Funniest Quotes or Antidotes from Baseball People...

poopy tooth · Post by **poopy tooth** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 9:08 am

Was just reposnding to another thread, when I remembered Randy Johnson saying something to the media in NY, like "Don't get smart with me." and it made me think. What is the funniest quote you heard a baseball person say?

One of them had to be Lou Pinella after being separated from Rob Dibble in the locker room after an argument came to blows and choke holds. Lou was managing Dibble on Reds at the time. Lou said, "I wanted to treat you like a man, but you didn't want to be." (Probably had to see it to see the look on his face.)

Another thing that made me laugh was in a game when LA was playing the Cubs in Chicago. Tommy Lasorda came out to argue with the home plate umpire. It went on for a few minutes...Steve Stone joked, "We are not responsible for any lip reading any viewers may be doing."

Lasorda was really giving it to him...He looked like he was going to explode. You could read his lips, "You must be out of your f***ing mind." Every other word was F this or F that. He was in the umps face pointing (and the ump was giving it right back. It looked like any second, it was going to come to blows...then he got thrown out, the fans at Wrigley stood up and cheered as he walked back to the dugout, and you could see him start to laugh when he reached the steps and Mike Scoscia whispered something to him as he passed. Anger gone, just like that.

One last one...John Kruk was on a late night show, and the host said how (I think it was Rickey Henderson) offered $20K to a player to get his number back when joining the team. The host asked what Kruk asked for to give up his number to a player joing the team. Kruk answered, "Two cases of beer." Kruk was definitely one of the funnier people in baseball. Remember when he came back after having his cancerous testicle removed? He wore a t-shirt that said, "If they don't let me play, I'll take my ball and go home."

Kind of seems like there aren't as many characters in the game as there used to be. That's a real shame, becuase some of these people were hilarious.

Anyway, sorry to take up your time. Was just looking for a luagh. If anyone is interested and has anything funny they remember, feel free to share.

poopy tooth · Post by **poopy tooth** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 9:16 am

Ok, one more...this is a quote from Mike Greenberg from Mike and Mike in the morning after Curt Schilling called his own press conference after winning the infamous "red sock" game.

"No one is a bigger of Curt Schilling than Curt Schilling is."

For anyone who finds humor in strange things like this, you have to read Chest Rockwell's post about Randy Johnson on the Randy Johnson Value in Arizona Thread...

poopy tooth · Post by **poopy tooth** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 9:17 am

Damn it...I left out the key word..."No one is a bigger FAN of Curt Schilling than Curt Schilling"

DiamondKing · Post by **DiamondKing** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 1:05 pm

Not a quote from a player.But,a good story.IN 1978 I attended a Phillies v Braves series in atlanta.Bake Mcbride had a great game,if I remember right he hit for the cycle.After the game I asked him for his autograph as he was getting on the team bus.He cussed me out like a sailor(I asked politely).This is the funny part about three or four years later I asked for his autograph again in spring training.He cussed me out again!I have always wondered if he cussed out all teenage kids,somehow remembered me,or if I did something?

Vander · Post by **Vander** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 2:19 pm

Kind of sad. I used to be a kind of Bake Mcbride fan back then. My expirience with the Tigers wasn't very flattering to guys like Jack Morris or Kirk Gibson either. I'm not sure i've ever met anyone with a bigger ego than Gibson and Morris just seems to be a class A jerk.

Vander · Post by **Vander** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 2:37 pm

My favorite Kirk gibson story goes back to Spring 1987 I walked in the back door to Tigertown everyday and the first door on the right was the trainer/whirlpool room. The only place you ever would need to look for Gibson. He and his entourage (who knows who these people were they just drooled all over him, they were guys too). I would walk past, you would hear Kirk say something (I never knew what) and there would be laughter thoughout. I joined the Tigers ncaa basketball pool. Was the last one in. Made my picks in a few minutes and gave em my $10, a large sum for me in those days. When it got to the final 4 I had it clinched. Nobody could catch me. BTW Boots Day came in second if anybody remembers him. Gibsom apparently wanted to know who this guy was that was running away with the pool and enlisted his cronies to find out. I walked in as usual the next day and one of them says "there he goes". Not knowing what I was wanted for, and fearing the worst, I took off and tried to lose myself. They would have none of it, caught me and brought me back to Kirk (there really was nowhere to hide and this was the only time I ever was in the trainers/whirlpool room for obvious reasons). Kirk only wanted to know who won the pool and was shocked it was me. He then proceeded to tell me why it should've turned out differently. I just nodded (couldn't get a word in anyway). After he was done letting me know what went wrong, I just said thanks and left. He may be the resident genius, but I've got the cash.

