Real Life Meets Fantasy

[DOUGHBOYS]

There has been a dictionary started of NFBC words and other words that fantasy enthusiasts may not have heard. It is with that thought that I start this post. I don't want to add to that dictionary with this post. Rather, use some everyday phrases that pertain to NFBC fantasy baseball.
Here are a few.....

'Hey, I found a $20 in my old pants!'-
Fantasy-wise, this is akin to suffering through one of your pitchers getting 'Zito'd, or Porcello'd, or even Ogando'd.
(What a crappy week to have a pitcher whose last name ends with an 'O'!)
Only to realize to your absolute joy that you had the foresight to bench them!

'Fair Weathered Friend'-
Real life, this is a friend who sticks with you... till times go bad.
In fantasy, we could see the Porcello's and other 'O's getting ripped.
But, two weeks later, with a home matchup vs. the Astros, there we are, making a $2 bid, knowing that we're going to fair weathered friends in kicking his ass to the curb the next week, no matter how well he does vs. the Astros.

'Foreign exchange student'-
We do it every year now. We take in somebody from a foreign country (usually Asia or Japan...is that the same?) without knowing a thing about them. All we know, is that they were proficient enough in their country and that they want to come to ours to see if they can be successful here.
Raise your hand if you saw Ryu, or Fujikawa, or Iwakuma throw before drafting them.
These kids will stay in our home (roster) for a year.
Sometimes they feel like one of our own kids. Sometimes we want to boot them back to the country they came from.

'Impulse Buyer'-
These are the folks that play the daily games. Following their players in the NFBC day-to-day does not give them enough of a buzz while shopping or looking at everyday, mundane NFBC stats. So right before checking out, they reach for that energy drink by the checkout stand that is the daily game. Pumped up, they're good to go for another few hours.

'Do you feel lucky, Punk? Well do ya?!'-
We've all done this. Later in the season, we've seen our buddy, Rick Porcello pitch two good games in a row.
We know the history.
We know he sucks.
We just know it.
And yet....
We know he has a double start.
And we swear, as soon as he is rostered and in our starting lineup, that we hear a .44 Magnum going off in our heads.

'Why can't you be like your brother?!'-
While watching a game, we see one of our hitters ground into a fielders choice, knocking in a run, then stealing second base and scoring on a base hit.
At the same time that is happening, another of our players has hit two balls to the warning track and got robbed on a diving catch by the opposing outfielder. In his other at bat, he singles.
So at the end of the day, when reviewing the box scores, we see this-
4-1-0-1, sb
4-0-1-0
And wishing the second player could have had as good a day as the first.

'Today, a dental appointment'-
This may be a personal thing. But I fear dentists. It's not the pain inflicted in my mouth, as much as the utter and sheer non-control I feel in being in a tilted chair with no control whatsoever, while a guy is hunched over me doing unspeakable things.
We'll go back to our good friend, Rick Porcello.
We see he gives up two-three hits and a run to lead off the first inning. We're screwed. We're powerless. He is working on our teeth and we can do nothing to stop it. Get off your ass, Leyland! Stop the pain! Somebody hit a line drive up the middle at Porcello!
Inside our heads, we're already screaming for the pain to stop. Please God, unhook the drool bib and pull this guy out of the game before it gets worse!
But the drool bib stays in place as does Leyland's ass.
We leave the dentist's office feeling crappy despite the novocaine, only to wish we could displace that novocaine after finding out what Porcello did to our rectum.

'Walk a Mile in my Shoes'-
Looking at other player's roster's you see a poor sombitch that has five injured player's on his bench. You think, 'wow, it would suck to be that hamstrung!'
Three weeks later, we are looking at Daniel Delcalso, admiring his positionality, all the while knowing that just three weeks earlier he was merely faab fodder and also knowing that now, we are that poor sombitch.

[DOUGHBOYS]

Let's add one more to this thread....

'Getting the Joke the Next Day'....

Fantasy-wise, this is when one of our benched players goes crazy.
He hits .700. Has three homers. Has six rbi, six runs, with a stolen base.
It is with great haste that we insert this guy in our next lineup.
But he fizzles.
We've missed the punchline and now, the joke is on us.

[King of Queens]

What a crappy week to have a pitcher whose last name ends with an 'O'!

Hey Dan!

Gallardo (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 BR, 6K, W) and Arroyo (8 IP, 2 ER, 7 BR, 6K, ND) say "Hello!"

[DOUGHBOYS]

What a crappy week to have a pitcher whose last name ends with an 'O'!

Hey Dan!

Gallardo (6 IP, 1 ER, 6 BR, 6K, W) and Arroyo (8 IP, 2 ER, 7 BR, 6K, ND) say "Hello!"

Dammit! You're right as usual, Glenn!