NFBC Juiced!

Kevin D · Post by **Kevin D** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:23 am

The bad news for baseball continues as some players in The National Fantasy Baseball Championship held simultaneously in New York, Chicago, and Las Vegas this past weekend apparently contrevented message board statements and used "Juice."

It's all about getting an edge and several players hooked up to live "Juice" when it had been expressly stated on the message board that battery power "Only" would be allowed for laptops. Several players hooked up anyway. Others aquired less power hungry eqipment, others bought and brought a supply of batteries, others brought extension cords and power strips, in spite of the rule prohibiting it. Some even used paper, pens, and pencils.

Messgae Board "Lawyers" are sorting it out and a notorious Gadfly who goes by the nome de plume of "Gordon Gekko" has stated that if it did happen "It was unfair." So what now. Fines? Suspensions?

This just in! A Congressional inquiry will be held this week in D.C. Greg Ambrouis Commissioner of the NFBC, Gekko, DYV, Spyhunter, and Edwards Kings will be called to testify. The hearings will be broadcast live on all major networks. Facilitators from each city will also be asked to be avaiable to give testimony as well as Brady Tinker who worked the leaques as an Auctioneer. A noted Rock Star who participated in the event will not be called before the legislative body.

Stay tuned to this space for updates, reports, and news on this burgeoning scandal

[ March 23, 2005, 06:51 PM: Message edited by: Kevin D ]

King of Queens · Post by **King of Queens** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 11:32 am

More proof that some of the most creative minds in fantasy baseball are right here in the NFBC.

Walla Walla · Post by **Walla Walla** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 1:32 pm

Juice? Well I did have some in the two screw drivers I had. The shame, the shame! The pen and paper I had really wouldn't have made through the draft without it.

Chameleon · Post by **Chameleon** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:12 pm

Finally! Something worth reading after the draft. Well done.

Spyhunter · Post by **Spyhunter** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:19 pm

I have been discussing the testimony I will give with my coach, Mark McGuire. He has recent experience in such matters and knows exactly how to answer tough questions.

Before I give my testimony, I would like to make a statement. I want it understood that I just used the 'juice', I didn't know what the 'juice' was... My other advisor, Barry has told me that the US public will buy this explanation and not probe further...

Spy

bjoak · Post by **bjoak** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:30 pm

I admit to a Jolt Cola the night after the hangover, er, the morning before the draft. I'm going to write a stupid book and name names of others whom I saw injecting Jolt Cola into their arses.

Wormdude · Post by **Wormdude** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 3:13 pm

My laptop and I did not have "juice." Well, that is to say we did not if you use the term in the same manner that we do. Really, it would depend on what your definition of "juice" is. As for these allegations of battery-powered devices, I completely deny any enjoyment was received from their use, thus this point must be rendered moot. The pictures taken of the two expensive..err..attractive females leaving my hotel room post-draft has also been taken completely out of greatsex, condom, um...context. These two were merely Facilitators, of a sort, and were extremly um..professional. Of this, be assured. In closing, let me state that we aren't here to discuss the past..we are here to bring all evil-doers to justice. Carry on.

Dyv · Post by **Dyv** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 3:32 pm

Originally posted by Wormdude:

My laptop and I did not have "juice." Well, that is to say we did not if you use the term in the same manner that we do. Really, it would depend on what your definition of "juice" is. As for these allegations of battery-powered devices, I completely deny any enjoyment was received from their use, thus this point must be rendered moot. The pictures taken of the two expensive..err..attractive females leaving my hotel room post-draft has also been taken completely out of greatsex, condom, um...context. These two were merely Facilitators, of a sort, and were extremly um..professional. Of this, be assured. In closing, let me state that we aren't here to discuss the past..we are here to bring all evil-doers to justice. Carry on. Worm, you're a bust up - go get Rocco Baldelli

Bandit · Post by **Bandit** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 4:02 pm

O'Reilly commented on "The Factor" about the latestest NFBC "Juice" contraverse:

"This is like re-living history, I mean Edison and Westinghouse fought fervently over wether AC or DC was the better power source for the new 20th Century America. Every Air Conditioner understands that Edison won, why can't those who think the laptops are "juiced" understand this."

"Then again, I don't believe in Capital Punishment, and certainly a DC fed laptop could be just that if not AC temporarily fed or alternate DC sources available to be inserted"

"One last comment before the break; numerous protesters are amassing outside Krause Publications office to protest the chance that the feeding tube to the digitized information be removed. They were last seen in Florida at the hospice of Terri Schiavo"

JohnZ · Post by **JohnZ** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 5:59 pm

Originally posted by Kevin D:

A noted Rock Star who participated in the event will not be called before the legislative body. Good. I was auctioneer in that one. Although noted lawyer Lawr was there too.

Dyv · Post by **Dyv** » Wed Mar 23, 2005 6:11 pm

Originally posted by UFS:

quote:Originally posted by Kevin D:

A noted Rock Star who participated in the event will not be called before the legislative body. Good. I was auctioneer in that one. Although noted lawyer Lawr was there too. [/QUOTE]Is Lawr really a lawyer? I suppose he might have 6 degrees by now

Edwards Kings · Post by **Edwards Kings** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 2:30 am

Who me?

"I see nothing, I hear nothing, I know NOTHING!"

Edwards Kings f.k.a John Banner

Kevin D · Post by **Kevin D** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 3:55 am

News continues to break in the "NFBC Juice Scandal." Several Pundits are now referring to the transgressions as "Juicegate."

The involement of the "Unnamed Rock Star" deepened as it was revealed he was watching "Meet the Fockers" between picks a violation of copyright laws.

Edwards Kings issued a denial and promptly was sued by a media conglomerate for usurping the phrase "Nothing! I know Nothing!" The press promptly dubbed him "Schultzie".

A psychologist chimed in saying that it is imperative the NFBC get the rosters posted as soon as posssible as the message boards have been packed, but with "No substance to chew on they may soon begin to eat their young."

More news as it happens.

Edwards Kings · Post by **Edwards Kings** » Thu Mar 24, 2005 5:46 am

"Dooh!"...no wait..I meant "And thats the name of THAT tune!"....nonono..."It's the real thing!"...oops!..."I shall return!"...wait..oh, forget it!