If you've been reading this stuff, you know I call this virus thing 'Thad'.
Covid 19, or Corona Virus, or even the virus all sound intimidating to me.
Thad was an only child who was under loved and over spoiled.
Thad is the pretty boy we went to school with. The kind of guy that girls liked and us men had no use for.
We're mostly men here and we still have no use for Thad.
We know that giving the finger to a virus does little good. It means just a bit more in giving it to Thad.
Thad was the ninth hitter and bench warmer for your Little League team.
He sucked at sports.
In order to get close to sports, he had to get close to us.
That did not work for us.
Even before it was cool, we practiced social distancing from Thad.
When Thad grew up, he remained a pain in my ass.
He became a sabrmetrician.
Every Little League coach Thad ever had pleaded with him to take more pitches.
That a walk was as good as a hit.
Something they NEVER would say to their third hitter in the lineup!
Coaches knew thata walk wasn't as good as a hit. They knew that. But, it sounds good to a ninth hitter.
Coaches knew that a hit results in the possible advancing of more than just one base.
They also knew that it was hard for a ninth hitter to ever get a hit.
So they resort to 'A walk is as good as a hit'.
Thad took this walk thing to heart.
In becoming a sabrmetrician, he glorified the walk.The only outcome that he received accolades for in Little League.
He belittled the rbi of three-hole hitters.
He belittled Wins and Saves and everything else he couldn't do in Little League.
Almost belittling the swinging of a bat. Something he could never do.
He glorified the simple task of walking after four balls.
Thad was afraid that this analysis would lead to him being stuffed in a virtual locker.
Lord knows he was stuffed in enough real lockers in high school.
But alas!
Somehow his theories were being well received by baseball people.
And Thad drew close to us.
Ugh.
Now, in this other form, Thad is striking again.
This time, more vengeful.
More mean.
Thad has removed baseball completely.
It's what every pretty boy wants.
His main source of competition for girls was the jock.
Without sports, the jock gets no headlines and evens the field for Thad.
With his destruction, it is Thad getting the headlines.
Headlines he never received before.
Front page headlines.
Part of Thad thinks he is getting his revenge.
Another part KNOWS that things are still the same.
Thad is still not loved.
We still give Thad the middle finger.
We still avoid him.
Only now, it may be even worse for Thad.
Before, we would only try to avoid Thad.
We put up with him if getting close to us.
Now, we don't let him within six feet of us.
Thad is lonely and wretched.
Dying alone is one of the worst things, we as humans, can contemplate.
We would only wish it for our worst enemy.
We wish it for Thad.