Originally posted by DOUGHBOYS:
I'd be willing to bet that Readers Digest would be able to condense this thread to half a page.

Let me give it a shot:
IOLA, WI -- Greg Ambrosius, founder of the National Fantasy Baseball Championship, announced on April 21st that the under-appreciated and often-mocked Friday DL Rule needed some "fine-tuning." At some point over the previous few days, it had come to Mr. Ambrosius's attention that several owners were adulterating the Friday DL Rule in ways that were not in line with the rule's original intention. Among these transgressions were (i) the Colorado Loophole, (ii) the Baker/Scherzer Loophole, and (iii) the Smoltz Loophole. Mr. Ambrosius attempted to close off all potential loopholes effective immediately, which was three weeks into the 2009 season. This resulted in several owners -- most vocally among them Mssrs. Duke and Gekko II -- adamantly protesting the termination of these loopholes. Phrases such as "BS" and "refund" were used, and Mr. Ambrosius got upset with what he felt were personal attacks. After a 75 minute session of basketball therapy, Mr. Ambrosius returned to the boards and announced that the Baker/Scherzer Loophole would be closed off through an intensive manual investigation conducted each week of all 160 NFBC leagues (this task was assigned to Mr. Kessenich). The other two Loopholes, as well as others that smarter-than-Greg owners know about but aren't revealing, would be allowed to continue through the 2009 season. In the off-season, there will be a complete review of the Friday-DL rule, and tighter controls for the 2010 season have been promised.
[ April 23, 2009, 12:06 PM: Message edited by: King of Queens ]