I laughed my ass off!
It wasn't that I was laughing with these guys. I was laughing at them.
Moronic statements almost surpassed by the ego with which delivered.
These guys would ask themselves who would be the best players to roster for the day.
Here is a taste of what they said....
"Who do you like at third base?"
"Well, I like a guy who is not going to cost you an arm and a leg, but he has been hitting very, very well.
And that would be (pause for effect) MISTER (Mister is emphasized to make the player seem larger than life)
(Like he cannot possibly fail because MISTER is so macho)
Miiiiiiiiiike (the i's said for a long time as if his name meant much more than it really does)
MOUSTAKAS
(The last name also said with a lot of emphasis. His name said like that guy who once introduced boxers before a match)
And then...MOOOOOOOOOOse!
(Added bonus. He has a nickname!)
And after giving Moustakas their seal of approval, they do not bolster their choice by telling us about Moustakas.
Nope, they start running down the pitcher Moustakas is facing.
Calling him Andrew 'Crashner' as if that will hurt Cashner and make him pitch poorly.
They then start to inform us that all left handed hitters in the Royals lineup would be good choices for the evening.
I thought to myself, 'them why the big build-up for Moustakas?'
The betting isn't near as much on Moustakas as it is against Cashner.
They went on to tout fellas like James Paxton, Wil Myers, and others.
I didn't really care about their touts because I don't play the daily game.
But the way the whole thing was delivered was more like Barnum and Bailey.
Sort of like, 'You must believe me because I put a MISTER in front of a player with a nicknames, name!'
They went through all their touts. Each one of them...
MISTER Robinson Cano
MISTER Wil Myers
MISTER Blah Blah.
Even a blind squirrel knows that every player in baseball can be addressed Mister.
Can you imagine us touting players on the message boards like that.
Maybe Gekko has missed the boat.
Instead of doing a 'ALERT $$$$$$$$$' Tanaka will be going in the 4th round by the time Main Events start'
If calling him MISTER Tanaka, maybe that would lure even more early drafting of Tanaka.
Anyway, I shook my head as I arrived at the softball park to work for the night.
I wondered how idiots like these could get on the air and have any sort of following at all.
Really, I could have listened to two sabr's battle it out over Moustakas numbers than listen to those two calling him....
MISTER MOOOOOOOOSEtakas to increase his credibility.
And just a note, Cashner shut out the Royals and Moustakas went 1-5 on the night.
So, of course, they were off base.
Yet today, I'll bet they tout others by calling them MISTER again
In their pursuit of trying to be right, in five days, it'll be MISTER CASHner and Mike MISStakas to these two.
Ugh.
When did fantasy baseball analysts get replaced by carny barkers?
Are there any shows that year long players can enjoy?
Let me know, I'll give it a try.
