Fantasy Jones and the Mrs.

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Posts: 13074
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:00 pm

Fantasy Jones and the Mrs.

Post by DOUGHBOYS » Sat Jul 23, 2022 4:32 pm

Fantasy Jones was enjoying himself. The wife was out with friends. The kids were off watching some friends play in a soccer match.
Fantasy Jones?
Fantasy Jones was watching a baseball game. His fantasy players were kicking ass. His Catcher had two home runs. Four Runs. Six RBI.
From a Catcher!
In the same game, his Outfielder was five for six.
In other games, his offense was clicking as well.

The door opened and his wife called out, "Fantasy, I'm home!"
"I'm watching a great game, c'mon in the living room."
Mrs. Jones sat down and was about to unload all the gossip her friends had bestowed on her, when she was struck by what she saw on the screen.
In a soft voice she said, "Honey?"..."I thought you were watching a great game?"
"I am.", said Fantasy Jones.
Louder, Mrs Jones cried, "The score is 25-3!" "25-3."
"How could that possibly be a great game?"
Fantasy Jones smiled.
"The score is of no matter when playing fantasy baseball. We take the stats of the players and use them for our teams."
"And right now, my team is kicking ass...I only hope my Pitchers do as well in the later games."

Mrs. Jones shook her head. Fantasy Baseball was weird. How can you watch a game and not worry about the score?
But she loved Mr. Jones and if he was happy, it made her feel the same way.
She excused herself to go make dinner.
While making dinner she heard all sorts of noises coming from Fantasy Jones.
Mrs. Jones put dinner on simmer and went back into the living room.
Her husband had switched games.
On the screen now was a split screen of two games.
She noticed that in one game, the score was 6-3. In the other game, it was 3-0.
"Are you enjoying these games?", She said.
I am loving the game on the left, not so much the game on the right."
I have the home pitcher in both games, so my pitcher is up 6-3 in one game and down 3-0 in the other."
Mrs. Jones was totally confused.
"Wait", she said, "You said that scores don't matter with Fantasy Baseball."
Fantasy Jones smirked.
"We were talking HITTING before, now we're talking PITCHING. I'm still using the stats from my pitchers but I also want them to win the game."
Mrs. Jones shook her head.
"You said it was all about stats, right?"
"Right", said Fantasy Jones.
"Well then how you can you be loving the game on the left where your pitcher allowed three runs more than the game on the right where your pitcher has also allowed three runs?"

"Ok, ok", said Mr. Jones, the score DOES matter with pitchers. "I want my pitchers to Win because that is a fantasy category. I know the pitcher on the left has given up the same amount of runs as the pitcher on the right, but I'm happier with him because he has a chance of winning the game."
Mrs. Jones was perplexed.
Pitchers are not involved with their team scoring runs, but you're happier with the pitcher on the left because his teammates have scored more runs.
Fantasy Jones laughed.
"It's not his doing at all. It's just something every fantasy owner goes through. Look, if each pitcher gave up three runs, five hits, one walk, and struck out five...they would be exactly the same....BUT, the difference is that if my pitchers team does not get tied or lose the lead for the rest of the game, my pitcher gets a Win!"
Mrs. Jones was beside herself.
"You don't own a pitcher, you own a whole team!"
Mrs Jones couldn't bear the conversation any longer. She excused herself to go get dinner.

Fantasy Jones watched as the relievers for his fantasy pitcher blew his lead.
He wanted to cry.
A perfectly great night of hitting had been turned sour because of players he hadn't rostered.
Now, he wanted to laugh.
The Mrs. was right.
In this case, he did own the whole team and it had let him down.
He turned off the tv and went to the dining room for supper....and a change of subject in conversation.
On my tombstone-
Wait! I never had the perfect draft!

Posts: 13074
Joined: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:00 pm

Re: Fantasy Jones and the Mrs.

Post by DOUGHBOYS » Wed Aug 10, 2022 11:05 am

Fantasy Jones was on pins and needles. His Closer had been struggling. When a Closer struggles, fantasy owners hate to see him come into a game, while on the other hand, love to see him come into a game with a Save on the line because it means his Manager still has faith in him.
It's something that the Mrs. would never understand.

While the Mrs. was reading her book, Fantasy Jones did an inward fantasy prayer that his Closer would simply do his job.
Of course, it is never that easy.
His Closer walked the first batter. The second batter hit a roller to right field for a single. Fantasy Jones cussed the shift.
With runners on first and third and no outs, Fantasy Jones Sphincter tightened. He had given up all hope of getting a Save with just a one run lead.
Now, it was trying to minimize the damage to his stats.
The next batter hit a rocket. Fantasy Jones slumped in his chair. The Mrs. noticed. "Trouble with the game, Darling?"
Fantasy Jones breathed a sigh of relief as the ball was caught at the fence. He had already conceded the Save in his mind and indeed, the sacrifice fly took that away, but at least it wasn't a three run homer.
"No troubles, I just need my pitcher to finish this ninth inning without any more runs."
"That's nice", she replied.

The pitcher did escape the jam. Now, it was time for Fantasy Jones to root for his offense.
Roto opens up some peculiarities.
One such peculiarity is that a pitcher can fail, as did Fantasy Jones Closer, but still reward his owner with a Win if the offense can score.
And sure enough, the offense did score a run.
Fantasy Jones let out a "YAHOO!"
The Mrs turned and looked at the screen, "The game is over, I'm glad your team won, Dear."
"Yeah, I needed the Win from my pitcher."
"The wife scrunched her face. "Was that a tainted Win?" , she asked.
Surprised, Fantasy Jones responded, "Well yeah, it was a little bit. Why do you ask?"
His wife turned to him and said, "Well, on the screen it had your pitchers name with a 'BS' 'Win' "
"Oh", Fantasy Jones said, chuckling, that means he blew the Save, but got the Win."
"But you know what? BS Win is perfect!"
On my tombstone-
Wait! I never had the perfect draft!

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