Surly and Slowly

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DOUGHBOYS
Posts: 13088
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:00 pm

Surly and Slowly

Post by DOUGHBOYS » Mon May 11, 2020 7:17 am

I'm surly.
We all live in a 'day-to-day existence and lately it has really gotten to me.
Sports was a great outlet for this. Especially fantasy baseball.
Crickets.

There is axe throwing and bean bag tossing.
AXE THROWING AND BEAN BAG TOSSING! Those aren't sports!
'Classic' football, baseball, and basketball is being shown.
The things we used to call 'reruns' are now 'classics'.
Geez.

With my mood soured then as much as now, I got into a confrontation with an habitual slow drafter the other day.
And with my mood, why not rant about something that most of us rant about on our own time...the slow drafter.
In DC's, we now have a choice of two or four hour drafts.
Supposedly, a two hour draft lets folks know that quicker picks are expected.
Not everybody gets that.

Nobody should be a slow drafter in today's drafts.
Nobody.
There is no news. No updates.
Hell, we are only doing this now to preserve sanity and give ourselves the notion that there will be a season at all.
Instead, slowness.
So, let's go over a few things about our 'conversation' and slow drafters.

First, we have the 'peekaboo' drafter.
This drafters green light will go on and off a half dozen times while he is on the clock.
Drives us crazy.
I asked my slow-thinking friend about this.
He stated that he hasn't made up his mind in who to take.
WHAT!?
It's the middle of freakin' May!
Almost two months after the season would have started!
He is checking 'statistics', the draft board, hell, probably the weather and who is winning the bean bag toss.
Supposedly, he is leaving no rock unturned in making the best pick.
He calls this 'being thorough'. I call it being unprepared.
Moron.

Then, we have the "I have a life" drafter.
Bullshit.
If he had a life, he wouldn't be here playing this game. Especially in May, for pete's sake!
We're ALL here because something is missing in our lives.
There's a hole and we're trying to fill it.
"I have a life" implies that his life is more important than the 14 others who joined the draft.
Let's pretend that we have a generic President of the United States.
More than anybody else, we think of the POTUS as 'having a life', right?
Now, let's put that President in a fantasy draft.
First, we would still hope for quick picks.
Second, he sure as Hell won't have his green light go on and off. No time for that nonsense.
After all, if 'having a life' who has time to check and double check statistics and such.
Third, I guaranty that if the President participated in a fantasy baseball draft that he would be thinking about his players more than the Middle East.
Guaranteed.
I have a life....Harumph!

The habitual slow drafter is the worst. Not only do they put drafts at stand stills, they seem to enter every draft as well.
It is the Heberlig...ing of slow drafts. The Gabal ..ing of slow drafts.
By the way, I believe that the virus is the most powerful thing the earth has ever seen.
Why?
Because it has been the only force that stopped Eric Heberlig from participating in drafts.
These type of drafters are the opposite of the 'peekaboo' drafters.
They flip their middle finger at drafters from the start.
Mostly, there green light, if going on at all, will go on with minutes left in draft time.
And it doesn't matter if it's a two hour draft or four hour draft.
They stick it to other drafters.
Their time and lives, so much more important than our own.
They are especially cold because they also do not participate in chat.
They leave the general populace of the NFBC in the mood that I am in today.

We have had folks explain and not explain why they needed eight hours to make a pick.
Then four hours. Two hours. And even one hour.
All these drafters have one thing in common.
They could have used 'auto' to make their pick.
In choosing not to use 'auto', they choose to be slow and irritate drafters.
In the course of my 'conversation' with the slow drafter, I brought this up.
He told me that he paid his money to push the 'draft' button.
He paid his money to think about his pick for as long as he wants.
In other words, he feels entitled to whatever time is on the clock.
In a small way, I get that.
But in a much larger way, it's stupid.
Whether pushing the draft button or using auto, it has the same outcome.
A player is selected. The player wanted by that drafter.
'Be kind, rewind' comes to mind.
The drafter can do the right thing. 14 other folks would appreciate that.
If having a life, that would be a given.
On my tombstone-
Wait! I never had the perfect draft!

Bronx Yankees
Posts: 1238
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:16 pm

Re: Surly and Slowly

Post by Bronx Yankees » Mon May 11, 2020 2:37 pm

Totally agree, Dan. In this age of smart phones, e-mail notifications, and the advanced capability of Auto (which now lets you set-up different queues by round), there's no excuse for being habitually slow round after round. Yes, life (and shit) happens, and sometimes more time is needed. In my experience, when it is an unusual occurrence, most folks take it in stride. Of course, basic communication and common courtesy in the draft chat helps. Is it that tough to apologize for holding up the draft a long time? Is it impossible to give your fellow drafters a quick heads-up that you'll be unavailable during a certain window? Just amazes me how some folks couldn't care less about keeping 14 others waiting forever. Also, still boggled by owners that apparently make a pick, totally forget about the draft and their team, and apparently don't even think about their next pick until they're on the clock again. Oh, well, feels good to vent but these folks will never change.

One other slow drafter type to add to your list. Don't have a name for this one yet, but he's among the worst. This is the guy who may draft 2nd, 3rd, 13th or 14th. He takes forever to make his pick. The guy or guys at the end, who are in the draft room waiting patiently, then pick very quickly, in a matter of minutes (or less). Finally, some pace! Some momentum! No. When it gets back to the slowpoke on the turn, he's gone. Made everyone wait for hours for his pick, and then can't bother to stay in the draft room for two minutes to keep the line moving. He'll be back, maybe, in an hour or two. Even worse is when he's in the room when the draft gets back to him, but maybe just doesn't feel like picking; better to leave and make everyone else wait another hour or two for his next pick.

Just finished another MTM fast draft, which started on the heels of a super-slow 2-hour clock draft finishing. What a pleasure. Started 6 pm EST on a Friday night, all 15 owners were present and attentive, and we belted out almost 22 rounds before stopping for the night. On Saturday, we got through roughly another 20 rounds or so, and wrapped it up pretty early in the afternoon on Mother's Day. What a breath of fresh air after the prior draft. Really nice drafting with guys that ... like to draft. There's still hope; we'll just have to work harder to avoid the slowpokes.

Mike
Mike Mager
"Bronx Yankees"

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