Vander · Post by **Vander** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 2:49 pm

3 short Jack Morris stories not as funny to me as the Gibson one. Immediatly after winning his abritration case he called a press conferance to complain about how he was cheated by the Tigers and he had to lower his bid to make sure he won. I think it made him the highest paid pitcher in baseball at the time. First time he ever talked to me, I watched him jog once around the field at a pace I walk faster than, literally. I was standing by the gate that goes off the field. He just looks at me and says Bull s#%t. Changes from his jogging suit and goes home. His workout for the day consisted of a 5 minute walk/jog around the field and was done for the day. He also let his new puppy in the clubhouse where it would tear up everything and anything it could get into. Done on purpose I'm sure to get back at those evil Tiger management guys.

Sack · Post by **Sack** » Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:20 pm

Winter of 89 I went to Daytona Beach, Fla to the Harry Wendelstedt School for Professional Umpires. Alot of todays umps served as instructors. Charlie Reliford was our lead instructor and one of the better story tellers of the group. Reliford recounted how a woman named PAM POSTEMA ( some may remember ) attempted to make it to the Majors as the first female umpire. Charlie added that some of the hard core baseball lifers were extremely hard on her. One night while working a game in the minors, PAM was behind the plate and not having one of her better games. One of managers yelled out to her "You had better make it as an umpire because you will never make it as a prostitute". The mask came off and Pam headed towards the dugout to toss the manager out when the manager yelled out "AT LEAST A PROSTITUTE KNOWS HOW TO WORK THE CORNERS"! As the Hawk would say....."He Gone"

Chest Rockwell · Post by **Chest Rockwell** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 2:57 am

Originally posted by Vander:

3 short Jack Morris stories not as funny to me as the Gibson one. Immediatly after winning his abritration case he called a press conferance to complain about how he was cheated by the Tigers and he had to lower his bid to make sure he won. I think it made him the highest paid pitcher in baseball at the time. First time he ever talked to me, I watched him jog once around the field at a pace I walk faster than, literally. I was standing by the gate that goes off the field. He just looks at me and says Bull s#%t. Changes from his jogging suit and goes home. His workout for the day consisted of a 5 minute walk/jog around the field and was done for the day. He also let his new puppy in the clubhouse where it would tear up everything and anything it could get into. Done on purpose I'm sure to get back at those evil Tiger management guys. Funny how one experience can probably be the exception- I got to meet Jack Morris the day after the main event last year at a Twins/DRays spring training game could not have been nicer.

I had always heard terrible things about him.

Chest Rockwell · Post by **Chest Rockwell** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:06 am

I will simply go with my 10 nicest players not in any order- my ten least nice not in any order. I will try to go with multiple experiences to keep someone from just having a bad day.

Nicest

Bagwell, Gwynn, Glavine, Mauer, Ryan Howard, Zito, Damon, Arod (Seattle), Ron Santo, Frank Thomas

Not so nice

Bonds, Griffey, Kenny Lofton, Reggie Jackson, Johnnie Bench, Urbina, Clemens, Arod (tex and NY), Burrell, Jacque Jones.

saw Lofton tell a guy in a wheelchair to get the f**k out of his way.

Yep Arod on both lists- have 3 great experiences with him early in his career, 3 bad ones after the 252 million.

Bonds takes a lot of heat but Griffey is just as rude and unappreciative of the people in the seats.

Not a bigger breath of fresh air in the game than Ryan Howard and how he treats folks.

DiamondKing · Post by **DiamondKing** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 11:36 am

I look at it like anything else I have met some really good guys and some real jerks in baseball.When I was a young kid going to Rangers spring training games in pompano,Fl Jim Sundberg,and Mike Hargrove could not have been nicer.I will never find a person who says a bad word about Elrod Hendicks(RIP). When Dave Winfield was with the yankees he came out of the dugout and a bunch of people were looking for his autograph,He said "man I want some peanuts".My friend ran and bought two bags of peanuts.We each tossed him a bag.He said "now these two guys want my autograph"signed for just the two of us,and walked away.

poopy tooth · Post by **poopy tooth** » Thu Dec 28, 2006 1:28 pm

Not a baseball player, but at a Phillies game several years back, there was a rain delay. On the jumbotron, they began showing several fans who stayed in their seats and were getting wet from the rain. The camera quickly showed Charles Barkley, who just a couple months or so prior had gotten caught with a gun in his car while playing for the 76ers.

He was in the same color seats at the vet that we were in. My father spotted him and asked me if I wanted to go over and try to get his autograph. I was about 12. When I got there, he looked at me when I asked for his autgraph, told me to sit down and took my Phillies program. (I guess he didn't want a lot of attention.) Anyway, I ended up talking to him and his friend for about 30 minutes. He bought me a hot dog and a soda as the rain let up and the vendors came back out.

He was a really nice and funny guy. (A little too big for the seat he was crouched down in, but I remember him laughing when his friend asked, "do you know who this is?" I answered, "The guy with the gun in his car."

He may not be a role model as he stated, but he's also not an a**hole like many other athletes. At least not that night.