The Girl That Got Away....Or 'Screw You, Fabio!'

[DOUGHBOYS]

Every year about this time, there seems to be a gag order on the mentioning of players. Sure, we'll see $$$scouting reports$$$ on fellas like Scott Kazmir, but how we really feel about players starts getting bottled up.
Most of the posts turn to the excitement of the Big Drafts and how we can't wait to see/meet each other in Vegas or NY or Chicago.

It's a little silly. In October we will fight tooth and nail over our love for Russell Martin or Adam Dunn or Giancarlo Stanton (I still have a hard time with Giancarlo...may as well be Fabio) on the Message Boards.
This time of year though, those players become 'our' players and the less said about them, the better.
There's no rule for this behavior. We're all free to publicly proclaim our love for Leonys Martin if we want, but we don't.

It's a little like meeting 'that girl'. A girl who you have a feeling will be 'the one'. After meeting her, we tell nobody. She's 'our girl' and to speak of her may mess it up for the future. After all, the girl doesn't even know she's our girl yet.
No use spreading the news.

So, we fall quiet. We curse RotoWorld every time they mention our girl's name. Our girl hit two homers. Dammit, we say!
We knew she could do that, but now other guys might start taking a stronger liking to our girl.
So, we start conniving. In order to woo the girl away from other suitors, we move her up our draft lists. This is like buying her flowers and candy. Were wooing her, all the while, hoping the competition isn't doing the same.

In the case of Giancarlo, we've made the sacrifice of putting him ahead of more adp friendly players like Fielder and CarGo.
We're hoping the flowers and candy are enough and that one of those other guys isn't offering a car by moving him ahead of not only Fielder and CarGo, but also ahead of Pujols and Votto.
Damn, he'd be offering the moon to that girl.

Finally, draft day comes and we know that Stanton just has to be our girl. We set our kds at nine, and we did in fact, receive that pick. We hold our breath as other drafters pick the other pretty girls. With the first picks of the drafts, those CEO's and Doctor's are offering girls like Trout, Cabrera, and Braun a lifetime of luxury. We know we can't give our girl all that.
So, we settle.
Trout, Cabrera, and Braun are all trophy wives anyway. Girls to flaunt and show off. We're just looking for a year of a beautiful relationship. A steady partnership for a year.

Picks four, five, six, and seven are taken. They haven't taken our girl!
We only have to hold our breath for one more pick!
The girl of our dreams is going to be our partner for a year!
Woo hoo!

'Drafter number eight, you're on the clock'.....
The heart pumps as we see the drafter beside us fidget with some papers.
He seems undecided.
How in the dirty Hell can you be undecided in the first round?
What a Schmuck!
A guy like this doesn't deserve a girl like Stanton.
She is just so dreeeeamy...ah...and those two homers he clubbed...

"PICK EIGHT TAKES Giancarlo Stanton!'

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....
That's our girl!!!!

....and off our girl goes to the arms of some guy that looked like he didn't have a clue. He doesn't deserve a girl like that!
A guy that didn't want or woo her as much as we did. A guy that won't treat her as well as we would have.
What a waste.

It is only then that we hear another voice....'Drafter nine, you're down to 15 seconds'
What!?
Can't you see we're hurting here?
We just got dumped by our best girl!
It hits us that we look even more unsure of our pick than drafter number eight.
We take CarGo. We know that CarGo is faster than the other girls and that we may get lucky.
But our heart was with the girl who we'd been courting the whole off season. The wasted money in flowers, candy, and even setting up a kds for that girl. We couldn't have done much more.
We know that we'll be going to bed with the faster girl tonight and it may be satisfying for our libido.
Still, we did everything for the girl that got away.
Including not mentioning her name.

Now, we're forced to start a relationship with a new girl. Sometimes these relationships work out. But, we'll still be admiring Stanton from far away. We'll wish the best for her, while at the same time, the worst for the mangy dog who stole our girl.
It's just the way our reality show rolls.

[Edwards Kings]

And by August, our girl Fabio looks like a poster child for the Krispy Kreme diet and next best thing Cargo has just about locked up membership in the 30/30 club so is just as pretty as Ann-Margaret....

What? It could happen!