The Dumbass Writer and the Box Score

[DOUGHBOYS]

Get this write up.....

'Jorge Bonifacio
Bonafacio made an adjustment just before the All-Star break that's helped him reach the longest on-base streak (22) by a Royals rookies since 1987, Alec McChesney reports.
Fantasy Analysis
The 24-year-old got off to a good start in his first MLB campaign, but eventually ran into a mid-June slump. Pitchers started to get the book on Bonafacio and attacked with high fastballs, leading to a 37 point drop in the rookie's batting average. Like all good big leaguers do, he counterattacked with his own adjustments. By learning to lay off the high stuff, Bonafacio has put together a nine-game hitting streak entering Wednesday's contest.'

Some dumbass wrote that.
Seriously.
Joe DiMaggio turned over in his grave.
Not only does some kid get 'credit' for making it on base 22 games in a row, the writer also credits Bonafacio as 'making adjustments'.
Ugh.

Bonafacio is STILL struggling. He has managed a measly hit or walk a day that has enticed this writer into endorsing him.
Here's the truth...

Bonafacio has ONE...let me count 'them' again....yep...one rbi in July.
How's that 'adjustment doing for you, Bonafacio owners?
He has scored three times.
He hasn't homered for almost a month!
Three doubles in twenty days! His only extra base hits!
And yes, it is July 20.
Bonafacio has become the King of what I call, 'The Insignificant Other' of box scores.
You know, the computerese box score of 4-0-1-0 or 5-0-1-0.
That box score that helps NOBODY.
Not him, or his team, or his fantasy owner.
Yet, here is this writer singing his praises.
Dumbass.

4-0-1-0 box scores are horrible. The ugly insignificant other.
Worse even than the pity f***.
The pity f*** IS A 4-1-0-0 OR a 4-0-0-1 box score.
Here's your run or rbi, now shut the Hell up!

And I hate this box score...4-0-4-0. I know it helps the batting average, but cripes! Steal a base or something, willya?
You couldn't fall into a run scored or rbi?

And why does 4-1-2-3 look more impressive than 3-1-2-3 or even 2-1-2-3?

Arenado has a 5-4-5-7 with three homers box score.
That is like going on a date with the best looking girl in school, having her tell you she is easily aroused, but not near as easy as her two better looking sisters, whom she wants you to meet.

5-0-0-0 is the night at home with the mad spouse.

4-0-0-0 is the night at home without an internet connection.

1-0-0-0 is a fart.

I love the 4-1-1-3 box score. The Earl Weaver.

4-2-1-0. I don't trust it.

A base stealers delight is the 4-1-3-0 with three stolen bases.
Like a punt returner who runs sideways and wows the crowd, he really doesn't help his team much at all.
But, it excites the fans and fantasy owners love him.

I love the box score.
It offers a numerical description of a three hour event.
Genius.
Ever seen anybody do that for a play?
A musical?
A movie?
A concert?
Henry Chadwick did more for this sport than most will ever know.
And yes, he too, would think of the Bonafacio pundit, a dumbass.

[DOUGHBOYS]

A couple of additions to the box scores...

4-1-2-3
Don't get me wrong, I love this box score.
But when there is no homer, I call it 'the tease'.

The most hated box score is this ....
That's right. No name at all. I'd rather have a 4-0-0-0
At least my player was taking some shots.
No player, no fun, no stats.
This is where the daily game has it all over us.
I know, I know, missing games and 'resting of players' is part of the strategy of our game (anytime somebody wants to back up any part of the season long game, strategy is the first word mentioned) but the fun is watching, hearing about, and seeing your player perform.

1-1-0-0 is the roots for me in never drafting Joey Votto for many years.
He worked three walks and scored a run.
A top rounder!
Sabrs loved it.
The Reds loved it.
Votto loved it.
I hated it.
1-1-0-0 is a box score that should include a sb or two.

Let's not forget pitchers box scores.
I know that when my starting pitcher gets bombed, the first column I look at in the line score is Errors.
That gives me hope that some runs were unearned.

The most unusual pitching line I have ever seen was from four years ago by a well-respected Closer in today's game.
In this game he started. And he was terrible.
Here's the line...

1IP, 5H, 6 R, 6ER, 5BB, 2K

It was a Wade Davis Start in 2013.
And although this was both an ERA and WHIP killer, that isn't the whole story.
Davis may or may not have broken some kind of record for pitches thrown in one inning.
We'll never know because the practice of counting pitches is a product (insert eyeroll here) of this generation.
Davis threw 69 pitches!
Davis has confounded medical personnel by still being alive today, even pitching now and then.