Fat Guys Do Not Make Comebacks

[DOUGHBOYS]

I've said before that larger players are less injury prone.
It's for a bunch of reasons.
They don't have to dart everywhere and put themselves in harm's way like 'regular' players.
For the most part, they're sloths.
Usually pitchers or first basemen. Two positions that don't lend themselves to injury much. I know, I know, you'll say that pitchers are especially injury prone.
True.
But most of those injuries have to do with the arm and when that happens, it won't matter if they're fat, thin, short, tall, stupid, Dominican or Vulcan. The arm is the arm.

Prince Fielder, CC Sabathia, Adam Dunn, Carlos Lee are all part of the Big Boy club.
Sure, occasional injuries happen to big guys.
Ryan Howard tried to get out of the box too fast (over-exertion, a big no-no for big boys) and ended up hurt for the better part of this year.
Sabathia is starting to show his age more than body type with his injury.
David Ortiz and Mark Reynolds got thrown out of the Big Boy club for slimming down...Look at them now,
tsk, tsk.
There is a guy pitching for the Mets today, his name is McHuge, ok, maybe it's McHugh, even so, I am so hoping he's a Big Boy to go with that name.

Big Boys do not make comebacks. They simply fade slowly (how else would a Big Boy fade?) away like Livan Hernandez.
So it is not without surprise that I saw that Bartolo Colon was hit with a suspension yesterday.
His waters were murky with the Yankees with blood trading or doping or spinning or whatever they do with an athlete's blood these days. Something that ARod did too after seeing the new Colon.
Is it just me or do you see ARod doing a Bruce Jenner and making himself plastic after his playing days?
Ha, Colon, fat guy post, I just got it.
Anyway, Colon made a fat guy comeback. And fat guy's do not make comebacks.
Maybe he made the blood thing very public to throw the scent off the real trail. I don't know.
Anyway, Colon did anything to get back in the show. The risk/reward was certainly there for him.
And even after getting caught, the reward was probably worth the risk.
He was actually viable in the Show.

This isn't a post to scold Colon or others for taking steroids or ped's or blood letting or whatever else these athlete's want to do to go from Frankenstein to a Monster.
That's their choice.
In fact, this post is just the opposite.
Look, we can't control who takes these things much as we can't foresee our best pitcher blowing his arm out tomorrow.
It's fruitless.
So, this post is encouraging your response.
Let's guess the next player to get hit with a 50 game suspension.
As of now, I am hoping to be in Las Vegas for drafts next year. If you guess a player that will get a suspension in response to this post before that draft, I will personally hand you a 'Family Sized' package of the Doritos of your choice at the draft.
You know that 'Family sized' was 'regular sized' before the economy hit, so by then, Doritos may come out with a 'Party Sized' package that reflects the old 'Family sized' package, if so I'll bring that package.
We could never have too many Doritos.

Rules are that you can only pick one player and it can't be a player that somebody else has picked.
I'll start the ball rolling. Heck, maybe I can go out and buy me some Doritos....ok, I'm lying, I already have, but I'll make a guess anyway.

My player is Wilin Rosario.
The ball seems to take an unnatural leap off his bat.
Balls that outfielders come in on, find their way over the fence.
Rosario also has the Latin trait that seems so dominant with outlawed substances
His body type screams future Big Boy, but I'm wondering if that's him or the unnatural substance.
Anyway, I'm hometowning it and pissing off more Rockies fans in my area by stating that Wilin Rosario is my choice for next suspension.
And by the way, if I hit on Rosario, my Dorito of choice at present is Cool Ranch.
It is only fitting that we are picking a dip, to win Doritos, right?

[headhunters]

can't really see them telling anyone but him if he tests positive- sort of a " it is time to retire"- but i will say jeter.

[Rainiers]

can't really see them telling anyone but him if he tests positive- sort of a " it is time to retire"- but i will say jeter.

Interesting choice, I wouldn't have thought of Jeter as a user...but now that you mention it, he has been playing way over his head and that is the first red herring, isn't it? But I think Derek is too smart to be caught...

Edwin Encarnacion is my choice. Jose Bautista got tested 16 times after the All Star break last year and never got busted, but Jose is really smart like Jeter and not likely to get caught. I have no idea how smart Edwin is, but the way he is playing, at his age, who he is associated with, etc, leads me to believe he is using AND is getting tested real often. He better not slip up if he is using...or I may be eating some Doritos in Vegas!

[KJ Duke]

Edwin Encarnacion is my choice. Jose Bautista got tested 16 times after the All Star break last year and never got busted, but Jose is really smart like Jeter and not likely to get caught. I have no idea how smart Edwin is, but the way he is playing, at his age, who he is associated with, etc, leads me to believe he is using AND is getting tested real often. He better not slip up if he is using...or I may be eating some Doritos in Vegas!

Good pick, I'm late to the party ... I've been waiting for Encarn to get busted even before I read this post. He's having an unreal season and has been as suspiciously up and down as anyone in the league over the last 3-4 seasons. Since he is taken, I will select a guy who I hope doesn't get busted this season, because he's really helping my Diamond team.

Alex Rios ... thank you for helping me out this year, but I just don't trust the season you're having. Your history, likewise, looks suspicious. I could throw out a few more names, including one of his teammates, but I don't want to muddy the waters for Dough's contest here.

[Ando]

I'll pick up KJ's crumbs.

I had my list narrowed down to two, but since this guy's career resembles Melky's in so many ways in my opinion, plus the fact he battled ankle injuries for what seemed like 5 years and is hitting for a semblence of pop for the first time I can remember.......

I'll go with Alejandro de Aza.

Oh, and he just pulled an oblique. He's a freaking posterchild!

[KJ Duke]

Dough, I hope it's not Wilin, but if you win it I'll bring your ranch style Doritos. This is the real Dorito's Bowl, not that fake college game.

[Money]

Fernando Rodney!!!

Sorry about that Doughy. My mother always told me I didn't take direction very well

[DOUGHBOYS]

Beltran
Bourne
Willingham

How about a couple of pitchers:

Dickey and my personal favorite out of all of them? Fernando Rodney.

Only one name, Joe!

[Joe Sambito]

I'll play DOUGHBOY's slanderous Skip Bayless game.

For my criteria:
1. Has had some significant success at one time, but not consistent success.
2. May have gotten spooked by stringent testing, stopped and performance plummeted.
3. Decided he was better off on the good stuff, testing be damned.
4. Is on Low Talkers' team.

I'll go with....Aaron Hill.

[low talkers]

That is excellent Sambito! I would have said Aaron Hill as well, but would much rather go with someone on your team. Maybe a guy who looked almost done at age 32, but has improved every year up into his mid 30's. How about Paul Konerko.