to go.

ToddZ:
2/43

Bjoak:
He said he saw Doughboy in another Camp. Tested some stuff with him. He said he was raving about whoever said "Speed Never Slumps" never saw BJ Upton not hit. He said, you know, hardly anybody at that Camp seemed to listen or care. He was out of place there.

Yah Mule:
He said all that with a fraction?

Bjoak:
Numerish is a precise language!

ToddZ (smiling):
Fuck you!

Bjoak:
Ugh. Its been years and the only two words he knows in English are those two words.

Fwicker:
Pardon his French!

Principal Ambrosius:
Boys, it is time to hit the books! Move in an orderly manner, please.

Edwards Kings:
Yeah, like Joey Votto says, 'Walk don't run'!

(The kids walk down the hall, but Gekko blocks the door)

Gekko:
Hey, I just looked inside. Doughboy is there.

Toxic Assets:
Hey, let's give him the silent treatment!

Group:
Yeah!

(The kids enter the room)

Quahogs:
You know, it sure has been nice and peaceful here lately.

Bob Enzyte:
It's like somebody turned off a radio with just static!

Mike the Mouth:
And not that I would have my lips touch those toxins, but I've heard that Doritos are actually in stock in local stores!

Navel Lint:
Did you guys see that Bryan Kenny yesterday, he sure knows his stuff!

NorCalAtlFan:
I see a lot of VALUE in that statement. There is VALUE everywhere. Ever notice how both Votto and VALUE start with V's?
VALUE, VALUE, VALUE!

CC's Desperados:
Remember that fat kid that used to be here?

Sack:
I remember.

CC's Desperados:
You know what I liked about that kid?

Sack:
What?

CC's Desperados:
Nothing.

DOUGHBOYS:
Ok guys, I get it. The silent treatment. Very funny.

headhunters:
Something you could never do, eh Big Mouth?

DOUGHBOYS:
Probably not.

Navel Lint:
So are you back?

DOUGHBOYS:
I'm back.
Say what you want about our Camp, it's got the best kids in the world. You can take the kid out of the Camp, but you can't take the Camp out of the kid.
(Getting emotional)
You guys are the best. Like family to me.

Gekko:
Oh Geez! What a friggin baby!
You're not George Bailey coming back home.
But I am glad you're back.

DOUGHBOYS:
Why?

Gekko:
Because I love kicking your ass!!!

[KJ Duke]

[Edwards Kings]

We've been waiting for you...saved you a seat!



You knew you couldn't stay away long....



You are after all...



Anyway, your'e back...and you are

[Ando]

Keep 'em coming, Dan. Don't post much, but read all your work. Thanks for all your efforts.

[ToddZ]

Will probably get in trouble for this...

FANTRAXY CAMP

Doughboys: Hello? Anyone here? Bueller? Shit, I'd settle for the Yahoo Kid.

[DOUGHBOYS]

As quiet as the Dodger bullpen on a good Kershaw night.

[Joe Sambito]

All is again right with the world, Doughboys is back!!!