A Closer's Mentality???

[DOUGHBOYS]

I hate myself every fantasy draft and I don't think I'm the only one.
All drafts start out like sitting in the drivers seat of a new car. The feeling is exhilarating.
As we build our teams, we see everything coming together. We draft players with five category potential. Some with awesome power or judy speed. We get a pitcher with 200 k's in mind, then two of them. Woo hoo!

Then....it happens.
It happens in every draft. We have to climb out of the front seat of that new car and draft.....a Closer.
Worse! We even do it twice.
The Closer is like going from rich corinthian leather to vinyl seats.
The Closer is like listening to a sixth grade band.
The Closer is like a gin and tonic without the gin.

The Closer is a one category player.
I hate one category players.
The Closer is the definition of a necessary evil.
So, we cool our jets, hold our nose, and yell out, "JONATHON PAPELBON dammit!"
No girlie, his name isn't dammit, and he's not in the d's, it should be, but it's just Jonathon Papelbon.......and I hate myself.

No matter how we try, we never look cool taking a Closer.
Taking a Closer is like having a zit on your face and asking a pretty girl out.
Even if she says yes, we don't feel good about it, thinking she just felt sorry for us.

We can take Craig Kimbrel in the third or fourth round, but even that's not cool.
We know there are still five category players out there. And even if we convince ourselves, that with the k's, Kimbrel is a two category player, it doesn't ease the pain much.

Closers are like choosing up sides for a baseball game and all that's left is the girl with the dolly or the boy who fell twice walking to the field.
Then when the game starts, and after we've picked the girl with the dolly, every ball seems to be hit to her.
Same in fantasy.
In fantasy, we are wrapping up a good night.
We got three homers
We got two stolen bases
We got a Win
And then Papelbon gives up five runs.
For the rest of the night, we're not thinking about the good things. We're thinking about Jonathon Papelbon dammit and how much he looks like the girl with a dolly.

We could punt Closers, but then we'll lose out on cashing in that league by one point.
We'll look at the standings and stare at that last place finish in Saves.
And WE feel like the girl with the dolly.
There is no escape.
Closers are like ghosts. They will haunt us till our dying day.
And at the funeral, regular folks will wonder why there is a dolly and a picture of Jonathon Papelbon dammit in our casket.
Fantasy owners will just shed a tear.

[DOUGHBOYS]

Just following up on this.....
We all have different goals when it comes to Closers. Unless it is Kimbrel early in the draft season, I don't like being among the first to draft a Closer. Chapman and Jansen are human. They can suck. They're not THAT much better than the Closers behind them either. They just seem more appetizing because of peripherals....and the Closers behind them are all grouped together, one, really no better than the other.
Given this, my plan is to be the last drafter to get two Closers. If somebody takes their Closer with the 10/11 picks and I take mine at 13/14, I at least feel like I have an advantage.
Saves are like Wins, we really don't know how many each Closer will get.
Jim Johnson has the most over the last two years. Raise your hand if you're in a hurry to draft Jim Johnson.
We can draft peripherals, but we're fooling ourselves. Frieri had 98 strike outs. Same as Kimbrel.
And Frieri was barely holding onto his job.
There are three things we want from a Closer when we draft him before the season.
1) We want him to be 'The Man'
2) We want him to get a lot of Saves.
3) We want him to keep his job all year.
Number three is the tough one. A hitter can go 0 fer 20 and a Manager won't blink an eye.
A Closer blows two games, and that Manager is looking for options.
Which means we're looking for options.
Sometimes, I think the fellas that punt Saves have the right idea.
They save themselves a lot of grief.